What you are looking for is a "Bed shaker". These are often used by the deaf to wake up. A relatively cheap phone-connected one can be found here but it's iphone only. This one works with Android. Both use proprietary apps. The website linked was just at the top of a Google search, you can find stuff like this on Amazon as well.

I would have said the same. 3 and a half years working retail during the pandemic and last week was the week it knocked me on my ass. Be careful.

But you must! How else would they know to shopsaf sosalarbdlmgre sofasdpsd dsflasos sdfasd afsdfasops?

You don't understand, he has to piss himself because his pants are continuously on fire.

Hard and soft tacos? How accommodating.

That's not a jablecloth that's a jlacemat.

I saw "Hey ChatGPT, please write a text I can send to every customer today that maximizes the size of my tips".

You do not recognize the bodies in the stairwell.

So... Any Richard Bachman?

I dunno, wore a mask in public during the worst of it and used hand sanitizer regularly? I think it helped more that I'm a homebody with no friends.

Why not both?

That episode is 27 years old.

Just make your own words! Append that shit to any word you want. Be a mongermonger.

They're all fascists but the meme doesn't make any sense. The top image shows how to use the scanner to scan a single page, and the bottom image is for feeding multiple pages into the scanner (The arrows are going in, not out). They're both inputs. The copier output is underneath the scanner.

1400-1600 calories, only 180% of daily sodium requirement.... If you had a light breakfast and it's the only other thing you eat that day it's not that bad. You might want to get some more fiber (Not the stick though), and a multivitamin wouldn't hurt.

I'm looking for a fulfilling Gregonic relationship.

So inappropriate. It's much more reasonable to tell your friend to sleep... tight.

Tom Seaver was a well-known baseball pitcher in the 70's, and 1978 was the year he threw a no-hitter.

They start the count at #3. Don't want anybody to get any ideas...