Mitch McConnell returns to the Senate after three-month absence due to health issues
Welp, guess he's not dead after all.
https://www.cnn.com/2026/09/14/politics/mitch-mcconnell-senate-return-healthOpen linkView original on lemmy.worldSyndicated from the fediverse. Read and engage on the original instance.
View original on lemmy.worldhttps://www.cnn.com/2026/09/14/politics/mitch-mcconnell-senate-return-healthOpen linkView original on lemmy.world
47 replies
Finally worked the bugs out of the Mitch Droid, it's ready for public viewing.
When everyone wants you to die but your will to spite them is stronger.
Lich McConnell living up to his name.
Somehow, Mitch McConnell returned
Dang, I only spotted your comment after posting the same joke. Here, have an upvote instead.
friday night at Mitchs. giving FEINSTEIN vibes, she was barely there when she had shingles encephalitis.
Just drop dead already
Are we sure it’s not a clone of Mitch, or a ghola perhaps.
For all we know, he could be brain dead.
he's republicunt, so that's a given.
From the AP article
Something is fucked for sure with this and they are all covering it up
Video would make his unresponsive condition apparent.
He’s being kept alive.
Is he being "weekend at berinied"?
clone status
He's old enough to have had polio.
hes older than that, hes the silent generation.
Well. He’s certainly not young enough to have had polio.
But they want to ban vaccines.
Wtf??? That worthless fucking ghoul is still alive???
This is an absolute ass timeline...
they finally was able to ressurect him with his phylactery.
You cannot kill that which has no life.
This is one of the best lines Trey Parker ever wrote.
Nothing good ever happens
Still no believable video
I saw a candid video of him in the wheelchair on the senate floor, talking to people
He looks more decrepit than usual, but I had no reason to think the video wasn't real
did it have audio that you could perceive his voice?
Ooh, they've done a really good job on him. You can't even see the strings!
his necromancer is an expert at reanimating corpses.
It’s all animatronics these days
The only thing that makes sense to me is he's completely unable to speak. Other than that, no idea why everything would have unfolded the way it did and is.
Edit: He's talking too. Something stinks. Not saying it's not him, but there's something being hidden for sure.
It took some time for the dark magic absorbed through the ritual sacrifice of Lindsey Graham to fully restore Mitch to a shadow of his living self.
included the souls of several youthful children from asia.
Every ladybug contained the essence of one youth. One young male, kept on Lindsey Graham’s body. Lindsey was the unholy vessel of the philosopher’s kidney stones. A host like no other. They had to use every single ladybug on Mitch. It wasn’t enough…
its the phylactery, why else would elaine chao go to china, she needed reincarination spells.
Took time to find a guy kinda looking like him and the bit of plastic surgery to add Mitches face skin to theirs.
the necromancer had a tough time reanimating a disintegrating corpse.
He looked so much better in those proof of life pictures from a month ago….
True mental illness. Go home and enjoy your last fucking 15 days on this earth.
It will outlive us all, the Mitchbot-800
Clock is still ticking motherfucker
Allegedly*
He does already look like a corpse, just look at those legs.
Impressive job on the doctors' part, if nothing else...
Real Duke of Edenburough energy.
Hey, at least Lindsay Graham is burning in eternal shadow flame. Small consolation, I know, but I have no choice but to take it.
This has to be the first time in history that the memes were wrong