Spyke

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Just let me do my job

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It is the beating heart of Windows itself, the nuclear reactor at the heart of the facility. And much like with a nuclear reactor, you don't screw around in the core unless you have a damn good reason.
Doing so at random is a good way to make both go kaboom.

memes

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Just let me do my job

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LUA Buglight is also good for documenting why a program needs admin when it shouldn't.

After that, you just write an admin shim with the app compatibility toolkit and just add write perms to the necessary folders.
...Unless it's system32. Then your software request can die in a fire, and I'm forwarding the info to your boss (and mine) before you can complain to them.

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This HAS to be satire

I agree...
but not in the way the Twitter OP expects.

For the majority of intersections, if you don't press the button (or more often, don't press it in time), you don't get the walk light. Doesn't matter if the parallel car traffic has a green and all cross traffic is blocked, if you didn't press it beforehand, it stays on the red hand and skips your turn.

I say the buttons should not be there to "beg" for crossing permission. They should be used to say, "Hey I'm in a wheelchair or carrying a heavy can you give me 15 extra seconds?" And it should not need to be pressed beforehand.

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This HAS to be satire

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There's one on my bike ride home that's wired backwards. You need to hit the one that controls the perpendicular flow to go straight.
I sent in a service request to the city, but they said it was the state's responsibility and forwarded it.

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Bay Area homeowners are hiring a sword-wielding man to help them kick squatters out of empty properties: ‘The average squatter has no melee experience’

...with professional-grade tactical gear.
The gear includes firearms, ballistic full-body armor, flash bangs and smoke grenades, tear gas...

Where the fuck are you sourcing explosives and tear gas as a civilian, and more importantly...
Where can I get some? Purely for home defense, of course. Definitely not wanting it for defrost purposes.