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fafopwa·Friends and Family of Persons with Addiction byloopy

Addiction in my family’s life

Hi everyone, my name is loopy and I created this lemmy community to make a space for people to share and support each other through the challenges of having a friend or family member struggling with addiction. As the sidebar says, this is not to replace therapy; think of it like an online support group.

I’ll get the ball rolling a little bit by sharing that my BIL has been struggling with addiction. First to opioids, then to his Adderall prescription. The mood swings are an understatement. I get glimpses of sobriety but then the cycles continue. It honestly gets pretty exhausting to keep trying to have empathy only to be let down again.

My wife and my focus lately has been setting boundaries. He knows how to manipulate my wife, so I said that we all need to be present when deciding something (eg if he is staying at our house for the weekend). It feels uncomfortable for her, but it has been minimizing the stress. I have learned the valuable lesson of keeping yourself safe and well first. This is basically not possible for my wife to set this boundary with him, so my role has been a lot of reassurance and being consistent.

Another essential lesson we have discovered is to distinctly define roles. We are not therapists and cannot be a detox center. We have literally tried because he talked us into it.

The last recent thing we concluded is that the whole process has to be their decision. No matter how badly we want for him to succeed and how many ways we facilitate that success, if he doesn’t want to do it, he will find any excuse not to follow through. Actions are the only way to measure progress (words and promises aren’t worth much), and he must follow through first.

We love him and truly wish for him to thrive in life. It is heartbreaking to see the lows, but as long as we don’t compromise on our own well-being, we will continue supporting him on his journey to recovery.

How have you all managed? How has addiction affected your life? Personally, I would love nothing more than to see some success stories to encourage others, but I know those are sometimes rare.

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memmy·Memmy - An iOS client for Lemmybyloopy

Feature request: dark and light high contrast themes

I would really like to have high contrast dark and light themes. Something like the Night Owl theme but with secondary colors of neon orange, purple, green, etc. And the light could be beige with dark brown, green, and blue. I couldn’t find pictures of a good example.

I know there is a ton of work going into the actual development of the app functionality, so I understand it may take a while before this is considered, but the accessibility would be nice for people with visual difficultly.

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nostupidquestions·No Stupid Questionsbyloopy

Are Matrix direct messages end-to-end encrypted?

I’m new to using Matrix and currently use Element on iOS as a client. The Matrix specs page notes that there is “optional” end-to-end encryption, but I don’t see an option for that. I’m just wondering if it’s a client limitation for the moment or if it’s enabled by default, and how secure the messaging is.

I would love to learn how it works so I can possibly replace some other group chat apps with friends and family.

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