kriz · Posts | Spyke

onehundredninetysix·196bykriz

Not me.

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116

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Put your family on a subscription plan this Christmas

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359

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Email grandmothers for constant cash flow

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190

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SPLT: You can also put a chip reader on your pocket and casually bump into people.

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620

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Google how to do a different crime every single day. That way if you do commit a crime later in life, your search history won't give you away.

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96

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Do all your criminal planning while swimming. Less chance of wires or electronic surveillance.

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80

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Cover your hands with glue and let it dry. You now have the rough hands of a working man.

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41

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: If you are up too late, move your bed to the western most part of your house or apartment.

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22

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: If you buy a new clock or appliance, wait until noon to plug it in so you don't have to bother setting the time.

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300

science_memes·Science Memesbykriz

Feces is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

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261

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Floss can be rinsed and used again, just like your toothbrush

Stop giving Big Floss your hard earned money. It is almost infinitely rewashable and reusable.

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20

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Glue a dead wasp to your hand to allow you hit your boss as hard as you want.

Stolen from:

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67

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: The name "Super Bowl" is taken, but "Super Plate", "Super Mug", "Super Fork", and "Super Carafe" are all still available to be monetized.

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57

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Instead of making a big mess ripping out each page you have read of a book, just cross each page out with a marker.

Courtesy of : https://www.instagram.com/reel/DC7NvliIEz7/

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92

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: If you struggle to understand the lyrics to a song, most likely it's just about heroin.

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78

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Any cash money given to you when you work a cash register is your money! It was handed over to you! You get to decide how much to keep and how much to give to the business.

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38

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Need some space? You can yell "Get off my property!" from just about anywhere. Few people ever actually check the paperwork to prove it.

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85

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Save your burned out light bulbs. Next time you stay at an AirB&B, switch them out for working ones.

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355

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: It's pretty easy to just follow an Amazon delivery van around and get free packages. Make a quick blue vest if you feel nervous to deflect suspicion.

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88

shittylifeprotips·Shitty Life Pro Tipbykriz

SLPT: Wearing a shirt that says "For entertainment purposes only" in large letters could get you out of legal trouble for your actions

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47