Sooooo. I've been circling this for a little. I love a good quadrant of the people I have met on here. You've had such wonderful energy and have just been some real dope ass folks. Some I don't know how to explain it. The meat of the being that I absolutely love about humans. That zhing, the soulful bits you know? But I intentionally took a fat step back from the internet as a whole because I actually dislike the way it's gone. I think we're using it as a dick rag so to speak, and taking all our frustrations and throwing them around like shit. I equally dislike what I considering bullying, which basically means sitting around and laughing at someone. As I know we've all been there, but at the end of the day I don't think promoting it in any form is really doing anything but helping it spread as a form of communication as a whole.

Reason why I am writing this? Made some love art, made some cool convos - and have overall been having a solid time. Personally don't like weed, apparently can't express that online. But that's also part of the issue. See, I get that life can't be one single way. I think all of us know that. Hell there's enough variety between all of us alone to get that. But I also don't think that there really is anywhere online currently that offers people to have multiple opinions (which is what they are) and not be seen as some kind of "flame war" or something. Which has never been my intention. I just want to express myself, because I am a human being and this is a space to do that.

But that's all to say, that when I found this PieFed I really though that I finally found a place which promoted conversation, thought, and gave you the occasional interesting tidbit or cool jam. But it seems that I was wrong, it feels more like I have entered the echo chamber that I have always sort of stood against but equally - have felt absolutely uncomfortable around as a whole. Not to add the hippie-dippie beliefs of people's energy sticking to your being like might or muck. And while I do not prescribe to toxic positivity, I think a little effort is due to one another (as a whole) because we're in dire times and we need to uplift one another or sink as a group.

But eh, this is all to say that I have been rapidly dabbling with the idea of deleting my account. Just sort of leaving the system and going back to my relatively quite life. It makes me sad in a way though, because I have had so much fun talking with you guys. As a whole, I mean I think you guys are just stellar. And it bums me out. But I also think, there's really no point in keeping something that I have seen things I expressly dislike (I suppose habits is how I'll express it). But equally, if I were being honest - and this is going to sound...heterophobic/racist I guess? I don't go out of my way to talk with white people and I don't go out of my way to talk with straight folks and I think the general consensus is that the internet is probably majority white and heterosexual. Which might be why I myself am not totally "feeling it" in the first place. But also just being a weirdo you never really have any place in life - you just don't. No matter how hard you try, you always stick out like a sore thumb. That's the reality of the matter.

And I apologize if I have rubbed some the wrong way in posting this, but could someone ultimately give me some...guidance on the matter? Or just tell my ass to press the delete button. Cause like I said, I've met some fine folk on here, but damned if there aren't some real pecker woods that remind me of why I don't really "do" the internet as a whole.

Eh, end rant. Halp?

I've been taking a "mental break" from horror on account of some personal jim-jam. But little bits keep floating up here and there. And one that keeps floating to the surface over and over again is Titane. On account of it being one of the most surreal flicks I think I've ever seen. Just really out there, and I remember watching it. Turning back around, and giving it a second go right then and there because it was just absolutely flabbergasting. So in my current state - can someone please tell me that it wasn't all just a fever dream and that Titane is absolutely 100% real and fucking phenomenally weird =P!?

(*Another one that pops up from time to time is Fresh because it's freakin' hilarious. I mean it's not like - THEEE horror movie but hot damn is the ending where everyone is hobbling around in the dark when the tables turn freakin' hilarious =P!)

I have such complicated feelings surrounding this movie. Because it is profoundly emotional and quite beautiful, yet absolutely is tarnished by it's Cosby-esq level of creepiness. Yet in a vacuum, I think it would be my favorite. As for sure, it is one of the most beautiful tear inducing movies I have ever seen. Yet it is absolutely without a reason of a doubt a product of actual human misery.

Lars von Trier makes some of what I'd consider my favorite fucked up movies. I haven't seen the lot of them but I fell into The House that Jack Built and I think it might be one of my favorite horror movies if I were going from experience. Melancholia I have seen first hand at the hands of an unmedicated friend who teeters between functional and despondent like a yoyo. Either superhuman, or absolutely swamped by life. He pushes me as an individual to ask - what content can I enjoy when coming from the minds of "the problem." When sitting with the idea of toxic masculinity.

I will say that I believe his nazi comment was blown out of proportion. In that I don't believe he was trying to say that he believed in what nazis believe in. But more so I think he was trying to put his head into a place to understand how one could become a nazi, especially being expressly from that lineage. I think it's like individuals who try to understand the darker things in the world, like the root of addiction or what drives warlords. I have seen individuals (like black-ass people) read mein kampf and walk away with sympathy for hitler. And I think that might have been what he was playing at, but off the cuff he could not express it. Unless I am wrong, in which case outright nazis bad.

But yeah, von Trier makes me have a solid think, as well as Michael Jackson. Am I supporting evil in partaking in the media of men who create issues? But I also think often, almost every woman I have ever met has been assaulted in some way, and that perpetrators of evil far extend past the media.

Eh. This whole thing is a shit-show garbled mind-spat. Just enjoy the song if you're into it. There's one with Thom Yorke out there as well. Which is actually how I originally heard it on a college radio station a hundred years ago.

Hey there folks, on the phone with my fantabulous mother - and she just said "I wish I could find that game. That one with the monkeys. Where you had a business, and you sold bananas. And the monkey was in a suit..."

*She also adds the bananas were called "nanas" and you had to go to "The little houses which were the suppliers"

Honestly, I have no clue what this game is. Sounds like a simulation game. I thought it was that old black and white pixelated game from Mac - but I sure as HEY can't remember what game that is. But I feel like someone on here might know what it is. So if anyone knows about this magical monkey mac pixel game can someone give me the 411? Thank you!

*Was my grandmother's Mac - and we played it ~92-93. The disks were stored in a little white clamshell, and we think maybe it could have been shareware. No sure though. Ho-no!

*Down the rabbit hole I found it's from a Macintosh 128K, still trying to find it.

*The saga continues. My mother and I searched for a large quantity of time before we realized it was more than likely shareware and in turn might be so obscure that it might be too difficult to find. But I did find two things. Internet Archives has various [vintage mac](https://archive.org/search?query=Vintage Apple Macintosh Shareware Games ) games all alphabetized. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anything "banana, "nana," or "monkey" related in there. (Well actually Monkey solitaire and one other game, but neither were the ones). I also found another pretty cool site with lists of games. Which I might paw through, cause I love to make my mama happy. So eh! If anyone has any idea what this might be - feel free to toss it my way, even in a message. Thank you!

*Heads up, we've got some flashing here!

I had this kicking around my brain bin, so I'm just gunna put there here.

Hey there! Tell us what you like! Share your interests, you might find some other buddies who share interests with you. Either way, think of this as sort of a show and tell. Share as much as you'd like. Feel free to show/link some examples if you'd like. Let's have fun with it =)!

We talked stuff that works you up, how about things that you do to calm down? What techniques, activities, mantras, stims, etc. do you do to keep yourself comfortable and safe? Feel free to share what you'd like - and something kinda cool is that you might end up helping someone else down the line.

Are you radically different than your younger self? Are there key elements that have stayed the same? Most parts? Do you feel as if you've followed the "roadmap of life" or forged your own path? Have there been "chapters" or do things all sort of slide into one contiguous flow? Share what you'd like!

Okay, this is like a tech support kinda question but idk where the hell to ask it so I am gunna ask it here. My old keyboard died a couple of days ago. Just gave up the ghost, and I cursed the gods and got out my bluetooth keyboard. I had been using my lappy exclusively (so not using an external keyboard) but hooked it up to my monitor and started jamming away on the bigger screen. It's further away from my face, so I sometimes miss typos (or just can't spell and fk auto-correct). But I have also been noticing letters flipping from time to time at random. Just having a blast. I've got a real stream of conciousness way of thinking/typing/talking/existing - yada, yada! So I am not catching this stuff until later and tsk, tsking and going back and fixing it. Now I am wondering if I am experiencing rampant levels of dyslexia or if others know about some weird latancy issues with bluetooth keyboards where someone could type faster than the output so stuff gets jumbled? Cause idk, but like...hell idk. Doesn't hurt to ask?

So yeah, anyone know about this. Either way, not crying over it. Cause what am I gunna do? Keyboard does what it needs to...so yeah. Just find it weird, but maybe also I am typing WHOLE FREAKIN' NOVELS for every comment so shit gets messed up more. Eh.

To those of you with sensory issues (I believe this is pretty common, right?) have you noticed them changing as you grow older? Have they gotten easier to handle, harder, or stayed the same? In fact, if you feel like "going there" and sharing - please feel free to even express what they feel like.

No need to share what they are, if you don't feel like it. Share what you'd like.

Cause sometimes you need to start your Saturdays with that good, good chaotic energy =)

Heads up there is for sure some flashing up in here, also if you've got a problem with cgi boobies I guess you gunna have to go somewhere else.

Figured while I posted one of my favorites, I would also post my absolute favorite audiobook. I really like "soft horror" and Hill house is suuuppppeerrrrrr influential to the greater horror sphere. It's had a buh-jillion iterations, and I am not sure if any of them were bad (although some people will probably fight me on The Haunting). But the audiobook, I have listened to about 750xs. Because this narrorator has a very unique voice, a clear background in acting, and can transform her essence left and right in zero seconds flat. Very animated! I originally listened to this on Libby as well, but later grabbed it here because I wanted to make sure I could carry it with me. This is also a great read, listen, watch - tale you can absorb through osmosis. However you get it, ti's a great get.

Nobody here =(

Well, if anyone does come here, consider giving a listen to The Parable of the Sower. It's hands down one of my favorite audiobooks. It's written by Octavia Butler and narrorated by Lynne Thigpen. I don't always dig audiobooks, because too many Feel empty or like white noise to me. Or there is this nagging feeling that I would not want to listen to the narrorator reading anything, let alone x-book. But this one was wonderful, and I think it's in part because the source material is good and the narrorator was very talented and has a very unique voice. I grabbed it here, but originally listened ot it on Libby. If you're interested I'd say both books (The Parable of the Talents) are wonderful to read/listen to - absorb through osmosis. All of the above. So give them a go if you'd like.

Another great music video, that is locked behind an age filter. Perhaps my favorite animated one, it's just so real. The last person I sent it to said that it almost had them in tears. It's a great one if you've got the time. It speaks levels on how we can grow, but if we don't heal the initial wound we are doomed to fail.

Great music video, goes with the song well. It's a love letter to human sexality in all its types and forms. Check if out if you're interested. If you're not, either way song is great.

I think this is my favorite Pop'n Music song. I've carried it with me for years. I love the lyrics, they're so freakin' cute. I don't usually like the princess narrative, but it works so well here.

I think you decide it, when I keep my love to be best.
Now I wonder how you slipped away from me.
Make me run always how my loves fade into blue.
That's immobility all-time, all-place, somewhere.

In fact, I was understanding that you know how to rescue me with such your touch.
But it should be a dream made real, so I'm going to become trouble my uneasiness.

It was a dream you knew how to rescue me.
I know You know

Has someone or something stolen from you? Do you know who/what it was? Did it affect you? Do you care?

Doesn't have to be serious.

Share your stories!

For better or worse. Small scale or large. Personal or shared. What is an event you've experienced that changed the way you act, live, feel, etc. It could be short-term or long. Share what you feel comfortable with. Triumphs and tragedies alike.

My favorite Beatmani song. I can't play any rhythm games, but someone I love plays them like they've got seven hands. If you wanna watch the Pop'n Music one: here

If anyone knows of other seemingly classical Japanese Prog-rock pass it here. because I FREAKIN' love this song. Its style is just wild.

p.s. - Here's the "clean" version without any tippies, tappies or UI - but I really think this song is best experienced with that beautiful series of illustrations: click-y

**** Warning: Flashing lights/LOUD shout at the beginning.

If you were here for this, if you saw this live - fuck you! But only in jest. But also, fuck you! If anyone did see this, I bet you it was probably one of the most amazing concerts ever held. So yeah. it is what it is, but if something is toe curling good and it's recorded you've got to know it was otherworldly in person.