Spyke

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in a general sense, how would you feel about people having their pet dog(s) in the workplace?

Hard no for me. People feel way too entitled to bring their dogs everywhere. Your being a pet owner doesn't mean everyone else also has to love and want to be around your dog. I'm afraid of most big dogs and if I had to routinely encounter them at work, I'd be looking for a different job. I'm also very allergic to them and despite taking allergy meds every day, I'd be miserable with dogs in a shared space I couldn't escape.

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Do you need to vent about something?

I'm at a crossroads in life where I need to start making large and impactful decisions about my future. It's a very lonely place to be.

Will my long term relationship last? Do I want it to? Will I try to stay in this (IRL) community? Do I want to? Will I stay in this career path? Can I afford not to?

Etc.

Usually I'd talk to my partner about all this, but because our relationship is also part of my issues, I feel like I can't. So as a result... I'm feeling lonely and overwhelmed.

canada

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[EDITOR'S NOTE] Canadian news is starting to vanish from Instagram. Google is next. Here's how to find CBC as that happens

This is a good reminder of just how much CBC puts out there. I am a little surprised not to see a mention of using alternative search engines like DDG or Bing, as to my knowledge those aren't blocking Canadian news corps. (Please correct me if you know differently!) I guess if the goal is to raise awareness of the content you can get without an intermediary, it makes sense.

I'm very interested to see which parties cave first in this standoff. If nothing else, I'm impressed the Canadian government had the balls to mandate this of American companies.

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No shame

Depressing to see my city make it here. Our provincial government (surprise — conservative!) does not give a fuck about how many people no longer have a place to live. It is incredibly grim.

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What do you swear by?

Mantra:

  • A former coach used to say to us, "If you cut corners in practice, you'll cut corners in games. If you cut corners in games, you'll cut corners in life." It's a good reminder to do things right whenever and wherever you can. Every action you take is training your brain!

Product-wise:

  • I swear by Dorset Cereals' muesli lmao. It is such a small thing but I absolutely love all the flavours and recommend them to everyone I know. If I were a different sort of person, I'd be approaching them for a brand deal, what with all the word-of-mouth advertising I do for them 😂

  • I also swear by my Blundstones. They're great for walking, they always keep my feet dry in my very moist city, and they have lasted me really well so far.

english

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To Oxford Comma or not to Oxford Comma

I much prefer using the Oxford comma because it does eliminate ambiguity in most cases. It also feels more natural to read a list that includes one. Without the final comma, I don't have the reminder to pause in my reading cadence, and I often find it a bit jarring. It doesn't impede understanding, for me, except where the phrasing is already ambiguous. It's just mildly uncomfortable.

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Do you need to vent about something?

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I feel this deep in my bones. Lately I'm watching conditions deteriorate all around me and wondering what rock bottom is going to look like. We're heading there fast and no one with any power to slow the descent gives a single fuck. It's depressing as hell.

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What single item improved the quality of your life over you got it? (Buyed it/got as present/made it)

Blundstones. I live in a coastal city that's wet (but rarely snowy) the vast majority of the year. Having rain-resistant shoes that are comfortable AND durable has been a game changer.

And if I can mention a second: A proper, long raincoat. Combined with good shoes, I'm able to tolerate the weather here much better than when I'd first moved to this city and relied on sneakers + regular jackets.

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What are some of the things you say / think to yourself when going through a hard time or dealing with uncertainty to help yourself along?

Usually something like, "This too shall pass" or "The only constant is change." Reminding myself of the impermanence of every situation makes present difficulties bearable.

What also helps me is the prospect of emerging on the other side of the situation as someone with more experience, more self-understanding, and greater resilience. Those traits are high on my list of personal values.

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Language tests used to determine admissibility into Canada are a 'money-making machine,' critic says | CBC News

Some kind of language assessment is warranted, but it could be implemented differently. Lots of people taking these tests are native speakers or have obtained an education at an English/French-speaking institution. I'd be in favour of either lengthening the test's validity or waiving it for those who can prove English or French proficiency through other experience. The two-year expiry for formal language tests is too restrictive, in my view.

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Who here still wears a mask?

I do when travelling in any capacity (public transit, airplane) and most of the time when I'm in close proximity to a large group of other people (grocery store, crowded indoor event, anywhere with poor ventilation). I am starting to try doing some unmasked social events with a limited number of participants. It was only in June of this year that I started doing this. Prior to that, I masked everywhere all the time, except with my "bubble" of friends.

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Am I just a grudge-holder? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? My GF doesn't seem to be as empathetic as I need her to be.

I think it is worth discussing what "empathetic" means to both of you, as I get the impression that you have differing perspectives. For example, I noticed you said that you listen to her problems and try to find solutions. Some folks find that "problem-solving" behaviour invalidating rather than empathetic, while others actually prefer that approach. It is hard to know which camp your girlfriend falls into without having a frank discussion. I would also consider what behaviours or attitudes she would need to display for it to come across as empathetic to you. Maybe she also feels like she's appropriately listening, even though that's not been your experience. It is hard to pin these things down and have these discussions, but if you can manage it, it will greatly enhance your communication with each other.

Also: don't let it being a tough time become a reason to shelve your feelings. I say this as someone who did that for four years because my partner was always going through some hard time or another. All that bottling up has almost ruined my relationship, so don't be me. But do be tactful and sensitive. Ask her what she needs from you in this tough time, be willing to give what you can, and let her know you feel like you two have some communication issues and you want to be really clear on what's working well and what isn't in your relationship. Give her space to share her feelings, share your own, and then try your best to figure out how to approach the problems as a team.

If therapy is accessible to you and you can find a competent therapist who has a good approach for you, then consider making an appointment. It can be good to talk to a third party about your burnout and feelings of depression (which is what this low motivation sounds like to me). Your gf may not be able to give you the emotional nurturing and assurance that it sounds like you're seeking right now, but you can find tools and help elsewhere too.

Good luck!!