I rarely answer calls from known numbers

Hello Potion Seller. I'm going into battle, and I want your strongest potions.

But you've forgotten the most important rule of porn: you can slap a "step" label onto anything. So now it's, "my friend's 'step' mom," meaning they aren't bound to actual motherhood age.

All existence is awful, but if you were a vampire you would get to wear a neat cape

As a classification I think I would call it a Monarchic Oligarchy, or maybe a Cyclical Monarchic Oligarchy, but maybe as a more common term I would say something like the Council of Monarchy or something along those lines.

When you're referring to selling something it's spelled hocking.

Edit: Turns out I was mistaken, Hawking is indeed the correct term for this.

Unfortunately I don't believe she does, the closest thing I could find was “Principles are like prayers. Noble of course. But awkward at a party.”

I prefer "pets of the flesh"

I believe they're called LipSlitters

In Castro's case it would be, "Being a paid actor sent by the CIA to assassinate a head of state hits different when you fall in love with your target."

"Trick question, dickhead, Lemmy is God."

Become the poop

After that he will attempt to touch fire

DeVito on DeBurrito

"All ants are British 'cuz they colonize" -Dan Cummins

A lot of mine have already been listed here, but the one I don't see yet is Red Dwarf, such a great show no matter how many times I see it.

"I am on nobody's side because nobody is on my side"

Oh damn I had never heard of the other term before, my bad.

I loved the game Tomba! 2 The Evil Swine Return, it was creative, intricate, and very far ahead of its time, I would love to see the series get a reboot or a remaster

When this guy?