I meet this girl and we have been talking for about 2 week and things were going really well. We were vibing and making plans for meeting up on a date. We decide to do a video call and it went well, we talked for a while and it was fun, towards the end she accidentally flashed me which I found a little funny but I did not think too much about it until the next day when the video call came up during texting. I said "I could see your clevage yesterday <joy_emoji>" and she got creeped out, said "No you are pretty or you had a nice laugh, just straight to that ? maybe i am old fashioned but i just cant" and blocked me from everywhere. I do not understand what happened, I did not meant it to be a dirty thing so i left a voice message after trying to her on her number and after a while she replied with a text and called me a creep for bring it up and I should have ignored it and have said nothing and I should never contact her again. I just thought it was a bit funny and thought id mention it, i saw it as the same as if I saw my friend's butt crack I'd do the same but IDK why this went so wrong... AITA here ?

I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for 5 years. He’s kind, supportive, and my best friend, but over time I’ve become exhausted by carrying almost all the responsibility in our relationship.

We’ve lived together for 4 years, and I do nearly everything around the house while also working full time. He helps, but usually only after repeated reminders. Most of his free time goes into gaming and relaxing, and I feel like once he became comfortable in the relationship, he stopped putting in effort.

I’ve tried communicating calmly, encouraging him, giving him space, and even spending 6 months abroad hoping he’d focus on personal growth. Very little changed.

The biggest crack in my trust happened when he went to Thailand for kitesurfing and met another girl. He admitted they flirted and danced together, and I later found messages where he asked to see her again while I was asleep. He claimed it wasn’t serious, but it hurt that he hid it from me.

To be fair, earlier in the relationship I also became emotionally attached to a coworker because I felt emotionally neglected. Nothing physical happened, and I told my boyfriend immediately.

The problem is that my boyfriend only changes when he thinks he might lose me. He improves temporarily, then falls back into the same behavior.

I love him deeply and can’t imagine life without him, but I’m also scared of building a future where I feel emotionally alone and responsible for everything.

I’m a 52-year-old father, and I’m honestly at my wit’s end here. My 22-year-old son wants to change his last name to “Carrington,” and it’s driving me absolutely crazy. You see, he was named after me, and now he wants to throw that away just because he doesn’t like our family name. He’s been talking about this since he was 15-17, but I foolishly believed it was just teenage angst that would fade away with time. But here we are, years later, and he’s still hell-bent on becoming a “Carrington.” Why?

Well, for one, he’s never liked me or my last name, and he’s not close to my side of the family at all. My parents are in their 90s and still alive. I have siblings, but my son never spends time with them, and neither did I ever let my son visit them. The last time my son saw my parents or my siblings was when he was 10 years old, and that was it. But still, that doesn’t give him the right to change his last name, let alone to that of some character name he likes.

Because he watched some soap opera called “Dynasty” and fell in love with their last name. I mean, seriously? Changing his name to a fictional character’s name from a TV show sounds absolutely ridiculous to me. I’m really struggling to understand this whole situation. We don’t have any Carringtons in our family, and it feels like he’s disrespecting our family lineage and his ancestors. It’s like he’s trying to cut ties with his own heritage, and that just breaks my heart.

If he had a valid reason, like adopting his mother’s maiden name, changing his last name to his wifes name or for religious reasons, I would probably be more understanding. Heck, if he was transgender and changing his name to better reflect his identity, I would fully support him. But this? It feels like he’s going through some sort of identity crisis and hates himself for no good reason. I’ve suggested that he consider professional help or therapy to sort through his feelings and understand why he’s so adamant about this change.

But he brushes it off, saying he’s sure about this decision. I’m his father, and I can’t help but feel like it’s my business too. After all, I named him, and our family name has been passed down through generations. Now, it seems like it’ll stop with him.I want him to know that I still love him, but I won’t call him “Carrington.” To me, he’ll always be my son with the name I gave him. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but changing his name to something so fictional just seems immature and crazy to me.

My son also has no respect for me whatsoever. He doesn’t like me, care about me, and finds me annoying. He straight up said, ‘I couldn’t give a fuck less about you or your opinion. The fact that you think I should care proves how utterly stupid you are.’ He doesn’t consider his mother’s brother or cousin his ‘family’ either, and he truly doesn’t give one fuck about what I feel about this decision.

TL;DR: My 22-year-old son wants to change his last name to “Carrington” just because he watched a soap opera and liked their name. I think it’s ridiculous, disrespectful to our family lineage, and shows a lack of understanding about his own identity. I won’t call him “Carrington” and hope he’ll come to his senses soon. Any advice would be appreciated.

We work at Sonic, and my co-worker (23M) has a huge crush on our female co-worker (24F). Now, firstly, I don’t think co-workers should date each other. I don’t even think co-workers should be friends—there should be a strict professional line, and I try to keep that.

But our female co-worker (24F) only dates and likes older men—like men who are 10, 15, 20, or even 22 years older. She’s single right now, but our co-worker kept trying to ask her out. She got frustrated and called him ugly and annoying, and told him she doesn’t like guys her age, and that she finds him repulsive and disgusting, which hurt his feelings.

Now, me personally, I don’t care. It’s pretty obvious she only dates and likes much older men—she said this to me and him multiple times—but he kept trying to shoot his shot. At a certain point, cruelty and harshness are the only things some people will understand, so I don’t feel sympathy for him. AITAH?

I never liked dentists. Every time they call, all I can think is "what are they gonna find and how much is it going to cost this time?" I didn't always have insurance and dentists have always been a source of financial stress for me. So I never got my wisdom tooth removed.

Unfortunately lately I had issues with an old filling and waited too long to fix it because I had no job and no insurance at that time. So I had to remove that one. And while discussing this the dentist also suggested I should remove the bottom wisdom tooth because they were at risk of infection in the future. I agreed to remove the most pressing ones while I still didn't have a job nor insurance.

So when I got to the appointment they wanted to remove 5 teeth. The damaged one and all 4 wisdom teeth. I never recall discussing that but while being there... In the end they could only remove 3 + the damaged one, and I'll have to go back.

It cost nearly $2000 and I still haven't had my fist paycheck from my new job, from which I had to take two days off. And that cabinet knew I had no job nor insurance. I have given them several thousand dollars in the last months.

I feel ripped off, in all the senses. It's been 4 days and my face is still swelling. I had to sign a waiver and I sincerely regret it.

I should have held my ground and told them to remove only the one I considered urgent, and come back when I had a job and insurance, because they clearly don't care.

It will take me months to recover financially from this. It broke the confidence that I slowly built with this cabinet. It just seems to validate my hatred for dentists even more. They're not only extracting teeth, they are also extracting large amounts of money even though some can't pay that much.

I try to convince myself that it would have to be done eventually, but I lived with them without issues before; my friends still have them and they're not dead. I really feel cheated out of at least $1000 that I could have put on food, or rent!

I just looked at her. She started raising her voice and insisting she meant that the government should think about the amount of houses that can be built to accommodate all the newcomers.

I just looked at her - she got angry as I was looking at her, and she could see I was visibly intrigued I (which she saw as threatening). She raised her voice further and wondered why I'm looking at her like that. I mentioned "so you're blaming the government for letting too many people in". She got angry with me and said it "wasn't about blame". I didn't mention the whole "got mine" attitude.

Eventually she took her pillow, called me an arsehole who cares too much about racism and went to sleep with our mixed-race children.

Funnily enough, we'd just been watching "The Knick" and I had mentioned how many don't realise their privilege. This was how she responded. I'm concerned. I'm not saying she's racist, not at all. Just naive or blind and ignorant. Yet she got angry with me for "not accepting" racism.

I should mention she got angry at me recently for not liking the direction the UK was heading and really not wanting to visit because of it (both our families live there - mine are "brown" lol.

I think it proved my point about privilege but I didn't want it to end that way but she stormed off. So AITA?

Edit: Australia btw

I had a video call with my sister today. Thing is we often end up debating politics and usually see things differently. During these debates/convo, she always asks me to show sources for my claims and I would always search for reputable sources to back them up. Sometimes I even end up agreeing with her after a quick search. Other times I stand my ground.

The issue is that she never provides sources herself. She always says she keeps up with the news and knows what she's talking about. She also tells me not to debate with her if I don't know the exact timeline of events. When I ask her to show the source, she usually refuses or tells me to go find it myself, even though she is the one making the claim.

This has happened many times. In the past I've even found evidence that proved her wrong, and she admitted it. But the pattern never seems to change. If I doubt her claim, she expects me to go find the reference myself. But when she doubts my claim, she asks me for sources and I always provide them.

During today’s convo, I brought credible sources to support my point and we argued back and forth. Eventually the discussion became rather heated. We both tried to explain our points again, and after a while I realized we were actually on the same page. I think the misunderstanding probably came from how we articulated our thoughts. So I said it seemed like there was a miscommunication and that we were actually on the same page.

Instead of calming things down, that made things worse. She accused me of not listening to her, always questioning her, and never trusting what she says. I told her that was not true. There are parts where I agree with her, and sometimes I even change my mind after a quick fact check. I only ask for sources when our facts are different, especially since she was the one who originally insisted that I should bring references to support my points.

The argument kept going, so I tried to calm things down by saying the miscommunication was partly my fault (which I do think to some extent, but the apology was very halfhearted). I mainly said it to deescalate. I have a bad habit of apologizing just to end things when arguments get heated, and my sister really hates this. She always wants a genuine apology. She said my apology was fake and insisted that the problem was entirely my fault.

I insisted that we were both responsible for the misunderstanding. I also said that if she had listened to my explanation earlier, she might have realized that we actually agreed on some points. But she kept insisting that I never listen to her, always question her, and always doubt what she says. I told her that wasn't true and that I do listen to her. I agree with her on some points, have changed my mind after a quick search before, and only look for references when our facts are different (especially since she's the one who insisted I bring evidence in the first place).

What frustrates me the most is that she refuses to admit any fault and still expects me to do all the work of finding evidence.

At this point, I have decided that I will probably stop debating politics with her because nothing productive ever comes out of it.

So AITA for getting frustrated and pointing out the double standard about sources?

My (18NB) friend's (18M) parent recently came out as trans to my friend, and he shared that with me. He says his parent, until recently known as his dad, has come out to him as binary trans and wants to be seen as a woman. My friend doesn't feel comfortable with that, though, and calls them his 'mod' (rather than mum or dad) and uses gender neutral terms for them. He has also asked me to use the same terms but I'm worried I'm not properly respecting his parent by not using she/her and the like. AITA for prioritising my friend's comfort over his parent's?

My [28M] friend [32M] has been dating his bisexual girlfriend [32F] for 7 years; they have a kid together, but they recently broke up. He was EXTREMELY controlling and hit her once; he’s a huge Trump supporter. Red Pill guy loves Andrew Tate, Andrew Wilson, Fresh N Fit and other Red Pill gurus.

So recently they broke up, and she started seeing a 22-year-old woman nurse who just graduated from nursing school. She’s having a get-together and invited my friend’s ex, and my friend’s ex completely lost his shit because she’s going to the get-together. He yelled at her and screamed at her and even almost got physical with her until she just left.

And I decided I couldn’t be friends with him after that.

My parents told me I was being a bad friend; he’s going through a lot, and I’m being “selfish”.

AITAH?

I'm a 22m college student right now, and my little brother is in grade 9. For the past 5 days, our parents have been overseas, so my bro and I are staying at home, and just because I'm studying for the MCAT and really stressing out, I'm being helped in looking after my brother by our long time female family friend named Rina, who turned 44 this summer. I myself have known Rina since I was 5 years old, and I actually see her sexually. So does my little brother. Despite this, she seems to be totally unaware of our feelings towards her, and she openly tells us to consider her our "older sister". We like it because she's a very kind person, and she's really, really nice to both of us and to our family. She also always really casual with exposing her skin, and she doesn't seem to know the effect it has on my little brother lol.

Two nights ago, Rina invited her boyfriend over to our house, with our approval and my parents did give her permission to do this if she felt like it. I'm not sure if she was allowed to do this, but she helped herself to our alcohol, and got quite drunk while her boyfriend was the designated sober person. Whenever Rina gets drunk, she just gets utterly adorable, and I think it really pushed my brother to the edge. Because last night, in an effort to see her all cute and letting her guard down again, he spiked her drink with alcohol. She saw right through it, and it really freaked her out, even though it didn't do much harm to her (she stopped drinking immediately). She got my brother to fess up, and she didn't take it very well at all.

Today, I was at home, studying, when Rina walked in. I could tell she was trying to put up a brave face, and she told me that she was waiting for my brother to come home so that she could chat with him. When he did come home, however, she kinda froze up. She tried acting normal, and tried making us dinner, but she started freaking out and puked a lot. Her cooking is always amazing, and this was the only time my brother and I weren't comfortable with eating it....I just now walked in on my brother lying in his bed, crying, and I did my best to comfort him, and patted him on the head and managed to get him to calm down....

Am I doing this right? I have more than a week left until my parents come home.

AITA, on April 29th, I noticed a FB post from my BFF, it's theme was about "leaving a party early".

My BFF notoriously falls asleep early and drifts away from any gatherings at his house.

In the comments section, I posted a photo from about '92-'93, of him sleeping on a couch. I'm in the photo behind the couch. Two other friends are at each end of the couch. Either sitting on the armrest or leaning on it. No booze, drugs or anyone flipping the bird. IMO: very innocent photo.

A couple of days after my photo comment, he sent at least 3 text in rapid fire mode. Essentially "screaming" at me to delete that photo.

It took a brief moment to get onto FB and delete that photo. But, those texts all came in faster than I could take care of the situation.

Keep in mind, it's on HIS FB page, he had full control to delete the photo himself. Then, he could've "yelled" at me via text/phone call.

IMO: he owes me an apology for the way he "screamed" at me via text. We haven't said more than "Hey." at any group gatherings since the episode.

AITA?

My 21M friend 24F My 4-year-old son is sick and is dying, and I just don't care now. In fairness, it's my friend's (22M) sibling, but I know her too, and I guess you could say we are "friends", but I seriously just don't care about her kid. Their parents won't help them financially with the kids' treatments, she told me, and while yes, I could help them, I choose not to because, like I said, I don't care for them. I don't hate them, but I'm just apathetic towards them.

AITAH

I live at an international dormitory with other international students, here in Japan. I met a guy two years ago and we were good friends ever since, he is japanese and I am Indian. I live in an international students dormitory so I introduced all of my friends to him and we all became good friends. It was usually only me who invited him for any plans even if he was connected to others through social media. He became my boyfriend after some time.

Now one of another Indian guy in my friend group is extremely misogynistic and is only nice to women he wants to sleep with. Needless to say he was not nice to me, would expect me to cater to the Japanese girls he's bringing to the dormitory and then act entitled. I told him I am not going to put up with this behavior, so he started to cut me off from plans ( he used to make so many plans) because he doesn't take his PhD seriously. When I noticed that he started to cut me off from plans, I just simply stopped talking to him.

This guy had a habit of befriending people who have cars, even pretended to be in love with a girl who has a car just so he could travel around. (This is important information for the story) My Japanese ex boyfriend also had a car but it was usually us going around alone.

Eventually we broke up because of a lot of communication gap but decided to stay friends. He made a new girlfriend one month ago and I decided to minimize my conversation with him although I was still very much in love with him.

Now this Indian guy, suddenly started becoming close to my Japanese ex boyfriend because he has a car and the girl he pretended to be in a relationship with because of her car, dumped him. He started inviting him to the dormitory. And my Japanese ex boyfriend started bringing his new girlfriend with him. I wouldn't have had any problem with it but my relationship with my Japanese ex boyfriend became very bad when I found out that he voted for a political party that is same as MAGA and wants to take away foreigners rights. He actually told me he wants to remove Chinese people from Japan but when he comes to my dormitory, he pretends to be their best buddy.

I requested my Indian friend multiple times not to invite him, so he kept telling me that it's a free world and we can do whatever we want (even though he got uncomfortable when I mentioned I would invite his ex girlfriend with a new boyfriend next). I gave him a warning and when he didn't listen, I told his ex the entire story of him cheating on her and then playing victim and calling her crazy when she opened up to their other mutual friends.

I also texted my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend and asked her to stop coming over to my place because I am moving out in two months. And then they can come whenever they want. Whenever they both come here, I feel uncomfortable and stop spending time with the same friends I introduced them to. I even told her that if they both Don't go to her ex-boyfriends place why do.they come to mine especially when I have already requested them multiple times to stop doing it.

Also if he hates foreigners so much and take away their rights, why should he hangout with us? I have not told my friends what he said about the topic to me.

So AITAH in this situation?

I’m sorry, I know this title seems like bait.

I (18F) was harassed sexually(?), verbally, and bullied by a woman (19F). My younger sister finds her gorgeous and got mad at me for saying she was average and not that attractive. She also told me “I was just saying that because she was horrible to me.”

That is true, but she genuinely isn’t attractive to me. My friend and boyfriend find her ugly (specifically on the inside).

I don’t think she’s ugly, but I don’t find her pretty either. Ugly on the inside, average appearance-wise, but wears nice clothes and likes cute things.

I (F26) work with a lot of foreign coworkers at a landfill. We pick recycling off a conveyor belt and are expected to do a certian amount a minute, or "pick speed". Theirs are regularly low. Additionally, they had a habit of flushing paper towel and making a mess. This plugged the toilet, and the women's restroom has been locked. We need special permission to use it like gradeschool. That all being said, I've had issues with them for more petty reasons. They would demand I sweep some certian part of the plant at the end of the day instead of whetever I was, they have no actual authority. They rush me in the bathroom, knocking on the doors. They generally are difficult. I am autistic, so I don't deal with this well, and tend to yell. Every time, they make a point to all laugh in unison.

My boss's boss was talking about meetings before work today. The subject of pick speeds came up, as one of the foremen has to bring it up during the meeting again. I complained as the boss was out the door that they really should be talking to these foreign workers, who among the above, have low pick speeds, make excuses not to switch stations as we normally would, and so on. The boss's boss gets mad at me, tells me "Everyone deserves a chance to work here" and all but accuses me of racism. It's worth noting, my pick speeds are usually well above average. AITAH?

I recently got banned from a dating subreddit and discord for people over 30 and all the admins will say is that I made some people uncomfortable. I've been trying to figure out what I did that could have upset people and the one 2 things I can think of was one incident when somebody mentioned I should try dating another male member of the discord server since we had so much in comment and I jokingly explained that I could never date another man because I don't like the sight of my own genitals so I doubt I would want to see or touch another man's. That seemed to spark some controversy with some members because I brought up genitalia. I get that I probably could have said it in a classier way, but in a server for people over 30 looking to date, I would assume this wouldn't exactly be taboo or warrant a ban.

Sorry for the catchy title! Let me explain.

I, 21F, was in an almost 6 month relationship with a girl, also my age. The first 3 months everything was smooth sailing, we live together in the same dorm building and things where chill. However, we had to go long distance due to summer vacation. Then, things started to get weird: she wouldn't reply to my messages for 6-8 hours (mind you, to conversation starters such as "good morning, how u doing, have you got any plans for the day" etc.) and wouldn't want to play games or watch movies with our friends online like before. After a month of this I raised this issue to her through FaceTime. She seemed to acknowledge it and told me she'll try to get better. That, I think, made things much worse. Conversations seemed so forced, and when we talked through the phone she answered with a dry, cut-to-the-chase tone, never asking me further than the bare minimum of "how are u". I somehow put up with this for a month, thinking that maybe exams had been rough and she was tired. Then, after I asked her randomly one day to play a game of Risk online (which, she refused), she blew up and started telling me that I always thought the worst of her, that I made her feel insecure about her degree and that I got exactly what I wanted from her (apparently, a talking schedule rather than a conversation). This caught me as a surprise. She'd never told me anything was going wrong and suddenly she had a loooong list of things I did that hurt her. I apologized, not knowing about what exactly, but none the less I valued her and our relationship more than being "right" on a small and out of the blue argument. Apparently this posture of trying to understand what happened and why she felt that way was actually "cold and manipulative" (exact phrasing, btw). I apologized, again, because I really wanted to make things right. She told me she needed to fix things in person, so she'd be no-contact until we meet again in her hometown for a trip we had planned with our group of friends. I agreed and so the next time we spoke was when I got off the train and into her car for the hour long ride to her hometown.

Long story short (because this could be another post) the trip was an utter failure, she wouldn't even look at me and wouldn't answer until I'd asked multiple times (she did not do this to my other friend, who was super confused and kinda astonished), among many other awful things (in which she started to also misstreat this other friend). Fast forward to me being back home processing whatever happened, I called her, asked why she treated us, and specially me, that way. I honestly wanted to understand how did she wanted to fix things when she would barely speak to me. She said she had already forgot, and that things were actually sorted out. I couldn't take anymore, so I cut things off because I saw she didn't want to fix things, but rather keep being mad. She told me she would call me before the new academic year to see how we we're feeling and how we wanted to manage the new situation. Rest to say, that call hasn't happened yet, and she avoids me like the plague (like, shamelessly getting up from the table if she sees me coming over to have lunch with our friends).

So, here is the AITA. She moved rooms to be right next to one of our friends (not the one from the trip tho). Whenever I stop by this friend's room she goes feral pounding on the wall, hitting doors, walking up and down the corridor like a beast in a cage. I tried confronting her about this and she angrily (over text, because she doesn't even dare look my way) said that I am no being considerate with her and that I am invading her space (with my voice) by being in the next room over, and that I'm basically stalking her and should stop hanging around there. I stood my ground and told her she didn't get to decide what happened on the room next door, but rather my friend since its her room. The thing is, not only does my friend live next door, but we also share the same group of friends (or used to, since this devacle has left me for dead, for the rest of the group has sided with her even tho no one asked how I'm dealing with the breakup), and we study at the same faculty. Am I really "messing" or "stalking" her? I don't want to she her just as much as she doesn't want to see me, but it's almost impossible not to at least run into each other in a corridor.

Sat behind me at the cinema was a mother and two teenage girls having a conversation amongst themselves (with mostly Mother talking) and kicking the back of the seats.

Mother goes for a pee. The kids aren't talking but at least one of them was still kicking the seats. I ask them "Please stop kicking the back of my chair" They do, all good.

Mother comes back, conversation resumes. I ask Mother "can you please shut up". She gives a half hearted fake apology.

Daughter then tells Mother I spoke to her.

"Did you speak to my child?"

"Yes I did, I asked her to stop kicking the back of my chair."

"But that's ridiculous, my chair is the one behind yours..."

"Well someone behind me was kicking the chairs, I felt it and asked them to stop."

"My god, are you that sensitive?"

"Apparently so."

"Oh well make sure you don't get too scared watching the scary movie."

Conversation between them didn't end I just couldn't be bothered arguing further.

Movie ends, I think "I'm going to get an earful off this woman" so leave as soon as the credits start to roll.

As I'm leaving I hear Mother come out and say "excuse me". I'm assuming she meant me, she was speaking to a girl behind the counter. I start to walk away. I then hear Mother say that a man abused her 14 year old daughter in there.

Counter-girl rightly had a horrified look on her face because of the liberal use of the word "abused". I walk over and said "that would be me" and explain what I said to Daughter. Counter-girl then calls over her manager.

I let Mother speak to Manager and then explain my side.

Manager says something like "this is just a cinema" clearly can't be bothered with this and I don't blame him.

Mother asks if there's CCTV in the screen, Manager says no. Then Mother walks away calling me a "bully" and a "horrible man". I leave also.

So, AMITA?

Hi All,

I have a savings account for purpose of which is to save up for "new teeth". My own teeth are all rammed full of fillings, the bottom row are not straight to say the least and two on the top row have irremovable stains and one needs a root canal. I hate my teeth so I would like a much more permanent solution to all my problems, I've also always had confidence issues about my smile. (I didn't look after my teeth well when I was young, but that's another story)

My aim is to save for all on four or all on six permanent dentures type thing. As a route to get decent looking teeth with no pain or infection problems. I have a savings account which I put in to every month to save for this and I think it will take another three or four years until I can afford them.

Last night, my girlfriend of about two years who is currently moving in asked how much I had saved in it. We are a little tight on money right now, I work full-time but she has been struggling to get more than 9 hours a week that she has to travel quite far for. I took her question as a bit of a threat quite frankly, that if she knew that I had a fair amount saved, then I might seem like a tight arse for not being more generous with money situations. She does know that I hate my teeth and that I want to save to get them fixed.

I said "none of your business" and I do now regret the tone that I used.

The next morning she was in tears saying things like she couldn't understand why I would keep a secret like that.

I have expressed to her that I regret seeming quite abrasive about what was possibly a fully innocent question on her part and explained that I thought personal savings were a private matter. I wouldn't ask her how much her savings were for example.

I now understand that some couples have full financial transparency with eachother. But I for some reason feel quite uncomfortable about that right now. I currently pay all the bills which is fine, I've been paying for everything myself for the last eight years or so and she does want to start contributing a bit which is great. I don't have any secret debts or anything like that to hide.

I know I could have handled the situation better but I'm wondering if I'm an arsehole for not telling her how much savings I have for a purpose of which I'm already considering as spent money?

edit: I am a man and the only man in this scenario

This happened some time ago. I was driving and stopped on a gas station. probably for coffee and had to go pee. I saw a long queue of around fifteen to twenty exclusively 30-something girls, definitely bit older than me. They probably were a sports team, since there was a hired couch bus waiting outside and they were mostly wearing sweats. There were separate stalls for men and women (one each), so I went for the men's room. It turned out locked, so I stood just outside it. One of the girls in the queue said that the back of the queue is "back there". I replied "sure, but I'm going to the men's room", understandably assuming they were queueing for the ladies room. To which she said "yeah but there's one queue for both". I am familiar with the concept of shared queues, but mostly from supermarkets or post office, where you would queue for several checkouts and just go to the first one that is free. Never encountered shared queues for gender-separated toilets, so I said "but the toilets are separate, I'm going to the men's room and you can queue for the ladies room" and simply went in without any more protest from them when the men's room emptied (and it was another girl in there).

Were I the asshole?