Richard Peter Johnson

Dickhead, clearly.

Richard

Biggus Dickus

Spez

Dickens. Charles Dickens.

BJ

Johnson

Woody

Weeny

Richard Johnson, Business Cat.

Schlong

Fallus

Bite (pronounced bit) and zizi are slang for penis in french.

I can't be serious

Cat

Anita Dick

Dickxie

Richard. Richard Face.

Lemmy

Big Dog

Herm.

It's not short for Herman; it's a kind of Ancient Greek statuary.

Almeida

Richard

Shirochin, maybe?

Denis.

Jeff.

I think Scarf would be a good name

Lebowsky

That cat already has a name: Jess. She belongs to Postman Pat.

Peter

Richard

Kitty McDongface

Rick Sanchez

Hammond Druthers

Jeff Bezos

Richard

Dick, or Richard. Willy, or William. John, or Mr Thomas. Johnson. Chubster. Dee. Nobby. Peck. Rod.