What is a discreet way of waking myself?
I need to get up without waking the wife and kids, I got a smartwatch to vibrate and it woke her. The alarm is always going to wake the house.
Is there anything else?
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I can't imagine that you can get out of bed without waking your wife if your smartwatch vibrating wakes her up.
Depends where the arm is I think. When it vibrates under the pillow you're using, it can sound very loud
I assume that OP isn't sleeping with the wrist wearing the watch underneath the pillow their wife has her head on.
Pulling your arm from under a pillow someone is using seems very likely to disturb them and wake them. You're not doing that, OP, right?
Idk, my husband can sneak out of bed, but his phone vibrating in the bed wakes me. Even if it's just a little zzt to indicate a text has come in. I guess it's one of the noises I'm "listening for"?
Well, I'm sure you're right.
Vibrating butt plug with timer
Realistically, your wife is your partner and some sacrifices need to be made. If she can't sleep through a watch, she should consider earplugs or just deal. I'm sure you silence it and leave the room ASAP so, that's just life of sharing a room with a spouse.
Edit like literally millions of spouses have tolerated their other rising before them, it's a normal part of the deal
Plus you can make a side hustle by cheating at chess
My dad has had the single fucking loudest alarm clock for literally my entire life. It's such a god awful racket. It had to be, because my dad has the worst snoring I've heard in my life. Man sounds like a chainsaw, and you can hear him clear across the house. My mom would sleep directly through it all. It's wild.
Damn, I was coming here to say this. All I can add is that maybe sleep on your stomach with one of these, otherwise it could wake her up vibrating the mattress, since she sounds like a light sleeper.
If your wife is such a light sleeper that a vibrating watch is waking her perhaps sleeping in a separate room when you need to wake up at a certain time would work?
Separate rooms is definitely not an option. It's not so much super light sleeper just she is nursing and I'd like to get a workout in before everyone else wakes. If I wake the kids we're all screwed if I wake her I ruin what peace she gets.
Sounds like you need to change the time you do the workout.
Why because my two options are don't get up early or sleep separately?
Because it sounds like she's sacrificing a lot to nurse a new baby, so maybe you could sacrifice a little bit for her so she can get at least a bit of sleep.
Maybe mind your own business and stop making presumptions about my family life you self righteous prick.
I want to wake an hour before everyone to do some exercising so I'm not eating into the family time. The time would otherwise be spent sleeping like everyone else.
I honestly can't believe the audacity of your reply.
"Mind your own business on a public forum where I chose to disclose information!" How rich.
It's based on absolutely no information that I provided, just your apparent want for feeling superior.
Put the watch on your ankle? Probably idiotic, but that might be silent enough. And you'd have to do some work to make it stop, waking you up efficiently.
Try a different watch or adjust the haptics to make it vibrate less? Casio sells an inexpensive alarm watch that vibrates if you can't dial the watch back.
A split king bed did wonders for my wife and I. I never feel her move. Now, if it's noise that wakes her up, a sound machine could help.
Split king? So, two mattresses and one duvet, is it?
It's essentially 2 twin xl mattress side by side. You can use one duvet, but we blanket fight, so we use 2 separate.
Lol I know the 5g stuff is a stupid myth but sleeping with a Bluetooth device strapped to your cranium feels like it's putting the research conclusions to the test
sleeping peacefully
BLUETOOTH DISCONNECTED
BLUETOOTH CONNECTED
angry groggy noises
Oh God I didn't even think about a rogue connection:
10h train braking, pig fucking, garbage disposal sleep sounds ASMR vibe begins
I don't suppose there's room for a bed in the babies' room, so after the mid-night nursings she could sleep in there until they're hungry again? Only if she wants to, of course. It can be more restful than trying to sleep with your ears on High for sounds of distress from the other room, which also makes you oversensitive to hubby's alarm.
The baby is in our room, and the others have their own, but the house is old and creaky, so I tread carefully.
Literally or figuratively?
Could you or her be occupying another room for a few weeks/months or is it worth a fight
What I'm trying to do is not worth sleeping alone, I just want to get a workout in before the day starts and waking anyone will just start the day earlier. But sleeping separately is worse than being out of shape.
To each their own, I'd say for a few weeks no biggie. Obviously cuddle/rest together
Having raised many kids, you have to take your extra time where you can actually find it. If your family is early to rise, work out before bed instead, after they go to sleep. I have done early morning workouts, late night workouts, lunch time workouts. It may be that you can't have morning time alone right now.
And why is a different room definitely not an option?
prob bc houses have finite space
Because this is an ongoing situation, and I don't want to sleep without my partner.
in a strange twist, the chess world already solved this one. Vibrating buttplug
Was there a scandal where a chess player had a vibrating buttplug controlled by another person giving him the answers? That’s….dedication I guess
I believe it was more like: a guy was accused of cheating (against Magnus Carlsen), and anarchychess on reddit came up with the buttplug theory. Now everyone thinks it actually happened.
There was, and then some guy put it to the test á la mythbuster style. I’ll leave the conclusion for you to enjoy
With some sort of link I assume? Or no.
Considering that you can control Lovense toys (and others) from any where in the world, if they had no delay in the live feed, it would be simple to communicate moves, even to a complete novice.
From there, all you’d need is somebody in the audience with a chess game open and set to the highest difficulty.
That person “plays” as magnus and sends the moves the AI takes.
The easiest way to prevent it is to prevent people in the live audience from having phones, and delaying the feed ~5 minutes for everyone else.
which is normal, actually, since you want to cut the feed before a streaker… oh right this is chess.)
If Lemmy had awards I'd give you one because I really thought I was gonna be original by bringing that up but no, you beat me to it, well done
It waa the first thing I thought of as well so there are at least 3 of us.
Yo
Drink several glasses of water before going to bed so you wake up to pee.
That could work, I'd need to figure out how long it takes to get to pee time from drinking.
Practice, practice, practice!
But not too much practice
Damn that is genius
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/cd59217a-fe1d-468f-8f2d-4cfb4671e49b
Yep. That's where I learned it from, too. The first 9 seasons of the Simpsons was the greatest thing to ever come from American Television.
I was really hoping someone had like a really low volume pillow alarm or something, but instead, you guys are just really creative. I wouldn't have thought to do this.
Someone makes, or used to make, a pillow speaker that used bone conduction. It connects to a cell phone. Could try this and make your alarm only sound through this speaker and not your phone speaker. Or maybe try a basic flat pillow speaker. Good luck
You could grab a brush and put a little make-up. Perhaps hide the scars to fade away the shake-up. But then why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Ah, here you go create another fable.
Why do you want a discreet way to wake up? You wanted to.
I don't think you trust in my self-righteous suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die
Something clicked in my mind when I read the phrase self-righteous suicide and SOAD just popped into my head
Probably to be polite, and give his family more valuable sleep time while he does responsible things.
Gotta get to work and do that important maintenance so the Systems don't go Down.
WHAT? Do they own the World? How do you own disorder?
Somewhere between the sacred silence and peace.
Drink a lot of water before bed, your bladder will wake you up
Get a cat and feed it first thing every day when you get up. Soon you'll have claws in your arm to wake you. Might it meow and wake the wife and kids? Perhaps, but wives and kids love cats so they won't mind.
This works very well. Our girls get fed at 8 am, so they collectively wake up and start losing their shit, crying for food and rubbing all over us, around 6 to 6:30 am.
connected butt plug
How does improving one's skill in chess correlate to waking up early?
Have her boyfriend give you a shake when its time to get up.
Kindly ask her to get used to your alarm sound, and not wake up then.
This may seem harsh, but actually it isn't. Every house has it's own specific sounds, and it is quite normal to get used to them and not wake up. If you hear other sounds that are unusual, then you wake up. It is a natural thing.
I had a roommate in college that had trouble waking up even with an alarm, and had a much earlier class schedule than me. Never got used to it, just got sleep deprivation. Maybe it's "natural" for you and my ex roommate to sleep through alarms, but as they are designed to not let you sleep through them, many people cannot.
Yes, but presumably OP can find an alarm that isn't as obtrusive as the average one.
It's still obviously going to disrupt the sleep of anyone else in the same room. Maybe if the alarm sounded through headphones it would not.
Yeah, we'll get used to the house for sure, but I'll have to be quiet for the time being. It's not worth losing what could be an extra hour or two of everyone's sleep. We generally make an effort to not shield them from noise during daytime naps and such, but sleep is too precious these days.
Ngl, had to read the title twice.
I originally read it as “…discreet way of walking myself…”Was thinking: “What kind of question is that? Just stand up and start walking somewhere. No need to be discreet about it…”
Then thought maybe the family dog was looking for advice from Lemmy?
What if you got a battery and put it on a timer and hooked the electrodes to your toes? That way you get moderately zapped, and she doesn't wake up. After a week or so, I would bet you have so much anxiety that your internal clock will wake you, even without the zap. The body is amazing.
I had to put on my glasses to read the post title...
Legitimate answer though, once upon a time before I realized such relationships are not really feasible for me to maintain, I just kept a separate stowable bed in the office for work nights when I had to get up earlier without waking the gf. Days she got up earlier, she couldn't wake me if she tried, but I would sometimes steal the blanket and wake her early still so we got multiple separate blankets. Usually three in case one of us did a double blanket steal.
Get an enlarged prostate. You won't sleep for more than 3 hours straight promise.
Why's that so? Do u like get extra horny or something
imminent need to pee
Ohh
But i just went D:
Does your wife wear a sleep mask/would she be willing to wear one? You could then get one of those sunrise alarm clocks that lights up the room before making noise.
Or motorized blinds that can be set to a schedule. I'm very light sensitive and setting the blind schedule is all I need to wake up or sleep in.
If she woke up to a vibration from a watch, I bet she’d wake up hearing motorized blinds.
If a smart watch vibrating on your wrist, assuming it wasn't also alarming with audio, then how are you going to avoid waking her by just getting out of bed?
I don't know if this will work for you. Every night I close my eyes and picture a clock with the time I want to wake. Then I tell myself the time I want to wake up.
I'm.. weirdly similar. I tend to wake naturally about 5 minutes before my alarm every day, even if it's not a normal wake time. Doesn't apply if I didn't set an alarm, obviously.
I will wake up and be like "damn my alarm is gonna go off in two minutes" and be right somehow, no idea how
I think for me it's an anxiety thing, and a generally good sense of time. If I have to be up at a certain time, I sleep more restlessly, and I tend to be good at estimating the time when I just barely wake up. So I wake up several times through the night, and just stay up when it's near time for the alarm.
I dont have this method but I do seem to be able to fall in to a routine in less than a two week period and then just wake up at the same time every day essentially invariably, not sure how I do it. I dont remember it being like that when I was a kid, but at least since my military service Ive been able to get up when needed (not saying its correlated to military life, just that thats what point in life I was at when I noticed this)
Did your smartwatch actually buzz/vibrate? Hate to shill, but try an Apple Watch. It doesn’t really buzz, but the haptics feel like a tap on the wrist.
That being said, if a discrete buzz wakes her, how are you supposed to get up without waking her?
Some smart watches allow you to adjust the intensity of the vibration. (My Samsung Watch6 does.) See if your will let you experiment with that.
That could be beneficial. My fitbit was too strong
It's a nice option. I normally want it at max, but I turn it down if I'm going to sleep with it on my wrist.
On a similar note, the quality of the vibration motor also matters. The Pebble I had and the Galaxy Watch 6 that I have right now vibrate with a subtle haptic-like feel which is subtle yet strong enough to wake you up. On the other hand, I had a cheap Garmin Vivoactive that would buzz really strong and be really loud.
Drink enough water at the right time to pee at the right time
This works for me but there are people who wake up during the middle of the night to pee. So this method probably won't work for them.
OMG three or four times some nights! I need to stop drinking liquids at a certain hour but I love water
Get some kind of gas you can puff out at your wife to make her fall back asleep.
Create a mat that you lay on with parallel copper lines, attach it to a tazer circuit and an audrino. Replace alarm speaker with audrino.
Just keep a taser by the bed so when she wakes up you can paralyze her so she won't accidentally go to work.
I had a first gen Xiaomi smart band thingy for this very reason that I put on my leg. Worked well enough unless I was exhausted or drunk but then nothing would anyway.
I had a smartwatch that had a very annoyingly buzzy vibration, so I empathize with this problem. If nothing else works I do believe that some expensive smartwatches (like apple watch) have a more quiet "tappy" vibration. You could test in store to see how loud the sound is before buying it
My Fitbit Inspire 3 (cheapest fitbit, comes with 6 months Fitbit premium so you can see how your sleep is and address any issues) has alarm vibration options and it is (usually) enough to wake me. Never wakes the wife. If you sleep with her on your arm or something, then this probably won't work. They also have light alarms (goes from dark yellow to bright white over a 30 minute period) and she could wear a sleep mask.
Why? I prefer being seen by less people. I assume companies are less likely to archive bot replies. Curious if there are reasons against it.
Heating pad on a timer? Silent, but probably uncomfortable enough to make you aware of the time when it's on.
Put the watch around your balls.
Or even better, just get a vibrating cock ring.
In the butt should also work. Just make sure it has a flired base.
Then it would definitely wake his wife up, but make up for it by making her orgasm. Win/win?
A mattress with per-side heat controls. Unplug it, set your side to super hot, then use a timer socket to make it turn on when you want to wake up.
There are actually watches/bands that will give a minor shock as an alarm. Sounds crazy but unless it jump to the wife (hope it wouldn't be that strong...) it shouldn't wake anyone. Novel idea if nothing else.
Brilliant! Now, instead of being roused by her spouse's watch vibrating, she can be jolted awake by him shrieking "Fuck!" every morning!
(Joke response)
I'd be more concerned with involuntarily slapping someone if it made my arm jerk or something.
Rumor has it you spent a good amount of time "involuntarily slapping" with your arm-jerks...
Interesting. Looks like "Pavlok" is the main brand. If OP buys their more expensive one OP could use it to silently wake up AND train himself to get out of bed super gently by shocking himself anytime he disturbs his wife!
This might be my favourite option
Links?
Much as I hate to link to Amazon I'm getting issues with the site for one of the main sellers.
https://www.amazon.com/Shock-Clock-Wake-Up-Trainer/dp/B01EZ77IOY
Smart bulbs, have it turn on automatically at the time a gentle alarm goes off
Wouldn't the light also wake the wife up
I'd use my bedside light and hopefully get up before it wakes her
OP could put up a divider or something to block the light (or their wife could wear a sleep mask).
This could work so well! Ideally I'd put it in my bedside light!
Kasa bulbs have a fade feature that lets you gradually fade up to x% over a given amount of time.
I really like using that feature to wake me up gradually as my alarm approaches.
Deaf people have a vibrating pad under their bedsheet.
Links?
I have kids, babies, so yes.
i always wake up at the same time, the alarm is just an indicator that I also need to get out of bed today.
If your wife is the type who would want to wear a sleep mask, you could put your lights on a timer to make you up, if you have smart lights a lot of them have a feature to turn the brightness up slowly to wake you up more gently. She wouldn't be bothered by them if she's wearing a mask but they'd get you up.
There are these lamps that mimic natural sunrise. If you put one on your side of the bed and sleep towards it, might work. I used one a decade ago and it worked ok. Keep the watch alarm as back up though
Hatch alarm clock uses light to wake you up. There are cheaper knockoffs on Amazon.
If you can wear sleep headphones the Sleep app for android will send it's alarm to headphones. And it will ramp up the volume of the alarm over time. I imagine there's something similar on iOS. I wear SleepPhones... they're fine.
You can try the watch again with very low volume or some quiet alarm sound with no vibrate and leave it under your pillow.
Just set an alarm to wake you up before the main alarm and then silence the main alarm and get up. But then you need to set another alarm to remind you to cancel that alarm.
Ultimately you're going to have to smother her with your pillow before the first alarm goes off, that way it won't be able to bother her, so make sure to set an alarm to remind you.
Try gentle, natural sounds in your alarm. Bird songs, sound if rain, etc. Many alarm apps have an option to start very quiet and increase volume gradually, that may help
Set alarm quiet-ish on your phone, put it under your pillow then hope the volume is loud enough to wake you, but the muffled sound doesn't wake them up?
If the watch vibrating is too much, I fail to see how this has any chance.
They could try different alarm tones too. If I go with something harsh and irritating I wake up angry about it, if I co with something that brings me around gently I'm as happy as any man getting up at 4:15am.
Perhaps the vibrating option is not a good option, but a low volume alarm could sound loud enough for the person on the pillow, and substantial quieter for someone only a short distance away.
It's like an alarm playing through headphones only without having to wear uncomfortable headphones while you are trying to sleep.
My phone has an escalating volume option for alarms. I usually hear it before it's loud enough for anyone else to hear.
I got a sunrise alarm clock recently and I've really been enjoying it. Whether it will work for your situation or not depends on how sensitive you each are to light in the mornings.
I have no idea if this is a good product or not but look up shock clock alarm watch. It uses an electric shock to wake the wearer up.
I read that without the l in clock the first time....
Maybe a small shielded pin light focused on your pillow only, on a timer. We naturally wake up to the sun without an alarm. Make sure it can't be seen from your wife's side.
I've used the Shokz bone conducting headphones and love them. Not sure if OP can find a model that they can sleep in, but the principle is sound. I got mine because I wanted to be able to listen to music without waking up the baby.
Haven't used an alarm in many years. It is something you can train and get better at, just actively tell yourself when you want to wake up. Boom, magic.
Just saw that this was downvoted quite a bit. Not sure what the beef was. I seriously haven't used an alarm clock in like 10-15 years.