A friend of mine thinks that dark matter is deliberate veil over most of the universe, where all the other lifeforms are having a great party to which we're not invited until we figure out the dress-code, and learn to dance the 5D Time Warp.
I think that dark matter is the detritus of that party, and our species has come across it at the fag-end, when there's only a few tinnies in the cooler, and some half bottles of wine that would be okay if you fish the cigarette butts out, but the music's still on the go, and the sun ain't up yet.
Which of us is right? (There's a bottle of Bell's riding on this.)

If a post falls on shittyaskscience and no-one replies, is the OP unsound?