My grandmother got me some uranium because she knows I'm into reactors. I didn't have the heart to tell her she got scammed & it was all depleted.

if you ask a police officer for a piece of candy then legally they have to give you one

how dare you question my benevolence. to the pits with you.

100%. Also cleaning the kitchen. Always cleaning the kitchen.

rats can't vomit

flamingos are pink due to diet. otherwise they'd be grey

The House on the Rock in Wisconsin was a lot funner than I thought it would be. I happened to visit when there was hardly anyone there, so that helped greatly. There's a huge room with a full size whale statue in the middle. And a suspended triangular room with a window on the floor overlooking treetops. Plus all sorts of other random stuff.

i took a motorcycle class where they also taught us that second one too: focus on where you want to go, not on what you want to avoid.

i hadn't considered it in a broader context until your post, but you're right it works

don't fight against gravity by trying to fly directly towards the universe. Instead, fly parallel to the universe until you are out of the black hole's pull, then angle back towards the universe.

pulling over at a gas station to ask for directions

& optimizing emm386 & himem.sys

Flipped off my Mac two days ago and texted it to a friend who shares my annoyance with forced updates

it does feel brutal, but it also feels cathartic. when it's spazzing out and just ignoring everything for 5 seconds...30 seconds...1 minute...2 minutes i start feeling like some angry king :"I WILL NOT BE IGNORED BY THE LIKES IF YOU, MACHINE" and i admit i get some vindictive satisfaction from just murdering it then and there.

I'm blue Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di Da ba dee da ba di

rats can't vomit

A friend of mine really despises Progressive's "Flo" and that Geico Gekko. I'm no fan myself, but he REALLY hates them and says he'll never give those companies any business because of those characters.

Clearly wasn't PADI certified because that's like SCUBA 101: no weed smoke in your tanks or you'll lose your nads.

the sun is the biggest star in our observable solar system

i once criticized Salvador Dali's artwork. turns out people really love that guy and i'm a moron

there was an old ad with a kid sitting on a dock fishing, eating a bologna sandwich and singing "my bologna has a first name, its o-s-c-a-r. my bologna has a second name its m-a-y-e-r"...

nothing wrong with the commercial except it turned out to be an ear worm that would live in my head FOREVER. my brain trots it out at least once a month for no good reason. usually more.

ive never bought bologna and i'm low key mad at Oscar Mayer so maybe this counts?

I worked on the “slime line,” gutting fish in Seldovia Alaska when I was young. One long summer was more than enough for me. Also spent time while i was there “de-byssing” mussels on a raft with my buddies for some side cash. Same as debearding, but the guy called it “de-byssing.”

This fish was hand carved out of a moose antler. I saw it in a store in Anchorage when I was there for a friend's wedding. It was the first original art I ever bought and was pretty expensive at the time.