"Necrophilia: crackin' open a cold one!"

"Something something sure beats fighting guys with a Slaanesh slide."

Yeah. Uncanny Noodle Valley.

Coffee isn't ready yet, so I'm basing this entirely on the blurb:

A day earlier, the House of Representatives approved the 21st Century Road to Housing Act, which is intended to lower rents and home prices by reducing federal regulations,

That sounds bad.

streamlining environmental reviews,

That definitely sounds worse.

speeding up the construction process

More bad.

and curbing the influence of corporate landlords by limiting their ability to purchase single-family homes.

That last one sounds like it's a good thing, until you take a second to consider the source. Most likely it aids his buddies somehow.

Do we really want this signed?

Go suck off AIPAC, you fucking collaborator.

Do the fish jizz scene, ya chickens!

I wish. Their president seemed to actually give a fuck about his fellow Americans.

Yeah! All those alcoholic children at St John's just need to kick the habit, those worthless fuckin' lushes!

"He's not going to hurt the poor. He's too smart for that."

Oh, you infuriating fucking summer child. It'd be hilarious if I wasn't stuck in this hellbound handbasket with the rest of you fucking mongoloids.

Normally, tone is hard to convey through text, but that "Honey No" is doing just splendid.

The officers, whose names have not been released, were placed on administrative leave.

Anonymity and a paid vacation for a lead amputation of a neurodivergent teen. And then they add insult to injury by posting up fucking snipers. I can't say anything else that won't get me a ban...

In your daily, unending cavalcade of shit, here is one story that isn't absolutely horrific, i guess.

Roberts is a fucking traitor that opened the floodgates for this shit, and now he has buyers remorse?!? That's what happens when you buy a Tesla. This? This isn't buyers remorse.

I hope he dies of measles.

"Spaghetti and sauce is a Nintendo trademark. You'll be hearing from out lawyers presently."

Are you turning? Then use your TURN INDICATOR!!1! Does the opposing flow of traffic know you're in a turning only lane? No.

Fuck Grandpa. How do you think Grandpa's dad, who most likely fought the fucking Nazis, would feel about Grandpa fellating the fucking fascists? Hmm?

"No motive" is gonna get worn out in the coming weeks. The lesbian teen in Illinois; Jonathan Joss; this? All completely random.

A few years ago, i was working in an entertainment company. One of the audio guys was called 'Racist Dave,' like he would introduce himself as such to clients.

One day, he heard a coworker talking to his kid on the phone in Spanish. This was in LA, so that's obviously completely unheard of. Dave decided to go on a 10 minute rant about how we're in MURIKKKA AND WE ALL GOTTA SPEAK MURIKKKAN! I took offense to this, and so whenever he'd go out to the taco truck at lunch, I'd follow him and loudly ask him what the "MURRIKKKAN" word for "burrito" or "taco" was. If also all him to kindly use the "MURIKKKAN" names for all the cities we were operating in: "it's not 'Los Angeles,' it's The Angels, Dave! It's not 'San Diego,' it's Whales Vagina, DAVE!"

He quit ordering from the taco truck after two days.

Fuck you, Dave.

"Due to repeated login failures, this account has been locked. Please try again in 96 hours."

To spoon, ice cream is just hard soup.