she had been flagged after she indicated that she was not a U.S. citizen in response to a jury summons

She claimed non-citizenship as a way to get out of jury duty???? Bwahahahaahaha! This just keeps getting better.

I simultaneously do and do not want to see the trolly problem diagram in that courtroom.

A lot of scientists sample the wares. It had to be explicitly banned at my workplace. "Organoleptic testing" was how they put it. There were several incidents, but the one with polyols was extra. (Sugar-free gummi bears will give you the gist of it. Link below) They just get bored and stupid. They'll check the LD50 (if known), then go to town if it's tasty enough.

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazonreviews/comments/11otwx0/the_horror_that_is_haribo_sugarfree_gummi_bears/

Ouch. "This place is a shit show," the judge said. (Not really, just fixed it for him).

This has been a program for awhile now, so I guess it's just being marketed in a new way.

The upside is that you get a free house. The downside is that it's basically an abandoned structure in an isolated village. The repairs will be (generally speaking) beyond the DIY capabilities of most North Americans. Drywall? That's easy. Stone and plaster? Not so much.

Plumbing? FML - I'm going to try to say this nicely, but I've found that most post-war era Italian plumbing can be described as "non-standard," "inventive," or "surprising." Sorpresa, bitches.

The repairs are the initial problem. The lifestyle may be another. These homes are in rural, isolated villages. It may seen charming, but not many amenities nearby. And because most young people have left these villages, you may not be able to communicate with your neighbors. And because you don't understand the local language, customs, and norms, they may actively dislike you.

I was getting a ride home from work with a colleague, which was nice of her because I usually took the bus. We had been friendly for some time, and I never understood why other people at work were creeped out by her. Sure, she could be cold and a bit intimidating in a stereotypical "immigrant from former eastern bloc country" sort of way.

I would compare her to a pretty, young, athletic and blonde Frau Verbissene. And she was not afraid to be comedically cutting. For example, one day I was mindlessly trying (and failing) to unscrew something and she walked up behind me and dryly said, "I am not native to North America, but in Europe we turn it to the left to loosen bolts." It's a little bit mean, but also funny.

But to the main point, it was that car ride when I found out she was a Nazi. OK - Maybe not an actual Nazi, but a big fan. She explained that in her country, <I'm paraphrasing this next bit, so her words> they had asked the Jews to leave, had tried to incentivize the Jews to leave, but the Jews would not leave. When the Germans came to her country, they fixed that problem.

"Oh. Shit. I'm carpooling with a Nazi."

If you watch enough old scifi and adventure movies, you'll learn to welcome the "so that's where Lucas took that idea from" feeling as an old friend. He lifted a lot.

Yeah - I remember reading about how these signs were laughably easy to "hack" a few years ago.

I thought about it for minute when the city installed one down the street. Then I imagined the weird shame I'd feel when my neighbors inevitably caught me, so never tried it out. Actually, in retrospect, they'd probably have helped.

Wasn't Mitt the dude with the lady binders?

Ah - my depression era grandparents never threw things away. One reason: they could re-use the object if it were durable enough. And they did.

By the '80s (maybe earlier?) they were complaining about the culture of trash. Their survival instincts were telling them to save and re-use. Their shiny new culture was telling them to throw that shit away.

I won't link it, but an image can be found easily. Right now I'm looking at a New Era Potato Chip canister that lives in my office. (It's weird - seriously, google it. "Feast Without Fear.") It's still good for storing things.

7:07am. Milan.

I'm woken by two texts from my coworker. "Thought we were meeting in the lobby at 7:00. Heading to the train station."

The train leaves at 7:20. "Well I can't...." or can I?

Clothes on. Glasses on. All toiletries swept into purse. I run like hell.

There's a pedestrian underpass, but I Frogger across the road and through the square. I'm in the station with a minute to spare and I'm still somehow running. My shoes are shabby Converse and the floor is polished marble. And I'm 45.

Things are going as ok as any of that can be until I have that out of body moment when I know my foot to forward motion ratio is incompatible with staying upright.

I lunged into the fall, made an extremely satisfying "splat" sound, and skidded several horizontal meters on the marble floor. Two or more nicely dressed Italians look at me in horror, but I'm not physically hurt. Big smile. I thought about Mary Catherine Gallagher-ing it with a victory pose, but just got up and kept running.

Made the train as it was pulling out, brushed hair/teeth once i caught my breath. Moved to the correct train car at the next stop, and met up with my colleague.

We had a nice day trip and the waiter was horrified at how much wine we drank at lunch.

Even just through personal experience - I drove more than 1200 miles through the US midwest this summer. Corn country.

30 years ago I would have needed to squeegee my windshield at every gas station. This year I think I hit one bug large enough to even notice it.

My yard is mostly clover and similar ground cover, but I think my patch of lawn may be having less of an impact than industrial agriculture.

The kid is 18. Were y'all assuming he was older for some reason?

Is that the penis worm that I learned about today?

Urgh - It's like when you have 40 legitimate reasons for disliking your own mother and your friend criticizes her for her cooking. "Actually, she has been nothing but kind to YOU, and one of the only good traits is her cooking. STFU bitch"

It's a weird feeling.

They're keeping you safe!

Oh, my parents take the prize.

To pick just one thing, I remember a disagreement about how to re-arrange the furniture my bedroom. I remember saying (and with regret as the words were leaving my mouth), "well, it is my room." Instant shitshow. She announced that since she wasn't needed she would be Running Away From Home.

Even at 5 or 6, I knew that this was the stupidest thing ever, but that she also wouldn't back down unless I cried and chased her and begged her to stay. She got out the front door and slowly walked towards the street, stopping every few feet to look back. She had nowhere to go, obviously. If this were going to be a battle of wills, I held all the cards. I was also six. If I had been 16, I might have thought to lock the front door behind her. In any case, even at that age I knew that if I somehow won this, things could only get worse.

Yeah, I whipped up some tears and ran after her. But she never tried that one again and I like to think that it was because she got all the way to the street before she got her intended outcome.

That would be ideal. I've also seen a few with weirdly discrete foot pedals. I like that idea, although the ones I've encountered haven't exactly nailed the design.

In 1996, the answer to that question was, "yes - of course." I did it when I needed to fly 1000 miles on short notice to see my grandfather buried. I think it was the same in 2001 when my gran passed.

I'm honestly not sure what the answer is today. As a frequent and cynical flyer in 2024, I'm not so sure that's still a policy. A call to customer service might get you a cheap seat, but it's rare to find a flight that isn't completely booked. (Algorithms seem to have solved the airlines' empty seat problem)

We don't even have a photo of this dry sandwich? My curiosity demands it