Workout so I feel healthy and attractive.

Post on lemmy obviously

I lay in bed and cry.

What I actually do now and what works are different things. I have a low social battery so after work, wherein I have to engage with people I normally wouldn't all day, I'm tapped out. When I get home I get in my pajamas and that's it. Which makes me pretty lonely.

So right now I am trying to arrange my lifestyle so that I don't have to work full time and have more energy to actually regrow my friend group which has crumbled over the years.

But, for advice:

Sometimes I will go to a local coffee house. For the price of a drink you can hangout for a long while. Take something to read or draw on. You can listen to headphones or not. I've also seen people crocheting and playing board games.

You don't have to talk to anyone, you can just sit around people and sometimes that helps me just feel a little more connected to society in general. And unlike a lot of places, it's fine to start a conversation with a stranger there, which is generally how a lot of friendships begin.

Often places have a board up where people pin fliers about events that might interest you. Like a detective looking for clues to their next adventure.

If you find a spot you like make it a commitment to go frequently. You will get to know the regulars and the staff.

Over all, though, unlike being in school, once you are an adult it takes work and commitment to getting your social needs met. You have to go to the events and meet the people and spend effort to build relationships with them.

I cry in the shower. 👍

This is advice for a kid from an old.

Interact with real live people. The weird notions that come into your head: say them out loud. Make a point of trying to make every human interaction one where the other person feels a bit better, or chuckles, or just also has a real interaction with another person.

You're a person as much as anyone else is. Express yourself.

I go for a walk, talk to trees. If you have a nature area or a lake nearby, go check it out.

I have watched YouTube reactions videos, living vicariously through people watching stuff for the first time that I've loved.

If it's during the day, I can go and chat to my neighbours who've retired; they're always up for a natter. Re-contacting old friends to see how they're getting on might start a few conversations.

Around 25 years ago, I joined a message board focused on a topic I loved and started chatting to people there. I ended up working as a Moderator! That got me 4 brand new friendships, which have lasted all these years, even if the Mod job didn't.

Consume porn, masturbate, refresh fediverse, poke myself with my knife, get on a bus, writhe in pain, sleep in bed, call a medical/mental hotline, browse thrift stores looking for older electronics to refurbish, learn C, learn Linux, (re)learn math, do photography, online shopping, listen to Tolkien audiobooks, stay at work as long as possible, try (and fail) to think of ways to subtract myself, unnecessarily clean the house, listen to Dir en grey, eat and more.

It goes away

I guess I reach out to someone, if I can. Maybe a family member, an old friend, or even just joining some new niche online community.

also this is on me but I kinda got addicted talking to LLMs coz i was depressed for a year after that due to academic stuff and grabbed on it and yeah not something I am proud of at all using a technology I hate and is very damaging to the environment.

Don't feel too bad. LLMs are, like some many other things, designed to be addictive. I've managed to avoid them for the most part so far, but I've seen them become way too much a part of other people's lives and it's scary. They are very literally engineered to hit your dopamine.

You should feel good about recognizing an unhealthy pattern in your life and changing it, because many people continually fail to do that.

Earlier I remember i just used to make memes, enjoy music, watch tv shows and anime and what not and be totally happy. I have tried that but maybe I have grown up from being a delusional in his own world 15yo to a pretty weary almost 19 pondering on deep existential questions and unable to watch TopGear💀 lol.

I think that feeling like the things that used to make you happy no longer do is a sign of depression, and being "pretty weary from pondering deep existential questions" is fine, but it can easily turn into anxiety. (I know because I've been there in both cases.) There is a lot of scary, weird and stupid shit going on in the world right now, but much if it is beyond your direct control.

As someone approaching 40 now, I guess I would just recommend trying to stop worrying about anything that isn't immediately actionable. Like, if you can't take a step towards solving one of your problems starting tomorrow, then it's probably too "big picture" to really bother worrying about at the moment.

When it comes to writing a blog or a comic, I say just do it. (Just like pretty much ALL of my art and music projects, even if you think nobody will care or want to read it, you do it for yourself!)

I recently started reading again. The kindle (and free downloads from libby) feed the 'reach for a screen' reaction and my brain feels better with something to do.

So I was introverted growing up. Think I may have some undiagnosed thing. I changed and was by and large able to cope as an adult but I never lost my introvert nature and I rarely can recall feeling lonely. I easily get more than enough socialization just by being open to what I come across each day with the neighbors or such. That being said I have anxiety and depression. This is more due to being at the opposite end of life without a job for two years. Granted I think the anxiety is a bit in my nature. Also the depression has been going on since the world problems seemed to not mathematically be solvable (outside of sci fi levels of technology). At least with how the world has chosen to handle them during this millenium. It was manageable until the job thing though. I do wish I had more oportunities to socialize in the way I want to though. going to cons and hanging with a tabletop group.

I started going to the local gym run by the county, ie lots cheaper than a pro gym. It's good bc you're around other people but most are "in their own world". But if you ever want to hang out with someone in a nonthreatening place you can ask them along to the gym. If a county gym is still to pricey, most towns have public parks with tracks and/or exercise equipment like pull-up bars.

Probably find a show to binge watch

Remind myself of JOMO (rather than FOMO), and that happiness and love has to come from within before it can be shared or experienced securely with others. You have to find and be at ease with yourself first. That's where self-esteem and understanding comes from.

You can only have a good attitude with others if you train it up in yourself first. So do what you can to enjoy time with yourself. To enjoy your self. Learn from that self understanding/sympathy/discussion with yourself.

Know thyself.

I had quite a lot of unhealthy ways of coping with it, back when I did, but a couple of ways that I found to be effective and reasonably healthy were to spend time in natural environments - typically woodland and mountainous areas though. The coast can lead to intensified feelings of loneliness, I found - and also volunteering.

I ended up combining the two and getting into regular wildlife conservation volunteer work, which eventually led to me changing career and getting paid to lead vols in conservation work. But that is another thing altogether.

Talk to my cellmates.