The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it's left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand.
A gun that size isn't actually big enough for situations where you need a gun, it's just meant to provide cover fire while you get a bigger better gun. You'll be using your left hand to fire the cover gun, so that your right hand is available for picking up the bigger gun. This has the additional benefit of leaving your dominant hand free to eat with.
No I haven't eaten cereal or processed breakfast foods in decades. Just give me the eggs, bacon, sausage, toast with lots of butter and cheese. Where the fuck is the cheese?
You mean beaurocracy and nepotism? Because in USSR there were no traditional corruption because having money was not enough to get anything you want. Usually there was problem of not having enough stuff to spend money on.
There's not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where's the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren't savages.
This is going to get so Florida, so I'm sorry. Most of the people I know who carry daily carry guns without safeties, so that just wouldn't work. Also, it's literally a mark of distinction between "responsible gun owners" and irresponsible ones that before the alcohol comes out all the guns are made conspicuously safe, unless the person is a designated non drinker. They would take on the unspoken responsibility of being armed and vigilant for the rest of the group. This will happen discreetly in mixed company, but likely conspicuously if everyone present carries a gun.
And anyone committing the faux pas of calling a magazine a clip would get a polite correction, and if repeated they wouldn't be invited next time.
Army here. After getting out, it took me a VERY long time and a lot of mental struggle to start calling magazines "clips" in passing conversation, just to troll everyone at the range.
They glory in the bounty of food. I went to a Cuban restaurant with a friend who was vegetarian. The staff just flat couldn't understand the concept. Why wouldn't you eat meat if it was available?
Constantokra? Could you have a word with my okra plants? They have not flowered yet, are flourishing in the heat but no okra. I planted fewer because in years past we couldn't keep up with them, but this year they hesitate? We want constant okra.
I went to edit the post and fat-finger deleted it. Basically I said I'm not that far from Florida and regional differences are wild. More than that, but I just finished dinner after a brisk walk in not-as-hot but thick-with-humidity-and-mosquitos air and I'm going to be lazy while I enjoy cold water.
Even in France, arguably the biggest of the bread snobs, they call American style white bread: pain de mie (soft bread) and they call it pain grillé (toasted bread).
Actually American stuff is illegal in the EU, preservatives, bleaches, dyes, whatnot. What's allowed to be called what will differ from country to country and you are not the biggest bread snobs, you're just the most vocally snobbish.
In Germany there's Toastbrot, actual bread though noone in their right mind would eat it without toasting first, then bigger and thicker and fluffier slices which are considered an "American-style" style of toast (again: don't eat them raw ewww) but as said not the real deal. Those latter ones may or may not be legally bread, it's usually hidden in the fine print while the big print is "sandwich slices" or something. Thing is the stuff needs to be made from 90% flour, sugar+fat together max 10%, and if you want something that's recognisable to Americans as bread you need to blow that limit.
Oh and all are bound to use a proper sourdough process, over-engineered as it may be in an industrial setting they're giving the dough enough time to actually pre-digest itself.
I was thinking the opposite: who needs the: toast, egg, or plates underneath - the coffee is mandatory though. Bacon on a paper towel needs less clean-up afterwards. :-P
The Breakfast Gun goes on whichever side the diner's firing hand is.
Edits below!
After some discussion and reflection, I agree with @[email protected] that the Breakfast Gun would indeed go on the left, "to show you plan for a peaceful meal."
Furthermore, presentation of Firearms depends on the level of dining:
At a polite table, guests are expected to lay their Meal Arms down holstered, so as not to soil the table linens. Placing a Meal Arm directly on the tablecloth is a sign of disrespect.
At a formal table, a Firearm Napkin will be provided for each diner. This allows diners to display their Meal Arms openly without soiling the linens.
At a "high table," Meal Arms will be provided by the host. These Arms, while fully functional, are adorned with many engravings and flourishes, as a demonstration of the host's status, and the diner's status as a guest at the table.
Gun goes on hip so that you don't need to train on drawing while eating breakfast separately from training on drawing while doing anything else while sitting.
At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It's considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.
Have you seen the trigger "safety" on a Glock? Yeah I don't have a safety on any of the guns I carry. Only one of them is a Glock, but that's the closest to a safety any of them have.
It goes on whichever side your dominant hand is. Also, in the picture it's flipped the wrong way: Handle goes out so you can pick it up easily for when you need to dispense freedom seeds.
American breakfast is the same as English breakfast except we don't have beans or blood sausage. The beans are replaced with fruit, the blood sausage is replaced with regular sausage, and the gun is just a centerpiece, not actually part of the meal.
Never occurred to me that I've never shot any firearm left handed. Wouldn't start with a pistol but I kinda wanna try it now with a rifle lol.
If I shoot anything like I throw left handed tho my curiosity will prolly kill the neighbors cat. Unless it is more than 3ft away, then it's completely safe lol.
That was one of the requirements for getting a concealed carry license in the state I did it, six shots left, reload, six shots right, reload then depending on which target distance you were at either 6 shots on one knee or just another 6 shots dominant hand, but you had to do both short and long range and hit a certain percentage on the target.
That's excellent! In case of necessary circumstances, that's the way. I aim to get my act together in short order, before it's necessary. Wish me luck, please and thank you.
I carry a LCP, (subcompact .380). I practice two hand, right hand, left hand. I also always try and shoot a magazine or two with sunglasses on at an indoor range to simulate low light conditions.
It has like a three inch barrel, so it's not the most accurate or easy to aim. I only shoot it at seven yards.
It's nasty to shoot, lot of kick. I call it the Angry Cricket. Trigger pull is heavy as it is a double action with no safety. I carry it with one in the pipe.
Hope I never have to use it, but if I do, I will be as accurate as possible. That's the ethical thing to do as I see it.
Exactly, and that's why you have your sidearm holster on the right. So the breakfast gun goes on the left to make dual-wielding easier, all while freeing your right hand to scoop eggs and bacon into your mouth.
It depends on your timetable. Right after it's consumed? Of course not, we're American. Does it shorten our lifespan significantly to the point of heart attacks in your mid to late 40s? Absolutely.
I'm surprised you put the guns away. I'd assume they'd just accumulate, and by the end of the day, all Americans would be carrying about 16 or 17 different firearms.
Then at the end of the year, you drive your 17 * 365 to the car dealership and trade the lot in for a bigger SUV.
If a European can't park inside your vehicle without damaging either one...is it really even worth owning? Why risk driving down the road unnoticed? Imagine leaving parking spaces unparked in... inefficient!
The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it's left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand.
Remove the /s, you are right and the commenter was ignorant of traditional American etiquette.
Can't I be both right and sarcastic?
The best kind of sarcasm is right.
No, left side is correct for the breakfast gun.
A gun that size isn't actually big enough for situations where you need a gun, it's just meant to provide cover fire while you get a bigger better gun. You'll be using your left hand to fire the cover gun, so that your right hand is available for picking up the bigger gun. This has the additional benefit of leaving your dominant hand free to eat with.
The correct answer, as they say, is always in the comments
You can drop a grown man or big game with a .22! Take lessons or give up the gun.
Serial number is on the other side so it's that way for the picture.
Also, "lying". "Lay" means "to recline".
This picture is distinctly lacking in ultraprocessed sugary cereal and/or shelf-stable pastries.
Yeah, plus the cholesterol medication. Bonus points if the mobility chair is within sight.
They're American. They can't afford cholesterol medication.
No I haven't eaten cereal or processed breakfast foods in decades. Just give me the eggs, bacon, sausage, toast with lots of butter and cheese. Where the fuck is the cheese?
Bacon is a processed food. A tasty one.
In a spray can somewhere
Don't go talking like that near Wisconsin.
Well according to commercials from the 80s when I was a kid that's part of a balanced breakfast.
Half the bacon is candy and the bread is a cake.
Shelf-stable pastries just never stops being an alarming phrase
One egg!? I'm sorry is this the USSR?
On its own single egg plate. So fancy
A real American would put the multiple eggs on top of the bacon
Close, but no, this is USSA. You missed by 4 kilometers.
Kilomet-🤢
For all times, for all people
Oh, wow! I am using that in political chats, given our current political climate.
Can you translate that to freedom units 💪?
No, this is clearly someone originally from Quebec. Because there, one egg is un ouef.
You mean USSA? Well the corruption is comparable.
You mean beaurocracy and nepotism? Because in USSR there were no traditional corruption because having money was not enough to get anything you want. Usually there was problem of not having enough stuff to spend money on.
AuthLeft: be fortunate you get the one egg
Not Our egg!
It used to be, but at this point in history, that's like $300 worth of bacon.
From experience that is about $20-30.
Only one way to resolve this dispute: gentlemen, to your respective breakfast guns.
Ok, but can't we just cook $300 worth of bacon and find out who is right and have enough bacon to stop my heart instead?
There's not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where's the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren't savages.
Are you crazy? The safety will be on, clip in.
This is going to get so Florida, so I'm sorry. Most of the people I know who carry daily carry guns without safeties, so that just wouldn't work. Also, it's literally a mark of distinction between "responsible gun owners" and irresponsible ones that before the alcohol comes out all the guns are made conspicuously safe, unless the person is a designated non drinker. They would take on the unspoken responsibility of being armed and vigilant for the rest of the group. This will happen discreetly in mixed company, but likely conspicuously if everyone present carries a gun.
And anyone committing the faux pas of calling a magazine a clip would get a polite correction, and if repeated they wouldn't be invited next time.
Army here. After getting out, it took me a VERY long time and a lot of mental struggle to start calling magazines "clips" in passing conversation, just to troll everyone at the range.
The toast is wrong for Florida though, we'd have Cuban bread.
The bacon though - we went to La Teresita here for breakfast, my kids ordered bacon and they brought them a whole bowl full of bacon to share.
They glory in the bounty of food. I went to a Cuban restaurant with a friend who was vegetarian. The staff just flat couldn't understand the concept. Why wouldn't you eat meat if it was available?
Constantokra? Could you have a word with my okra plants? They have not flowered yet, are flourishing in the heat but no okra. I planted fewer because in years past we couldn't keep up with them, but this year they hesitate? We want constant okra.
Everyone wants constantokra, but only a select few can achieve it.
I went to edit the post and fat-finger deleted it. Basically I said I'm not that far from Florida and regional differences are wild. More than that, but I just finished dinner after a brisk walk in not-as-hot but thick-with-humidity-and-mosquitos air and I'm going to be lazy while I enjoy cold water.
Sorry but toast is made from bread. That there would be legally called cake in large swathes of the planet
No it wouldn't.
Even in France, arguably the biggest of the bread snobs, they call American style white bread: pain de mie (soft bread) and they call it pain grillé (toasted bread).
This is just standard regular sliced bread.
Actually American stuff is illegal in the EU, preservatives, bleaches, dyes, whatnot. What's allowed to be called what will differ from country to country and you are not the biggest bread snobs, you're just the most vocally snobbish.
In Germany there's Toastbrot, actual bread though noone in their right mind would eat it without toasting first, then bigger and thicker and fluffier slices which are considered an "American-style" style of toast (again: don't eat them raw ewww) but as said not the real deal. Those latter ones may or may not be legally bread, it's usually hidden in the fine print while the big print is "sandwich slices" or something. Thing is the stuff needs to be made from 90% flour, sugar+fat together max 10%, and if you want something that's recognisable to Americans as bread you need to blow that limit.
Oh and all are bound to use a proper sourdough process, over-engineered as it may be in an industrial setting they're giving the dough enough time to actually pre-digest itself.
I actually looked this up; wonderbread has 2.5 grams of sugar per 30g slice!
Fuckin hell
The worst offender I could find in France was Harry's American bread. 1.2 grams of sugar per 40g slice
In Ireland, if bread has more than 2 grams of sugar per 100g, it's cake and is taxed as such
No, we're talking America here. That's not nearly enough butter. It needs to cover basically the whole face of the toast.
Unironically yes.
Indeed, as an American I feel it would only be exaggeration if the whole face of the toast was covered in so much butter that it's white.
Why wouldn’t you want butter over the whole face of the toast? What kind of monster are you?
The kind of monster who toasts my toast on the lowest setting, but still uses a full coat of butter.
I was thinking the opposite: who needs the: toast, egg, or plates underneath - the coffee is mandatory though. Bacon on a paper towel needs less clean-up afterwards. :-P
The Breakfast Gun goes on whichever side the diner's firing hand is.
Edits below!
After some discussion and reflection, I agree with @[email protected] that the Breakfast Gun would indeed go on the left, "to show you plan for a peaceful meal."
Furthermore, presentation of Firearms depends on the level of dining:
At a polite table, guests are expected to lay their Meal Arms down holstered, so as not to soil the table linens. Placing a Meal Arm directly on the tablecloth is a sign of disrespect.
At a formal table, a Firearm Napkin will be provided for each diner. This allows diners to display their Meal Arms openly without soiling the linens.
At a "high table," Meal Arms will be provided by the host. These Arms, while fully functional, are adorned with many engravings and flourishes, as a demonstration of the host's status, and the diner's status as a guest at the table.
Real shooters can shoot with both hands.
What's this gif from? I NEED to watch this movie.
Kopps (Sweden 2003)
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0339230/
Sweden?! I was so sure that was gonna be Bollywood...!
Having seen it, I have to say that it's inspired by India.
It's not a very good movie, but it has those scenes.
Clearly it's from Holy Wood.
Awesome, thanks.
I stand corrected.
It goes on the opposite side to show you plan for a peaceful meal.
Now that's etiquette.
That isn't an ambidextrous gun, so it belongs on the right.
Wait … I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ' What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have ~ Ron Swanson
Ron, holding two cartons of eggs: "Is this all the eggs we have?"
Donna: "Yes. What are you making?"
Ron: "Eggs."
Ok, first off....I usually have two eggs.
Second, it is with my Sig p365
So...checkmate!
Also, there's only one starch. We have potatoes with our toast.
Three eggs. But yes. Sig P365.
I think it's a 226?
Gun goes on hip so that you don't need to train on drawing while eating breakfast separately from training on drawing while doing anything else while sitting.
Gun goes on lap so when someone sits across from you and gets mouthy, you can shoot them in the dick.
Butters stop shooting people in the dick!
At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It's considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.
That's the ceremonical gun, the actual one is under the belt pointing at the owner's testicles.
Safety off. Only protection is the hefty FUPA obscuring the weapon from sight
Have you seen the trigger "safety" on a Glock? Yeah I don't have a safety on any of the guns I carry. Only one of them is a Glock, but that's the closest to a safety any of them have.
Ya gotta do a desk pop.
It goes on whichever side your dominant hand is. Also, in the picture it's flipped the wrong way: Handle goes out so you can pick it up easily for when you need to dispense freedom seeds.
Also^2, the coffee should be black.
I was gonna upvote you for the first paragraph, but had to rescind it for the second.
Black coffee best coffee and I'll stand by that statement.
I assume you eat dry cereal without milk too, like an serial killer.
Nope, milk is fine in cereal.
Coffee black. Cereal with yogurt or heavy cream.
Close. I keep a little league aluminum baseball bat handy for those rude individuals that like to interrupt my peaceful breakfast.
This is why I have a suppressor on my breakfast gun
Si vis pacem, para baseball bat
Muy verdades
No donut?
That's probably second breakfast.
Uh... Why is there only one egg?
It's a light breakfast. It'd be a skillet if it was a full breakfast, with a stack of pancakes if it was a Sunday.
Where is the fucking cheese and Coca Cola?
That cheese sounds interesting, where would I find it?
You must not be American. Everything here is better with cheese.
Eggs? Cheese.
Toast? Cheese.
Bacon? Cheese.
All of the above combined, you got a sammich.
Coffee? Cheese.
Gun? Cheese.
Thank God I'm not american
""""""""""""cheese""""""""""""
or whatever that plastic thing you guys eat is
No cheese
No sausages
No ketchup
Looks like the UK viewpoint.
I just imagine they eat a huge bowl of that candy which they xall cereal.
I believe in plain Cheerios superiority
I prefer to have my bacon mountain on top of my pancake tower. Also, needs more eggs and jelly for my toast, but where.the.fuck. is my glass of OJ?
I am pancake!
Everything should be coated in maple syrup too.
Idk. Seems a lot of people here use cane syrup, which I don't really think has any flavor at all
Corn syrup!
Not enough bacon.
If you’re a politician, you get a free side of blatant corruption too
Wtf is BREAD doing there?! You don’t have VEGETABLES at BREAKFAST this is AMERICA
American breakfast is the same as English breakfast except we don't have beans or blood sausage. The beans are replaced with fruit, the blood sausage is replaced with regular sausage, and the gun is just a centerpiece, not actually part of the meal.
False. Gun too small, and no ammo on the table.
EDIT: And no cheap shit beer? This is nonsense.
Lol. We don’t use separate plates unless we are served them at a restaurant.
Americans can't cook. This is a standard breakfast at a restaurant.
This must be a diet meal. I usually have a few sides of magazines for the gun course.
Needs pancakes instead of toast, and the egg.. just no.
No biscuits and gravy?!
Or grits if you're a filthy southerner.
That's not an AR-15
That's because it's next to the dessert on a different image.
Goes on the side of the dominant hand.
Never occurred to me that I've never shot any firearm left handed. Wouldn't start with a pistol but I kinda wanna try it now with a rifle lol.
If I shoot anything like I throw left handed tho my curiosity will prolly kill the neighbors cat. Unless it is more than 3ft away, then it's completely safe lol.
If one owns weapons, I'd say it's a decent idea to learn some dexterity with the non-dominant hand.
Yeah...imagine actually getting in a gun fight and getting shot in the hand/arm only to then be completely useless.
Get training that lefty (or righty if you are a lefty!)
Exactly.
That was one of the requirements for getting a concealed carry license in the state I did it, six shots left, reload, six shots right, reload then depending on which target distance you were at either 6 shots on one knee or just another 6 shots dominant hand, but you had to do both short and long range and hit a certain percentage on the target.
That's excellent! In case of necessary circumstances, that's the way. I aim to get my act together in short order, before it's necessary. Wish me luck, please and thank you.
Yeah id ageee in theory but I feel like I should start in a batting cage or swinging lefty golfing. I am not in the slightest bit ambidextrous lol
You are not alone, I'm right there with you!
I carry a LCP, (subcompact .380). I practice two hand, right hand, left hand. I also always try and shoot a magazine or two with sunglasses on at an indoor range to simulate low light conditions.
It has like a three inch barrel, so it's not the most accurate or easy to aim. I only shoot it at seven yards.
It's nasty to shoot, lot of kick. I call it the Angry Cricket. Trigger pull is heavy as it is a double action with no safety. I carry it with one in the pipe.
Hope I never have to use it, but if I do, I will be as accurate as possible. That's the ethical thing to do as I see it.
I needed that literal lol. It's been a long day! Thank you!
Exactly, and that's why you have your sidearm holster on the right. So the breakfast gun goes on the left to make dual-wielding easier, all while freeing your right hand to scoop eggs and bacon into your mouth.
I was always taught that the breakfast gun goes on the right and points to the right, unless you're left handed
Most americans are right shooties, so not having it there seems weird. You never know when you need to blow someone's head off.
No, it goes on the left so that you don’t need to put down your coffee to shoot the TV!
*to shoot the printer
New business idea: A gun range where you can shoot old broken printers
Better shoot new HP printers
FTFY. Those asshats are a clear and present danger to all of humanity.
I've seen people eat pop tarts and bacon
As an alternative: when the table is set with Bowie Knife and gun, the gun goes to the left.
That's an Australian-American breakfast.
Can't be an American breakfast; that's not a 1911.
TWO WORLD WARS!!1!
Swiss German American maybe
Is this not a fatal amount of bacon?
Only for weak euro-arteries.
My arteries are so strong that you could shoot me with the breakfast gun and I wouldn't spring a leak.
It depends on your timetable. Right after it's consumed? Of course not, we're American. Does it shorten our lifespan significantly to the point of heart attacks in your mid to late 40s? Absolutely.
I love you
KitchenBreakfast Gun™!Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
With a Swiss gun 😁. And matching my mug.
If you took away the majority of the bacon this would be a really good breakfast 👍🏽
If you took away the majority of the baconthis would be a really good breakfast 👍🏽If you took away the majority of the bacon this wouldbea really good breakfast👍🏽The most American thing I have ever seen
Remember to unload and clean your breakfast gun. Put it away, and then get your lunch gun.
I'm surprised you put the guns away. I'd assume they'd just accumulate, and by the end of the day, all Americans would be carrying about 16 or 17 different firearms.
Then at the end of the year, you drive your 17 * 365 to the car dealership and trade the lot in for a bigger SUV.
If a European can't park inside your vehicle without damaging either one...is it really even worth owning? Why risk driving down the road unnoticed? Imagine leaving parking spaces unparked in... inefficient!
The lunch gun goes on the right
Sometimes
I've seen people eat pop tarts and bacon
Dat wood grip Sig tho, elegance.