AITA for telling her that she accidentally flashed me ?
I meet this girl and we have been talking for about 2 week and things were going really well. We were vibing and making plans for meeting up on a date. We decide to do a video call and it went well, we talked for a while and it was fun, towards the end she accidentally flashed me which I found a little funny but I did not think too much about it until the next day when the video call came up during texting. I said "I could see your clevage yesterday <joy_emoji>" and she got creeped out, said "No you are pretty or you had a nice laugh, just straight to that ? maybe i am old fashioned but i just cant" and blocked me from everywhere. I do not understand what happened, I did not meant it to be a dirty thing so i left a voice message after trying to her on her number and after a while she replied with a text and called me a creep for bring it up and I should have ignored it and have said nothing and I should never contact her again. I just thought it was a bit funny and thought id mention it, i saw it as the same as if I saw my friend's butt crack I'd do the same but IDK why this went so wrong... AITA here ?
Asshole is a strong word but she's justified in going no contact. You may not have meant it that way but what you did did cross a line and she"s erring in the side of caution with a person she's known for 2 weeks. Don't treat women you just met like your mates.
NTA, but clearly socially awkward. Most ppl wouldn't even be bothered by that and probably wouldn't have mentioned unless there is a high risk it can happen to her in a formal video call. And then one would bring it up ASAP as a warning via DM and avoid words like "flashed". You disclosed it was a big deal for you. Not in a negative way, but still enough for her to be weirded out.
The emoji probably didn't help.
Yeah, NTA on this one.
Maybe a little in need of an expanded awareness of the variability or what people can find unwelcome, but that's not an asshole thing.
In general, it's better not to draw attention to someone's body until and unless they've expressed a preference in an overt way. Even men tend to get a little sketched out when a new acquaintance makes note of their body, especially when it's part of the body that's sometimes considered intimate or private. Boobs tend to fit that category of intimate or private, so it's best to avoid drawing attention to them until you know a person very well and know that it will be welcome
YTA , but I feel by mistake/misunderstanding, not intentionally. Cant stress enough that i dont think you were intentionally being a dick. We all do stuff that we think is kind hearted and funny, but turns out to be hurtful to someone else. It happens, but what matters is what you take from the situation afterwards and I feel this post alone shows that your self reflecting and desire to understand their side of the conflict better, so as a whole, NTA.
Personally, as a woman myself, that text would have made me feel objectified in the situation you described. I, again personally, would have felt hurt and upset that after a nice video call getting to know each other the moment that stuck in your mind the most was an accidental glance at my breasts and that it then lingered in your mind enough to text about it, especially early in a relationship where intimacy may not have been explored, yet. In that situation, i would have personally hoped details about me as a person, not my physical being, stuck with you first and foremost.
Parts of her physical being were shown that she didnt mean to, or wanted, to show. As a broad take with nuance, I feel that if someone sees/hears/learns something, accidental or not, that they clearly were not supposed to have known about, and that information violates someones sense of privacy and/or autonomy, then they need to treat that information as if they never had it in the first place. I feel it can almost be compared to HIPA policy in the U.S. where medical professionals legally cant discuss your medical details with others without your approval. I know my doctor has seen my bare body, but I trust that they wont share with others what theyve seen or discuss with me details about myself that dont align with the medical-based relationship i have with that doctor (i.e. saying he feels a lump in my breast vs my breast feels soft).
I don't know enough about you to call you that, but I'll say it was a learning moment and hope you took the lesson.