Wearing my team Canada shirt today because the entire country won last night, whether everyone realizes it or not.

This was hilarious for a second then fucking terrifying.

This is what the Americans who support a war with Canada don’t realize.

Yeah on the off chance it gains sentience, I want it to remember me as one of the nice ones.

FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE TRADE UNIONISTS

Shoot all trespassers.

We got 7 Skyrims and 2 Oblivions before GTA 6.

As someone who was raised catholic and went to catholic school, supporting MAGA is the least catholic thing you could do. That being said, Catholics are some of the best hypocrites out there. Spent years teaching me to “love everyone and judge not”, and then I watched them proceed to hate and judge everyone.

Canada here: you can have ours!

Me when I was little: “mom, why are those guys holding hands?”

Mom: “well you know how you like girls? Some boys like boys. Some girls like girls.”

Me: “oh, cool. Mom, why are the street signs here blue but green in the other town?”

I bring up this exchange whenever people say stuff like “but what will the kids think? It will break their brains!”

Now, my mom teaching that to me DID cause some damage, because she forgot to add: “but you go to catholic school, so don’t repeat that or else you’ll get in trouble AND the other kids will bully you and the teachers won’t stop them”. Thankssss mom.

We desperately need more Luigis

Yeah instead of billionaires giving away their wealth to charity, I’d much rather tax them and let the government distribute that money.

Huh. One of 10,000 today.

Sends instagram message to business account

Tammy is insured through Tesla and says her safety score keeps dropping due to so-called “excessive speeding,” even when she’s driving well below the limit.

Lol that explains it all. I was wondering why they all do 55mph in the left lane.

I had a concussion in 2008 and I’m wondering if I didn’t wake up from it and any day now I’ll wake up in spring 2008.

Careful Australia. Our spineless opposition leader is having another MP resign his seat so he can run in a by-election there. The riding he chose voted 80% Tory.

For a minute in Canada we would say “if Obama were Canadian, he’d be the greatest conservative PM we ever had”

So many times I’ve thought fuck it, why don’t I get in on the grifting? Damn conscience getting in the way of potential riches.