Spyke
trans_joy·Trans JoybyKayday

"Oh, I didn't know you are a trans woman"

We started a new gaming table a few months ago. One of the players is my partner's coworker, so he and I knew of each other but hadn't met until we started playing.

I GM for the group, so for months he's been showing up to listen to me yap and has certainly gotten a good look at me.

We were messaging about something the other day and I made a passing remark about "not being out" somewhere.
Him: "wait, what do you mean by out?"
Me: "I mean they don't know I'm a trans woman."
Him: "Oh, I didn't know you are a trans woman."

That's it, I can die happy.

View original on lemmy.world
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Comments8
femtek
lemmy.blahaj.zone

It still shocks me when it happens 4 years out. I remember being on a plan and a guy saying I had big hands for a woman and I got worried as we had already sat down. Then he said I must have been amazing at basketball. I said I could get rebounds easy and pass but dribbling was a weak point but I was good at soccer and track.

33
dangling_cat
piefed.blahaj.zone

Meanwhile, I’m being misgendered by my nurse and being told they can’t do the paperwork I requested. :(

18
Amy
piefed.blahaj.zone

That's great! Good for you <3

But I can tell you what would have run through my brain:

Wow, sounds like I pass! But wait, that's what she wants me to think! Which means she must have clocked me ages ago, and knew all this time! Oh, how hideously embarrassing! And she didn't let me know she'd clocked me, either. Wow, it must be really obvious. And clearly she's pretending that she didn't know to protect my feelings. Oh, why can't I be that considerate? I'm just a piece of human garbage.

But wait. If she was pretending not to have realized so well that I didn't know she knew, then she must realize that I'm trying to present as a woman and is accommodating that. Does it really matter, then, whether she's guessed my assigned gender or not, so long as she treats me as a woman? OF COURSE IT DOES! Because she must be secretly disgusted with me.

Oh no! That means everyone I've ever met is doing exactly the same thing: treating me as a woman while secretly knowing the truth! Ahhh!

No, no, calm down. Remember, not everyone is that nice. OK, so it's possible that some people have clocked you and are being nice, but Occam's razor would have it that they just think you're a woman.

Phew, glad that's sorted. WAIT! I need to reply. I've just been staring into space like a lunatic. Say something! No, wait, that was a compliment, wasn't it? Smile first. Okay, ready? Face muscles engaged... not too much... look at her eyes...

"Uh, thanks."

You ruined it! Nice job, asshole.

9
Kaydayreply
lemmy.world

Scary how well you were able to transcribe my exact thoughts 😭

6

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"Oh, I didn't know you are a trans woman" | Spyke