Spyke
lemm.ee

I get this is satire, but how the fuck do you even cook a steak that bad. Is it boiled?

155
sulgothreply
lemmy.world

Look up milk steak, it's a delicacy and it looks a bit like that.

67
PugJesusreply
kbin.social

The Frankish Emperor Charlemagne, later in life, suffered from health problems from eating too much meat. His physicians told him that he should switch from roasted to boiled meat, which he chafed at. Having never boiled meat because I don't eat much meat, I assumed it was royalty having Royalty Problems™.

Looking at that, if it's a result of boiling, I'm starting to think instead that was cruel and unusual punishment by his doctors.

38
vorticreply
lemmy.world

As someone who eats steak on rare occasion, if I was told I had to boil my steak from now on I would not be eating steak anymore. Boiled steak with no seat on the outside sounds awful.

27

I, too, like my steaks with seats outside. I can sit the whole family there!

15

It'd basically be stew meat minus the flavor from browning the meat before hand.

14

Some people don't actually know how to cook and think "I got it to X temperature" means they did it right.

14
lemmy.world

Ben Shapiro likes his steak like he likes his wife's pussy: completely fucking dry

75
lemm.ee

Which his wife, WHO IS A DOCTOR BY THE WAY, assured him was perfectly normal.

20

He had a very judgy but supposed to be "funny" video about mocking the song WAP, I.e "wet ass pussy." In it, he read the lyrics, saying "wet ass p-word," and stating that his wife, a doctor, told him that if their pussys were that wet, they had a medical condition and should see a doctor. He was trying to be wry, but it just came off very smarmy and like he was introduced to pussy via the song.

Of course the song is extremely hyperbolic and done for artist license, so old benny the shithead has been mocked mercilessly ever since about how his wife explained dry pussies to him, with the secondary implication being that his own wifes pussy is very dry when they have sex, because hes a repulsive troll.

5

If you added some ketchup and a side of McDonald's you'd be even MORE of a political player in the US

5

I don't think anyone is fuming as much as that steak was. And 0 flavor. No salt, pepper, garlic, or marinade.

2

Honestly same, choke on gas fumes all day, it's your life! But a cow died for that steak, honor it for fuck's sake.

41
Brimosreply
lemmy.world

As a vegetarian, even I’m mad about how he cooked that steak.

31

Vegetarians and vegans should be twice as upset, because that cow was murdered twice.

28
lemmy.world

I guess anyone dumb enough to think liberals would be angry about him cooking a steak is probably too dumb to learn how to cook one properly.

13
lemmy.world

I'm just upset they a cow had to die to make a steak that bad. They could have used a cardboard box and saved a cow.

55
Asafumreply
feddit.nl

We joke about my grandma like that, she had this whole process with store bought sausage to remove the salt but then it's so bland... "she does this and that to the sausage, boil, three times with another thing, remove the casings, and then to finish it off you toss the sausage away and just eat the packaging."

11
lemmy.world

I've heard the same joke about eating a native bird here: pluck the bird and boil it in a pot with a leather boot. After boiling for four hours remove the water, toss the bird and eat the boot.

4

That steer is going to come back and haunt his ass for such disrespect!

11

Fuck, I am a trans non-binary market socialism stan and I am more upset by the ruined meat...

That thing looks like Spam cosplaying as a steak. Is this what anti-wokeness does? Do they sear off your tastebuds and feed you a block of shoeleather when you join the club? Honey... Just come to one Pride BBQ please we need to start walking back that trauma and teach you what a proper fucking sear looks like.

6

The very definition of “own the libs”. He’s happy that we’re outraged how he ruined a good cut of meat by cooking it wrongly. He wasted his own money and deprived himself of a good steak, but he can at least be smug about it

4

I'm wondering if that's a butter knife, or the steak was so hard it wore the knife down

40
lemm.ee

My mind went to scrap wood. Shit looks like a hunk of raw pine.

21

Probably tastes like one too. I bet I've chewed on ice cream sticks with more flavour than that.

4
ohlaphreply
lemmy.world

I was going to suggest he might haves used gas to boil water to cook that thing.

3

Right. It was definitely the water that boiled. Boiling a steak sounds like a great way to vaporize it.

1
evranchreply
lemmy.ca

If it's a chewy old steak from an old cow you can pressure cook it, then it passes through the boiling to the other side and becomes tender again.

Then you shred it up and put like taco or donair spices on it and put it on rice or in a tortilla or something... It's questionable whether it's still a steak at this point, but it is tasty after being boiled which is more than you can say for OP's steak

8

Pressure cooking is really its own process. It's wet heat, either in saturated steam or in superheated water depending if you put the meat up on a rack or just on the bottom. For this sort of dish I would just put it on the bottom in the water.

The temperature is quite a bit elevated but not as high as baking, around 250F which would never cook your steak in the oven. It's more like an accelerated braise? You can make baked beans in 30 minutes instead of like... All day in the oven.

My wife is from Taiwan and their culture makes fantastic braised beef dishes, so there's definitely nothing wrong with getting beef wet! I think it's all about knowing the process and not just winging it and making something gross.

8
kbin.social

Damn. Well, enjoy your disconcertingly pale steak. Try not to get mad cow disease.

Honestly, why do these assholes regard acts of self-endangerment as "owning the libs?" "I'm gonna run outside without a mask, get COVID, and die a miserable death! That'll show those commies a thing or three!" Yes, I'm very "triggered" by your easily preventable deaths. Please don't kill yourself with your own stupidity. I couldn't go on without your fourth grade insults and desperate, performative machismo. Stop. Please. Oh no.

30

what boggles me is that politicians encourage it! like sure they have no empathy and just want power, but in what universe is it a winning bet to make your voter base actively endanger themselves?

2
MacDangusreply
lemmy.world

I agree with your point, but I hope you’re not seriously buying into the whole “gas stoves are a health risk” bullshit.

2

I assumed the beef with gas (pun partially intended) was it's burning a fossil fuel and releasing CO² whereas electric could potentially be drawing from carbon free sources.
Not that gas stoves are a direct risk to the user (although the one in the OP might be if that's the best it can do)

2

I have no opinion of gas stoves, although they would not be my personal preference.

2

No? Really? You don't think gas and its combustion byproducts can ever be bad for you?

What are the known health effects from NO2 exposure?

In a 1992 meta-analysis of studies on this topic, scientists at the EPA and Duke University found that nitrogen dioxide exposure that is comparable to that from a gas stove increases the odds of children developing a respiratory illness by about 20 percent.

(...)

In addition to acute effects such as asthma symptoms, long-term nitrogen dioxide exposure has also been linked to chronic lung disease and increased mortality in general.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-health-risks-of-gas-stoves-explained/

1
lemmy.world

There is a nonzero chance that we're looking at a piece of wood

29

Like I do not know how to cook

But I can assure you I would not be able to fuck up a meal like this if I tried

28

In a gas stovetop I make a beautiful pan-seared, oven cooked steak. And I’m liberal.

This steak has nothing to do with what it was prepared on, just the moron who ruined good food.

28
lemmy.world

You see we do things like reading books and learning to do things like cooking food properly. Those concepts are for woke idjits from the snowflake generation.

I am a bit triggered at the waste of food though, shit looks nasty lol

2

Agree the food comes out great on gas.

The problem now and the reason why the right is memeing about this is that the gas and stove industries have been lying for years and burning a gas stove in your home is poisonous to everyone in it with benzene gas.

1

Yeah, I’ve seen that going around. I’ll wait until there’s some consensus from the scientific community that the use of gas for cooking is indeed bad for the majority of people and not just a problem for those with sensitivities or respiratory issues. We’ve been using gas in homes for such a long time that I don’t know if we could separate out any serious slow to appear negative health consequences from the background noise of all the other things that cause health problems like automotive exhaust and the like.

1
lemmy.world

Someone should publish a study that self castration is harmful and should maybe be phased out.

27

CAN'T CANCEL THIS TURNIP LOVERR! I'M GONNA SLICE MY BALLS OFF TO OWN THE L- wait. Ahhhhh almost had my you little scamp.

1
lemmy.world

It looks sickeningly dry and I hate it. But it's definitely cooked. Like an overdone roast. An animal literally died to enable this atrocity.

12
Sanguinereply
sh.itjust.works

What's the appeal? Meat is gross, but putting that aside why eat it as close to raw as you can get.. Always seems like the equivalent of I'll have my coffee black, like having any cream / sugar or in this case, cooking it, makes less of a statement.

-30

If you already think meat is gross, how do you expect to understand why someone would like it prepared a specific way?

That being said, the more rare the meat the more flavor you can taste. If you cook steak too long all you can taste is the seasoning. Raw is too chewy for me, I like rare to medium rare but I'm sure blue rare has even more flavor.

Also, ordering coffee black is definitely not a statement 😂 I like my coffee black because sugar is poison and I'd rather consume it from pies and ice cream. Milk takes a lot of the coffee flavor away too. If I was drinking 7/11 coffee I would probably need sugar and milk to mask the terrible taste but when you use good coffee beans you should be able to taste it.

14

Because red meat is more tender. But searing and cooking give it flavour. Besides health reasons for pork and chicken. Beef can easily be left rae completely in some situations like a steak tartare or seared for just a little 2-3 minutes to create flavour and a crust but leave the juiciness and tenderness there be leaving it more raw.

As someone that usually drinks black coffee, adding steamed milk for me is usually a texture thing when drinking an cappuccino also dilutes the coffee with something warmer and sweeter, just creates something different then there was in the first place. Exactly the same as I said with the steak tartare vs a smoked brisket or like some stewed meat.

4
discuss.tchncs.de

The only people who think gas stoves are superior are the ones who never tried an induction stove

21
Cowbeereply
lemm.ee

Gas is better than shitty electric, but induction is better than both shitty electric and good gas.

21
lemmy.world

Depends on how you define "better". Shitty electric doesn't make the fumes burning gas does, unless that gas is hydrogen.

2

Shitty electric takes forever to heat up and provides inconsistent heat. Good electric is much quicker and more even, but the heating elements take a long time to cool down. I prefer cooking with gas, personally.

2
lemmy.world

The EMF pollution though :(

Really messed with audio equipment and wires

1
lemmy.world

My ideal stove would be an induction range with 1 gas burner, as there a few things gas is just better/easier for (eg. A Wok, non-magnetic cookware), but otherwise you're right. I was a proponent of gas until I got an induction range.

11
herrvogelreply
lemmy.world

Someone will probably make one of those soon. I just bought myself an induction range, and I saw ranges with 3 gas burners and 1 induction hob. Hopefully not long until those numbers are swapped around.

1

They already exist.

Look here
I'm saving up for one, but it's a bit more tricky as I have the ventilator in the middle sucking down and those combos only exist in hybrid solutions and cost a metric fuckton.
$9k from Gaggenau, BORA and Smeg.

Just having one with gas for wok and my carbon steel pan also frees up more power for the remaining induction zones.
Have four zones now but running three or more forces it to balance the power as not to trip the fuse.

2

I have a gas stove and i hate it. The heat wicks up the sides of the pot/pan, making the handles get too hot to touch and also burns any food stuck to the inside above the surface of what else is in the pot. All that lost heat off the sides is incredibly inefficient/wasteful (well i guess not really in the winter as it does contribute to heating the house, but definitely its undesirable in other cases)

Also is stinky and a pain in the ass to clean.

9

I agree broadly, but I have seen some shitty implementations of induction stoves . Specifically one which didn't have enough heat settings, and when you changed between settings it would turn off for a full 2 seconds before turning on at the new setting. Did this stop me from cooking anything? No. But it was annoying.

A good induction stove is way better than gas for 99 percent of what most people will ever do at home.

5

Nah, charcoal and wood. Everything else is crap.

Nobody really cares if you cook with gas. However, heating your 4,000 SF home without any insulation during a blizzard to 75F... that's wasteful.

4
kbin.social

The only thing I don't really like about induction is that I can't see the energy visibly to judge things like I can an actual flame. If I cooked with a wok more, I might have issues there as well

2

Correct, I have not tried an induction stove, and as much as I'd like to, they can be hard to find. Even harder to find if you have a kitchen with a weird layout. I have thousands of options for gas or electric, I have found ONE induction stove in my area and it was a clearance, floor model only item.

1
kbin.social

That looks like an overcooked pork chop.
And it looks disgusting.
I pity the fool that has to eat that.

17
kbin.social

It looks both over cooked but under-seared.

I have a feeling they boiled it rather cooked it in a pan.

14

I think they found it in a hotel buffet simmer pan on a Tuesday after the big conference dinner Friday night.

2

Probably the same guy that cooked it.

Nobody else would eat his cooking.

2

Yeah, they’re fuming, they’re fuming about how the fuckwit ruined whatever that shit on the plate could’ve been.

14
Dethedrusreply
lemmy.world

For a moment I thought you said 'Trump steak', then realized there's not an entire bottle of ketchup pooled it and the plate.

1
kbin.social

Damn, that person needs to learn to properly cook a steak.

11
Godricreply
lemmy.world

Look at that steak, there's no way their problems are limited to just that dish

12

Damn, that person needs to learn to properly cook a steak.

Fixed that for me.

7
lemmy.world

Okay, I think this marvelous.

That steak is actually amazing.

I mean, we’re looking at the cure for world hunger.

10

“The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.”

-- Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad

32
lemmy.ca

I know a real greasy dude who can cook a better $2 steak with a fuck ton of lemon pepper.

9
lemmy.world

The real issue here is that you own a gas stove and use it. Gas stoves have been known to be bad for your health, and indoor air quality for a long time now, and we've bought the propaganda fed to us by stove manufacturers about how good they are, ignoring all the health implications of using them.

8
SkyezOpenreply
lemmy.world

The real issue here is killing yourself to own the libs.

We should start encouraging people to not stab themselves. Republicans would commit seppuku just to piss off lefties.

22
lemmy.world

Insanity. You clearly do not cook. I'm saying this as someone who bought a fancy induction cooktop. Gas is still superior.

-16

I switched from gas to induction last year, and I cook frequently and with competence--in a previous life I was sous at a French restaurant and then at a northern Italian restaurant.

I like them both, but the benefits of induction for a home kitchen outweigh the benefits of the gas stove for me. And that's putting aside the health benefits. Induction>gas>electric for me!

6

I mean, you're free to screw up your lungs and possibly increase your risk of cancer. Nobody is going to stop you.

1

This is stupid. Everyone uses gas stoves. On the other hand rhough...

It turns out that the gas stove industry has been lying for years about the safety of their products, and that gas stoves actually fill your house with poison, such as benzene gas.

Liberals and conservatives have been using them for years, raising their kids around then. It is only the libs though, in California, who actually have spine and brain enough to do something about it, or at least make the industry stop selling them.

3

Please tell me that’s tuna and not beef. If that’s beef then you sit are a liberal because that shit is way overdone

0

Walked through a room... . Then slowly dragged through a bubbling pot of piss for 1976sec. Then beat-off-over for six rounds by well hung studs (for flavor and commitment) then shat through a bald eagle with a hawk skawk. Served on an olive tree plank with sturgeon caviar... And wrapped in a kevlar and leaded jacket?

Fuck you wondering about? It's American breakfast!

-15