Haha I always thought that people running mensa are the real geniuses for basically selling self-esteem

Haha i'm glad we're known for that in the eu

Mine too. Incest is mostly built on abusive power structures, not the fairytales you picture...

I need to rewatch derry girls so hard

Yeah and his government lasted 13h

Don't take that the wrong way, but I feel like that too when it's a bit bloated and it may happen when i wake up lmao

Oh yeah basically all senses became more intense.

Started HRT but i feel so, so scared of what i'm doing. Am i doing this for the right reasons ? Will I be capable of being a woman ? Of transitioning ? Will I regret it ? I get so much doubts lately, it's making me panic repeatedly... Life is hard right now

Y E S

Yup, i am very scent perceptive and I find it to be essential to an identity so I like having a peculiar perfume that people will remember me buy (although i could not buy one until recently)

My current one is a fairly androgynous scent, with amber and salty notes.

What

It was ok, i just feel I'm not making much progress on my questionning like previous weeks. At times I feel like my transition is miles away, or like a fantasy. But I imagine myself as a girl and i feel strong gender euphoria so... I guess i'm making steps in the right direction. I just don't know what to do next.

I ordered makeup on amazon tho, can't wait to try it

A Star Slop adventure

Soo I think my questioning phase is kinda over ! I think I'm fully accepting my identity as trans woman, just following the euphoria where it leads me !

I just can't wait to try girl clothes, I will order them next month and will spend more time with a queer friend so she can teach me makeup. The look I'm going for is kinda "casual goth", like doc martens, black dress/metal tshirt with a skirt and a few (seemingly) golden jewelry. I already have tatoos lmao. But I don't know if that'll be a good look, I'll see !

My first experience with a sport bra was kinda meh. It was complicated to put on and doesn't really do anything for me in terms of dysphoria/euphoria. I guess that may come with girl clothes and makeup to "complete the look". As opposed to mascara, nail polish and blue lenses (for some reason !). But the nail polish... oh god what a catastrophy. I'm all shaky and putting polish all over my fingers. And sadly, I'm completely incapable of using my blue lenses which really help with my dysphoria.

I'm training my voice too and try to speak with a softer voice with my roomates (which are accepting and very cool). I'm not comfortable with using the full-on girl voice without a woman outfit though, just shy and dysphoric I guess.

BUT, in other news, CW: bad family

My brother called me for help because he just couldn't stomach my father's behavior anymore. I always thought I was crazy, like other "adults" told me when I complained. But having my little brother describing exactly how I felt for years was a wake up call and I had to get him out of here. So, I spent the weekend helping him, reassuring him, helping him find an appartment (which I will pay for so he can be independant from my parents). This all culminated with a call to my aunt because we both were like "are we crazy ? are we just making it all up ? Are we just ungrateful children ?" and we needed an ally in the family. Thankfully she was 100% on our side and he will live at her house while searching for an appartment.

Now I can finally disappear from this family, which is actually a relief and means I can go through the transition process with more peace of mind. I just blocked my father and will hope my mom gets out of there. But as my aunt said "just forget about it all, live your life". So, I will. My steps are a bit shaky for now though. My determination will come back in time.

Ooof sorry I needed to vent and put that all in writing. How's my week been ? Intense.

Thanks ! That's reassuring. I thought that after feelings the hormonal effects I would be more set in my decision

All old dudes lmao

Stay safe, don't forget to give news to us ! And reach out for support

Don't forget that guy is about to revive the yellow vest in a few weeks with his very violent and quasi-aristicratic budget. So he knows about dark days

Hey ! Haven't posted in some time here... last time it was about my fear of regretting transitioning and being sure of who I am. I'm pretty sure now, I have been on hormones for like 6-7months (since september), I love the changes to my body, my mood, my mind... But, I went out "as fem" to see if I could stomach being "full time" as they said.

::: spoiler

And the looks. They're just so violent. Once the streets I pass are a bit crowded, and people feel authorized to be assholes, and I am not with my friends, the looks are... just wearing me down. I know I don't pass 100% but they make me feel like a monster. They are looks meant to pierce me from end to end and overspill the uneasiness they have unto me. :::

So here I am, having worked on my wardrobe, doing hours of voice training, having learned for hours how to do my make up... only for it to feel so so small, to be worth nothing. And I was wondering, honestly, does it get better... ? I feel kinda low at the moment :/

Or both !