How often do you fart? This smart flatulence underwear can tell you that and more
Everyone farts. But not everyone tracks their farts.
Now, smart underwear is making a case for paying closer attention to what comes out of your body. Its creators said they hope that tracking flatulence could eventually give researchers new insight into digestive health — and how a person’s farts offer clues about what’s happening in the gut.
Brantley Hall, the brains behind the smart underwear and an associate professor at the University of Maryland’s department of cell biology and molecular genetics, said the team’s “ultimate mission is to help people eat high-fiber diets comfortably with low intestinal gas.”
https://www.cnn.com/2026/09/04/health/smart-underwear-fart-tracking-flatulence-wellnessOpen linkView original on piefed.social
45 replies
Voiced by Matt Berry. Or Brett Goldstein lol "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
Can I add a trumpet sound while I'm farting?
I would like a gentle flute playing in C minor.
Try clenching a little.
La cucaracha!!!
Ah, a sudden, unannounced arrival. No warning, Pure unfiltered audacity, a very traditional approach. A true elevator surprise, if you will. Notes of beans with a hint of yesterday’s chili, but there’s a surprising top note of coriander. Indian food? Lingering finish, with a metallic tang that suggests a diet rich in processed meats. I would give it a solid 7/10. Slightly above average smell due to interesting notes. Other than that, a very average performance. I suggest you try a bit harder next time to explore the auditory dimension.
That’s my secret, I’m always farting
nice try big data
Harvest your fart data for the highest bidder
Might be easier to track when I'm not farting.
butt does it have AI (anal intelligence)?
No, but the probe itself does have AI (anally inserted)
It also helps you come up with new thoughts, with the AI (Anal Inspiration) setting.
The really fucked up part of this is the fact they are training AI on your farts so that some day AI will be able to realistically reproduce fart scents that smell exactly like yours without your consent
And then they will say this is their intellectual property and you will be charged a licensing fee if a sniffer detects an infringement.
They'll sell you custom dietary supplements so your farts can smell like your favorite celebrities.
Why though
Could be to learn about your digestive health, could be to discover a new fetish. Who’s to say?
More crappy data about you to sell (pun intended)
Instantly on the cloud.
MyCloud
I don't need special undies to tell me I fart a lot.
FitButt™
iFart
Once per week but it lasts 6 hours.
I would, genuinely, rather shove a probe up my ass or collect a stool sample than wear some weird-ass smart underwear.
*weird ass-smart underwear
Imagine your underwear needing internet connection and update's every time you try to use them. What a time to be alive.
Yes, but Fartmaxxing had never been easier!
You know, there are performers (fartists) who would gladly pay for next-level fartmaxxing.
"it's Headley!"
Smartpipe at home...
If it tracks smell, you are going to need a bigger data center.
Wait, this isn’t ![email protected]?
Relevant username.
until it stops working or the company goes under, then you are stuck with a useless overprice underwear.
God, I love capitalism…
"They'll put a camera up your ass if you're not paying enough attention" meme becoming reality with the fartsurveillance panties
Meanwhile, my spouse shouts "I tooted!" across the house because it's funny. I just don't count.
So they’re saying they want to guide folks to diets with lower farting by… telling folks when and how often they fart?
Like you don’t know that already? and who the fuck is living this sad life that needs AI drawers to strava their ass???
Am I living under a rock such that as it turns out most people have uncontrollable flatulence running rampant to the point we need medically enhanced AI? And they can’t tell nor track how often they pass gas????????
Is farting such a necessary thing that folks can’t live their daily life without AI intervention? Am I living on some parallel earth where my life isn’t focused on farting gas like a Junji Ito comic?
Is the world mostly folks who are about to explode from gas at any given moment?
Forget about getting anywhere on the major online dating sites if you don't post a good, Certified FartScore on your profile.
I think my farts have become silent since becoming diabetic, so I’d like to know why.
Oh wow, underwear I gotta charge...
No thanks
What the fuck do you MEAN Smart Flatulence Underwear
Op is a staunch defender of computer generated kiddie porn , And it's clearly a fake account designed to generate engagement. Block this user.