I agree with your sentiments! I love the engagement outside of all of these discussions and absolute flood of "how do I do xyz" and "it would be better if...." on like every single community and every post lol.
I want access to lemmygrad so I created another account, but overall I do like how beehaw is structured and all things considered I'm surprised at how much people are being critical of it, especially with Alyaza and Gaywallets very patient and thoughtful responses.
More what I'm getting at, though, in terms of trying to change lemmy is changing the culture of it. Regardless of where they are on the spectrum, it seems like most people on lemmy have been some flavor of leftist, and I could be wrong, but holy cow there are a TON of people "both sides"ing and using the example of discussion around gender affirming Healthcare not being a good convo to have here as something infringing on their free speech as if those conversations aren't dogwhistles for transphobia. People can happily move to other centrist instances, or ones like exploding-heads if they want to engage in that crap. Again, I'm a newb here and I could be off and maybe this has always been a thing, but I was on mastodon years ago which is similar and I wasn't too far off
I think in terms of technical development, of course there's always room for improvement but I also feel that some things are the way they are for a reason, and endless expansion might not be what the developers want, over a more cohesive, personal community. I go both ways on that.