Handy rule of thumb I guess but I really don't think that applies to riseup in a meaningful way

Totally agreed. As much as I don't like them handing over that sort of data, its hard to justify demanding they accept facing prison time for some dipshit on their service.

I dont think youre going crazy, but this is also what lots of people on reddit felt about the users moving to Lemmy. Different people have different priorities, and there arent really a ton of ways to express displeasure with the admin decisions of your instance to say "I'm leaving and heres why" although some people are obviously being a bit hyperbolic.

Just to add, you can also use multiple databases to help maintain separation

Weird