Spyke

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mtf

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How can I actually get out of the US?

I'll share my story since parts of it may apply to OP.

In 2023 I took a trip oversees to find myself and take a break from the town I was and am living in, which is a relatively conservative pocket of Oregon. I thought I was a cis male at the time, and I was basically a closeted bisexual, which fit the local culture of toxic masculinity rather well. That was when I went back to college in order to finish my degree and hopefully move overseas.

I started seeing myself as more non-binary and was wearing fem clothes and makeup in early 2024. I faced very little harassment in the town and was even complemented on my nails at a grocery store that plays gospel music over the radio. People were surprisingly accepting. I started HRT that summer, then everything went downhill politically. Biden dropped out of the running, a certain fascist called Harris a loser a bunch of times (which I didn't think would be an effective strategy), and I voted Libertarian because I couldn't take any of it seriously. Then the fascist won, and by enough of a margin that I started looking at maps to figure out where I would be safe. From December onwards I've been facing gender-based harassment regularly.

I'm supposed to graduate in 2026. At that point I can move, and I might have to if I need access to medication, income, and the larger queer community. I'm not sure if I've earned refugee status yet, but the rise of fascism is a slow process and I don't know what the future holds for my rights and safety.

Is too late to recommend going to college? At the very least you'll have something to take your mind off of the disaster, and you might meet other queer people, even if they themselves have plans to move.

mtf

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I wish I could be trans again

I'm so sorry, kid. Your story brought tears to my eyes and had a deeper impact than anything I've read in a month. I have some encouraging words fwiw.

  • I had a warehouse job very briefly, and from what I saw it shouldn't significantly alter your body, but it does wear you out.
  • I didn't go back to college until I was 30 and I didn't start HRT until I was 31. I wish I had done those things sooner, but you have time.
  • Redneck assholes usually can't be persuaded, but if you share your story there are bound to be people in your local area who feel for you.

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What fantasy are you still waiting to live out?

A mutually destructive long-term relationship with an aggressively sadistic transwoman who keeps me tied up when I sleep and rapes me multiple times per day, and neither of us have any limits or inhibitions to prevent one from molesting the other at any time, but she dishes out discipline when she deems I deserve it, and the fruits of our love are watered with tears.

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C++

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I've been using C++ almost daily for the past 7 years and I haven't found a use for shared_ptr, unique_ptr, etc. At what point does one stop being a noob?