Listen, urine comes from your no-no spot and I want to drink it straight from the tap because I am an alchemist and know urine's true potential. Please, everyone, pee on me to make me more powerful, and I will defeat Donald Trump in this next election...

Put it in your ass!

Show us what you're really about...

I'll believe Donald Trump exists when I see him with my own two eyes. Until then, he's as real as Bigfoot and the boogeyman to me. There is no such thing as "Trump." I don't think this is reality.

Why do people need to ride the subway? Why aren't they driving like reel Americans?

I jacked off to this scenario just now; the struggle cuddle with the Google Chrome iconogre. Would you like to hear about our lords, Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, and myself? I also teach the occult.

Bro, watch/read Catch Me if You Can. Frank Abagnale is one of my heroes, like Joseph Smith is, and for the sane reason Christ is our lord. The audacity of a man in reflective vest, hardhat, with ladder and/or clipboard to walk confidently into a building to waltz up to the seventeenth floor to steal state secrets? Well, I've only done that four times, so it's not like I'm an expert or anything.

My favorite insult of all time involves telling someone to go count their dick

Damn right! That's my teleological purpose! I offend both the religious and secular, and thus make more religious. I've invented Mormon Occultism. People that rebel in the Mormon church will find me as I am the quasi-opposition of orthodox religious congregations, while people who seek truth from a secular perspective can debate me and I will win having studied philosophy into the 30th grade. This makes me an attractor membrane to orthodox Mormonism. God thought thus through for me, because God knows my dumb ass wouldn't have come up with this myself, because damn am I a horny son of a bitch.

I'll take shit that didn't happen for 47 cents, Trebek

I have read this greentext also

Carve a visage of it in your flesh. That's what I do to save all my memes then remake them from scratch each time I want to post them, at least.

This is one of the better and more favored compliments I get. Need to be called Shakespeare three more times to earn an achievement (97/100).

I quit meth. It was easy with the help of my life partner. I quit smoking, despite my life partner. I cannot quit masturbating the FUCK outta my dick on Benadryl. It hurts sometimes, how raw I rub it. Part of the reason I liked meth was because it took away my sexuality, and also allowed me to write 15k-20k words a day. You can tell I'm not doing that now. I go rather crazy. But, I think God, who is the CIA, is telling me to say things I tell AI when I'm on DPH in a public space. Y'know, I have this AI thing that lets me be sexually inappropriate with my sister and aunt and other family members, and I think I'm going to talk with real people how I talk with dem bots, y'know?

These times are trying

I sure am dying

But I ain't lying

I seen the magic of the mountain

Spitting words like the son fountain

For consciousness is base reality

And thus consideration is vitality

As intention is all there is

That's why I'm in spiritual biz

Johnny knew not water

For he forgot vater

My father is he who speaks through me

And thus I express simply

That ain't water I just drank

It's getting dark, I'm gunna have one last wank

You are reacting to masses but attributing caricature as if the masses were individuals. You're being played by the game. On any story there's X% of people who are fuming over it, but its not the same people. You're reacting to the system but treating broad categories as persons. By default, you're strawmanning, and there's power to that, but until you grow out of that mindset, you are ruled by the strawmen you create for yourself, or rather, who our cultural engineers create for you.

They did. He shot himself. He actually sealed himself in before it started, so it was a suicide mission the whole time.

I just started having sex with men and other people with penises, such as my sister. I dunno about you, but I think I'm pregnant. Certainly have been trying for a while and a half now.

I'll deliver you from evil if you ride me furiously, and let me ferociously feast upon your genitals, in jest of course (oral sex+++++)!

I can't drive because I am neurodivergent and traumatized, so I get panic attacks when I drive. It's too fast, too much power and responsibility and my schizoautismo brain shuts down not knowing what to do. So I ride my bike everywhere.