Spyke

I would use this, if I met people IRL that have heard of Lemmy.

2

A guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said "Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?" I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They're married now.

28
lemmy.world

The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend's house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.

23

Im happy single so one of y’all can have this one.

Are you a cigarette? Cause I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth.

Savage one. If you see two girls in a club, go over and ask the one you are NOT interested in if they’d like to dance. When they say yes, say go on then I’ll keep your friend company.

18
ngnreply
lemy.lol

and whats the plan when they say no

6
lemmy.sdf.org

“I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.”

“If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?”

18

Now, remember the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents.

Have sex with them and you're in.

1

"I'm here to apply for the position of your Next Bad Decision. My parents always said I was a mistake, so I think that makes me well qualified."

That's literally how I got my wife.

14

I heard one in Spanish that I liked.

"¡Si cocinas como camina me como hasta las raspitas!"

If you cook the way you walk, I'll eat even the scrapings from the pan.

10

Y’ever seen someone solve a Rubik’s cube in just 5 seconds?

Yeah, me neither.

9
lemmy.world

Are you a plates in a drawer or plates in a cupboard kind of person?

I'm sure it'll work one of these days.

7
lemmy.ml

I don't know if it's a pick up line, but when I get a girls number I immediately send her a picture of a rooster and ask if she likes unsolicited cock pics.

5

I used to do that with Dick pics. Dick van Dyke, Dick Nixon, Andy Dick, Philip K. Dick ...

5

[rolls D20 in front of her or on video. Nat 1.] Okay here goes nothing - [following my worst pickup line]

4

Hey are you trying to blind me? Cause dang your clothes are stunning

4