That's for sure the kind of thing that you don't want generally known where you got the money from, you don't want the original owners knocking at your door.
In my parts, cash payment is pretty well-accepted for day-to-day stuff, but bigger stuff is likely going to raise suspicions, and you probably won't want to involve banks at all so depending on your pre-bush money finances, paying doctors out of pocket is not going to be (easily) possible. So I could use the bush money for shopping (groceries, clothes etc.), get a psychotherapist. Maybe buy illicit drugs, see if that does anything for my issues.
TBH it wouldn't even improve my general living situation much unless I find a reasonably non-suspicious way to get a relatively large amount of money into a banking account. IDK, start a sham business?
I already pay for most things in cash where possible. But you're right, not doing regular cash withdrawals might raise suspicions. Looks like for the most part, I'd just use the money for spending more money on groceries, clothes etc.; waste of time TBH, might as well start handing it all out to homeless and charities that take cash donations if I can't find a way to make a sham business work without putting me in prison.
If you get audited or something not much you can do since they can use investigators and watch you, at least in Canada iirc.
But buy your regular groceries, drop it off at the food bank, and buy your meals out, buy better versions of what you normally would. But don’t suddenly shop at Louis Vuitton.
Make some deposits on your mortgage and say it’s XYZ gift from your aunt.
But buy your regular groceries, drop it off at the food bank
Tbh, if you can just drop off cash donations at your local food bank without giving your identity that'd help more. They usually can get deals to buy more food per dollar than individuals can
The only reason a food bank was included here was as a way to not waste the decoy groceries that you are purchasing as a way to maintain your pattern so the tax man doesn't notice.
These sound pretty good. Anything where getting paid in cash and not having receipts would be the norm. I could also get into busking, there's no way the tax office is even going to track how much time I actually spend doing it. Which might explain quite a few of the buskers I'm seeing in my town ...
I mean, if you look at it like "I'm going into this casino to lose this money. The money I'm going to lose is the payment for hanging out in a room with lots of blinking lights, free well drinks and a guy in a vest, because that's my kind of place"...sure. Maybe avoid writing those gambling losses off of your taxes.
Looks like you could circumvent that by keeping the winnings small-ish, though I'm not sure if it's per-day, per-month or per-year. Though the taxes are probably not that big of a deal, compared to how unlikely (and thus suspicious) it is to win so much money by casino gambling.
At that point, buy one tank of gas and/or one grocery trip with the "found" cash a month for the rest of your life and hope nobody notices you seem to be spending $100 a month more than you earn.
As mentioned earlier, do cash transactions with people on the market place or second-hand stores. Moving goods you want is easier if you stay away from shiny new stuff and big stores
Put your regular income into savings to save for a mortgage, debt paydown, and mutual aid and other big purchases. You now have 750k for daily expenses and fun money for the next half of your life.
First thing I'd do is quickly acquire $750k of counterfeit bills from the dark web and then place the bag with the counterfeit bills back where I found it. Hopefully before anyone notices it's gone. I've seen too many movies to know how this ends.
$750,000 is a lot of money. I have a job that pays me well, and maintaining my legal, safe lifestyle is worth more to me than getting away with more money.
I would search for anything that helps identify the owner, and failing that, confirm my idea with a lawyer. My understanding is that in my state, I have to give the money to the police for 60 days. If the owner fails to claim it, it legally becomes mine, and I have to pay income taxes on it. That'll make a mess of my tax filings for the year (suddenly I don't qualify for Roth IRA, for example) but I don't place myself in any legal danger.
It's a boring answer, but I'd much rather have a boring $440,000 than an exciting $750,000 and a constant threat looming over me.
Most police would just seize the money saying they suspect it was used in a crime. Why would they let some rando have it if it could buy the office a new MRAP?
The problem is that the charges are against the property itself, and it's a civil not a criminal charge. So the police only have to meet a minimal standard that there is probable cause. This could be as simple as claiming the only reason someone wouldn't be actively seeking that large amount of money through legal means would be that the money was involved with or acquired through illegal means.
If the police did seize the money, it would at least be tied up in court for years with extended legal expenses. Personally I would rather take my chances on laundering the money or an extended period of time.
Who's casting stones? I'm giving my opinion to wt:thons reply to a hypothetical situation.
Thon says that thon is doing alright, so this $750 000 is a choice that might take a relatively short time to figure out: for some a few days, for others, a little longer, and for some a few minutes.
IMO there are at least 2 moral questions here.
Is this a case of some decent person somehow losing $750 000?
Should one report it, and while it might go to a decent person, it also might be returned to a bank or some similar or worse, and if unclaimed, ≤$210 000 goes to a government presided by Trump; or does one not report it maybe spend $37 500 of cash every year for the next 20 years?
Depends who we’re afraid of here. Are we afraid of whoever lost the suitcase full of money, or the government, or both?
I’d assume whoever ditched a suitcase of money is a criminal, and unlikely to report it as lost with the serial numbers of the banknotes.
In that case I’d just use it for some day-to-day stuff, small luxuries, and whatever crap I want on Facebook marketplace that doesn’t need to be registered.
If I was convinced these banknotes came from a bank robbery or something of the sort, I think I’d only use it at somewhat sketchy looking flea markets / swap meets, and on holiday in foreign countries. But in that case it would be very hard to ever use all of it without trying to get a suspicious amount of cash through TSA and past customs.
Depends who we’re afraid of here. Are we afraid of whoever lost the suitcase full of money, or the government, or both?
I don't think suitcases full of money come with instructions on who you've offended by taking them. Figuring this out is the point of the thought experiment.
I belong to one of the poorest groups in my country and it's immediately obvious why it would be difficult. Banks are definitely going to get suspicious if you suddenly turn up with huge amounts of money of unclear origin and might notify the tax office, at which point you're toast if you didn't think of a good way to launder the money. If you officially declare that you found a suitcase of money, it's unclear whether you're allowed to keep it, and there's a chance that the ones who put/lost the suitcase in the bush learn of it (e.g. if the source is government corruption).
Probably less difficult to hide if you already have a half-decent income where you can theoretically save quite a bit of money by living really frugally.
I'm not knowledgeable enough to know exactly how this could work, but I think the first step would be to register a business or five in Nevis. Maybe a "consulting business".
I'm sure there's a way to do it, rich people launder money all the time.
My husband's into the One Piece TCG. There's some pretty significant money exchanging hands in that scene, so it should be fairly easy to launder that kind of money by buying cards in cash and selling them on Cardmarket (thus paying taxes on them). Just last week he was part of a deal where a card was sold for 26k in cash and nobody was phased by it haha
Make a deal with a rich person to buy a painting of yours for 740 k, and then you hand them the 750 k in cash. You now have 740 k in clean money, and they made 10 k in profit. Presumably some wealthy people can take on 750,000 in cash and laundry it through their businesses
Money laundering works by mixing illegitimate money into a legitimate business and paying taxes on it. Most of that would be taxed at 35%, they would pay around $260,000 in taxes. Might want to pay them more than $10,000.
That sounds like what rich people do. From reports I've heard rich people often do weird and shady shit to make a small profit. Even shit like steal a dollar bill out of a tip jar. Barely an exaggeration
Well, again, I guess. Because I say she was well off. Like compared to me. They weren't millionaires afaik. More like "we own 5 cars because we can" level of wealth. (Some of which were definitely used cars too btw)
Then you could have another friend paint a second painting and then sell it to the friend with the 750k. Now they both have paintings that have sold for 750k, it's like double what you had before. Plus the painting supplies are probably tax deductable
I feel like the real answer is to pay for small purchases like groceries and restaurants in cash, save up until you have a legit savings account, and then invest in a business that, for some reason, gets a bunch of massive purchases that wouldnt be out of the ordinary
78 replies
Remove it from the original suitcase first. I've seen No Country for Old Men.
You don't wanna get into some kind of jackpot.
That could lead to more beer.
Also every bill needs to be inspected.
Why?
Fakes, marker, serial in sequence, etc
Interesting thought experiment, actually.
That's for sure the kind of thing that you don't want generally known where you got the money from, you don't want the original owners knocking at your door.
In my parts, cash payment is pretty well-accepted for day-to-day stuff, but bigger stuff is likely going to raise suspicions, and you probably won't want to involve banks at all so depending on your pre-bush money finances, paying doctors out of pocket is not going to be (easily) possible. So I could use the bush money for shopping (groceries, clothes etc.), get a psychotherapist. Maybe buy illicit drugs, see if that does anything for my issues.
TBH it wouldn't even improve my general living situation much unless I find a reasonably non-suspicious way to get a relatively large amount of money into a banking account. IDK, start a sham business?
Suddenly not having weekly grocery purchases on your debit/credit after decades of doing so will raise some red flags though.
People forget about the patterns they’ve made.
I already pay for most things in cash where possible. But you're right, not doing regular cash withdrawals might raise suspicions. Looks like for the most part, I'd just use the money for spending more money on groceries, clothes etc.; waste of time TBH, might as well start handing it all out to homeless and charities that take cash donations if I can't find a way to make a sham business work without putting me in prison.
If you get audited or something not much you can do since they can use investigators and watch you, at least in Canada iirc.
But buy your regular groceries, drop it off at the food bank, and buy your meals out, buy better versions of what you normally would. But don’t suddenly shop at Louis Vuitton.
Make some deposits on your mortgage and say it’s XYZ gift from your aunt.
Tbh, if you can just drop off cash donations at your local food bank without giving your identity that'd help more. They usually can get deals to buy more food per dollar than individuals can
The only reason a food bank was included here was as a way to not waste the decoy groceries that you are purchasing as a way to maintain your pattern so the tax man doesn't notice.
Some food banks can only buy from certain venders, so they need specific grocery items all the time. Especially if they deal with ethnic communities.
LMAO "my mortgage"
Right after I put down a deposit for my Lamborghini.
The tax man will still suddenly notice that you're not withdrawing the money regularly
Which they literally just said.
Yeah, register as a tarot reader, fortune teller, small business consultant, antiques dealer, vintage collector, wedding singer...
These sound pretty good. Anything where getting paid in cash and not having receipts would be the norm. I could also get into busking, there's no way the tax office is even going to track how much time I actually spend doing it. Which might explain quite a few of the buskers I'm seeing in my town ...
The answer is Smurffing.
So in the US, if you win a significant amount at a casino, you get a 1099. Because gambling earnings are taxed.
Theoretically you'd lose more than you'd win.
I mean, if you look at it like "I'm going into this casino to lose this money. The money I'm going to lose is the payment for hanging out in a room with lots of blinking lights, free well drinks and a guy in a vest, because that's my kind of place"...sure. Maybe avoid writing those gambling losses off of your taxes.
And that's a way to launder money
Looks like you could circumvent that by keeping the winnings small-ish, though I'm not sure if it's per-day, per-month or per-year. Though the taxes are probably not that big of a deal, compared to how unlikely (and thus suspicious) it is to win so much money by casino gambling.
At that point, buy one tank of gas and/or one grocery trip with the "found" cash a month for the rest of your life and hope nobody notices you seem to be spending $100 a month more than you earn.
This, I think, is the most reasonable way. Also, I don't think they do keep track to the cent, at least not yet
As mentioned earlier, do cash transactions with people on the market place or second-hand stores. Moving goods you want is easier if you stay away from shiny new stuff and big stores
Put your regular income into savings to save for a mortgage, debt paydown, and mutual aid and other big purchases. You now have 750k for daily expenses and fun money for the next half of your life.
breaking bad actually explained it pretty well
Lots of crooks just spend it on the black market. Hookers and blow. All cash, no receipts. No audits.
What does it say about me that I'm not interested in any of the stuff that a lot of money could buy on the black market?
That’s because the truely smart crooks keep it a secret.
Imagine a pool filled with DS9 dvds. That’s what they’re doing.
With that much money, just get a contact and pay a premium for normal stuff, no questions asked. "128 Gb DDR5. Cash drop. No questions."
Oh really? How many kidneys do you have?
Now, and this is the good part, think of how many you COULD have.
With 750k I'm not sure but it's probably at least 3 more!
That you are not in low level organized crime?
First thing I'd do is quickly acquire $750k of counterfeit bills from the dark web and then place the bag with the counterfeit bills back where I found it. Hopefully before anyone notices it's gone. I've seen too many movies to know how this ends.
Of course, returning the case full of fake money is when you'll get seen.
$750,000 is a lot of money. I have a job that pays me well, and maintaining my legal, safe lifestyle is worth more to me than getting away with more money.
I would search for anything that helps identify the owner, and failing that, confirm my idea with a lawyer. My understanding is that in my state, I have to give the money to the police for 60 days. If the owner fails to claim it, it legally becomes mine, and I have to pay income taxes on it. That'll make a mess of my tax filings for the year (suddenly I don't qualify for Roth IRA, for example) but I don't place myself in any legal danger.
It's a boring answer, but I'd much rather have a boring $440,000 than an exciting $750,000 and a constant threat looming over me.
Most police would just seize the money saying they suspect it was used in a crime. Why would they let some rando have it if it could buy the office a new MRAP?
That's why you try to do it with a lawyer, but they'll still steal it anyway.
The problem is that the charges are against the property itself, and it's a civil not a criminal charge. So the police only have to meet a minimal standard that there is probable cause. This could be as simple as claiming the only reason someone wouldn't be actively seeking that large amount of money through legal means would be that the money was involved with or acquired through illegal means.
If the police did seize the money, it would at least be tied up in court for years with extended legal expenses. Personally I would rather take my chances on laundering the money or an extended period of time.
If you're American, that'd be ≤$210 000 for the US government, including the military, ICE, and the US prison-industrial complex.
Let he who does not indirectly contribute to the military industrial complex cast the first stone
Who's casting stones? I'm giving my opinion to wt:thons reply to a hypothetical situation.
Thon says that thon is doing alright, so this $750 000 is a choice that might take a relatively short time to figure out: for some a few days, for others, a little longer, and for some a few minutes.
IMO there are at least 2 moral questions here.
Is this a case of some decent person somehow losing $750 000?
Should one report it, and while it might go to a decent person, it also might be returned to a bank or some similar or worse, and if unclaimed, ≤$210 000 goes to a government presided by Trump; or does one not report it maybe spend $37 500 of cash every year for the next 20 years?
If this was on the side of a snowy road by a barb wire fence, I’d just put it right back & carry on driving away from Fargo…
Take it and hold it for a few months, and if you find out what happened by the news, then give it to Scotty.
Depends who we’re afraid of here. Are we afraid of whoever lost the suitcase full of money, or the government, or both?
I’d assume whoever ditched a suitcase of money is a criminal, and unlikely to report it as lost with the serial numbers of the banknotes.
In that case I’d just use it for some day-to-day stuff, small luxuries, and whatever crap I want on Facebook marketplace that doesn’t need to be registered.
If I was convinced these banknotes came from a bank robbery or something of the sort, I think I’d only use it at somewhat sketchy looking flea markets / swap meets, and on holiday in foreign countries. But in that case it would be very hard to ever use all of it without trying to get a suspicious amount of cash through TSA and past customs.
I don't think suitcases full of money come with instructions on who you've offended by taking them. Figuring this out is the point of the thought experiment.
Like are they brand new notes with consecutive serial numbers, or wads of circulated cash rubber banded together?
I'm too poor to understand why this would be difficult
I belong to one of the poorest groups in my country and it's immediately obvious why it would be difficult. Banks are definitely going to get suspicious if you suddenly turn up with huge amounts of money of unclear origin and might notify the tax office, at which point you're toast if you didn't think of a good way to launder the money. If you officially declare that you found a suitcase of money, it's unclear whether you're allowed to keep it, and there's a chance that the ones who put/lost the suitcase in the bush learn of it (e.g. if the source is government corruption).
Probably less difficult to hide if you already have a half-decent income where you can theoretically save quite a bit of money by living really frugally.
Just stuff it with IOUs. It'll be fine. Saw it in a movie once.
They are as good as cash!
Money could be traced. Either ID, or suitcase is bugged, or someone has been watching.
and serial numbers
They can be filed off /s
maybe bring your own bags and put the money in them.
That really is a sweet case
Is that a Sync for Reddit screenshot?
RIP Reddit.
Hate that I know this, but that is actually the official Reddit app. Circa 2018, too, when it was somehow even worse than it is today.
https://www.reddit.com/r/redditmobile/comments/8h539l/reddit_app_doesnt_show_comments_in_the_screenshot/
I'm not knowledgeable enough to know exactly how this could work, but I think the first step would be to register a business or five in Nevis. Maybe a "consulting business".
I'm sure there's a way to do it, rich people launder money all the time.
My husband's into the One Piece TCG. There's some pretty significant money exchanging hands in that scene, so it should be fairly easy to launder that kind of money by buying cards in cash and selling them on Cardmarket (thus paying taxes on them). Just last week he was part of a deal where a card was sold for 26k in cash and nobody was phased by it haha
Make a deal with a rich person to buy a painting of yours for 740 k, and then you hand them the 750 k in cash. You now have 740 k in clean money, and they made 10 k in profit. Presumably some wealthy people can take on 750,000 in cash and laundry it through their businesses
Now you have an accomplice that can ruin you, intentionally or not.
True, good point
Money laundering works by mixing illegitimate money into a legitimate business and paying taxes on it. Most of that would be taxed at 35%, they would pay around $260,000 in taxes. Might want to pay them more than $10,000.
Why would the rich person do this? A small profit in exchange for being involved in something weird and shady.
That sounds like what rich people do. From reports I've heard rich people often do weird and shady shit to make a small profit. Even shit like steal a dollar bill out of a tip jar. Barely an exaggeration
I guess. I knew someone who was well off who got caught shoplifting. I'm not sure it was because she is well off though. Could be related I guess.
Yup, exactly the type of thing I'm talking about. Good example
Well, again, I guess. Because I say she was well off. Like compared to me. They weren't millionaires afaik. More like "we own 5 cars because we can" level of wealth. (Some of which were definitely used cars too btw)
Quote from a study:
And the rest of the article is interesting too
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/nov/04/wealthy-people-shoplift-rob-steal-why
You get a friend to paint a painting and then buy it from them for 750k.
But that doesn't accomplish anything, because you'd still have to be able to show where you got the 750k you paid them with.
Then you could have another friend paint a second painting and then sell it to the friend with the 750k. Now they both have paintings that have sold for 750k, it's like double what you had before. Plus the painting supplies are probably tax deductable
I'd suddenly start doing my laundry more.
You could say I'm laundering it.
I feel like the real answer is to pay for small purchases like groceries and restaurants in cash, save up until you have a legit savings account, and then invest in a business that, for some reason, gets a bunch of massive purchases that wouldnt be out of the ordinary