For context: I am un-diagnosed but likely Borderline.

I have a friend (Stephanie) that I met back in late 2017. I started "crushing" on her pretty quickly. Asked her out once. It was declined and I accepted it. A little while later, I wrote an email explaining my feelings and asking again if she'd like to see each other (I am cringing so bad typing this right now...) romantically. (She's 10 years younger than me and completely "out of my league.") She never replied, and I took the hint.

We remained friends, and I started attaching to her as a "Sister." I worked on it and compartmentalized, and eventually I feel like I was able to have a fairly healthy relationship with her and her (now husband) boyfriend. She calls me sister and refers to me as family. But there is a very distinct difference in her relationship with her blood family (as there should be.)

Things were okay until I started having relationship issues in 2020. I had to cut it off with Stephanie in mid 2022, due to not being able to manage (non-romantic) feelings. After a year, (2023) I felt like I was able to reconnect, and we did. My partner and I hit a big snag (Not related to Stephanie as far as I know.) very soon after, that we have yet to reconcile.

During this time, I'd tried to hold on to the relationship with Stephanie, but just over a year ago, (late 2024) I was so toxic to myself and her family, I pulled back again and went no contact.

She texted after a few months, again after a few more, and since October she's been texting me about once a month telling me she misses me, asking me how I am, and asking if I'm ready to talk yet. I want to reply every time, but I haven't yet...

I wrote this out with no intention to send it, but I think I actually got my thoughts out in a clean concise (not creepy) way.

Should I send it?

Ask me anything.

I want you to know that while I'm still struggling, I'm doing okay. I've missed you a lot, too, I just don't know if I can handle this relationship right now.

It's kind of hard to explain... I've mentioned this before, but due to my likely borderline personality; I formed an unhealthy attachment to you. Normally I can compartmentalize it and everything is okay, but right now with the issues I'm having with Emma it's very hard to maintain the compartmentalization and I start to create these stories in my head... I don't believe them, because I know it's an escape, but I don't -not- believe them.

It's not romantic, but it's not completely platonic either? It's kind of confusing... I just want to be someone important to you. Like Family-family important. I'm not, and I promise that is 1000% okay. I've just told myself the stories for so long, and let myself half-believe in them so much that right now it's really hard to accept reality.

I'm trying to get my life together, but if things don't change with Emma, I can't keep living with her. I might have to start over, and it would likely be in Michigan with my mom. I'll reach out when I can, I promise.

I'm sorry... I hope you understand.

~GVA

5 years ago, I was cheated on.

We have 4 children (1 adult). To this day, I can't be intimate with her. I'm still mad. She's still friends with him.

Yeah, I know - divorce. I know that not divorcing her is teaching my kids how a bad relationship works, but I want both of us present for them.

How do I get... not freedom, but solitude, while still being present for my kids?

I (20m) have a friend G, (19f) who I met at my college some months ago. she is very nice and kind and we both have a similar belief of things current so we mostly talk when we can on the phone or at school with plans to meet up after school is over. recently while I was cooking with my brother I mentioned I wanted to take an egg roll or two for G to try since I know that she likes Chinese food almost as much as me. my brother asks me "what has G done for you? has she brought you food?" this made me doubt everything. I've shared my food with her at lunch two times both times she liked it and mentioned she wanted to come to my house to eat. I don't know about her home situation or anything like that I do know she works at a pizza hut and makes money for school that way but other than that and that her sister likes makeup I don't know anything. I am having doubts about if I'm doing too much for someone I met not too long ago and that my efforts aren't being resciporated. I've always been raised to pay back what you are given "someone gives you 20$ you give them 30$ next week, if you can't do that don't take the money" sort of mentality. Can I get your thoughts and opinions since you guys are strangers and can approach it objectively? thanks to anyone who weighs in your opinions and thoughts are welcome.

I (20M) am currently interested in a girl named G,19F, who goes to the same college as me, we hit it off rather well and I'm trying to get to know her more. however recently she became buddies with someone I know, R(don't know his age), he is someone who I admittedly don't know too well but I can tell he wants G. he managed to get her number and the two are talking a lot and he's taking her to get food between classes. I just found this out not too long ago and I don't know what to do. I don't have a car, I don't know how to drive, I am broke constantly due to loaning out money to my family for one reason or another. I simply can't compete and it hurts too much, I can't stop thinking of the two of them together. and how much better R is than me. I'm thinking about cutting G off because of this, i feel some unhealthy amounts of aggression towards both of them and i can tell my jealousy will grow from here.

Create a new topic or use this one. :)