Well it's because of the notion that the very reason of being alive is to propagate more life. That's the fundamental nature of life because without that there would be no life. So if you think that life is worth while, it would be logical that you contribute. Otherwise it would be somewhat selfish. And such a mentality of not wanting to sacrifice one's freedom in order to be a parent and take on that responsibility comes across as immature.
I don't think you should have kids if you don't want to. I'm just explaining why some people find it bad and upsetting that you don't.
there's billions of people in the world, there's zero impact on whether the humanity will continue or not. being upset at someone for not procreating is silly and having kids just for the sake of propagating life as if people were scarce is ridiculous.
It's just a logical argument such as if everyone decided not to have kids, humans would go extinct pretty quickly. Not that I really care. I'm happy to be alive so I'm glad my parents weren't against having kids.
i get where "if everyone does that then it'd be bad" comes from but it doesn't apply here, if you look around do you realistically see it as a necessity for everyone to have kids to save the humanity from going extinct? if one or few people says that they don't want to procreate, will every single person in the world follow suit? in case that i live my life without having kids, what's the worst that will happen to humanity because of my choice?
i'm also happy to be alive, but i also have reasons why i don't want to have kids and it's not like i'm taking life away from someone with that decision.
not having kids = selfish has got to be in the top 5 dumbest arguments i've ever heard, especially considering that kids today and their kids and so on are destined to grow up on a toxic hellscape wasteland planet.
"oh the kids will fix it"
LOL so not having kids = selfish, but having kids so they can fix the problems of the last couple hundred years = generous. got it
and you're confusing "purpose of life" with biological instinct. yes, all living things from bacteria and viruses on up the evolutionary ladder are hardwired to engage in behavior that results in the passing on of their genes. "purpose" is a cognitive construct invented by philosophers who couldn't stand being just animals. there's no formula for it, or even quantifiable evidence that there is such a thing. so my "purpose" is to not have kids
I think it's always seemed like the world was going to hell. It's all relative.
I don't care if you have kids. I don't really care if humans go extinct. I'm happy to be alive so I'm glad my parents wanted to have kids,
I don’t think I’ll ever have kids precisely because of how much work and responsibility they are. But if I ever have a kid, it would not be mine; this world is too fucked up to bring a new person into, I would instead adopt one of the many kids who need a parent
Even if the world was a much better place, if you don't want kids you shouldn't be a parent. But that's what they want, they want bad parents so they csn act like they're better.
Don't feel guilty. People had kids right before famines, literal world wars, local wars, etc. and funnily enough, the world has never been better (in certain aspects, like survivability of small children). You are literally what keeps humanity alive!
Not to mention that we can better the world before your children have become adults, so keep that as a goal to work towards.
Because having society collapse due to a lack of people is going to hit everyone? And no, I don't believe immigration is a proper solution. And yes, overpopulation is still a bad thing, but the countries that are reducing aren't part of that problem...
Lmao. Society will be fine with less people. If society needs more people, then they can fucking pay them to have children. Literally, it's that fucking easy. I have friends with three fucking jobs, when would they get to see their kids?
WE are society. And I agree that something has gone terribly wrong since the 60s/70s regarding worker pay. Are your friends ready to get a fourth and fifth job when the boomers have all retired? Because someone needs to pay for them, as someone will one day pay for us... But who is going to pay, if we won't have enough kids?
She's right in that they are a lot of work, but they're worth it if you want children in the first place.
It's all about what you think the work is worth, I guess. Anything in life that you want, and you need to work for, you do the work if you want it badly enough. Pretty simple.
That's not really relevant to the point I'm making but, yeah, it's not a consensual act to have offspring. Nothing that's ever been born has chosen to be born. But countless things have been happy they were.
In the words of Stephen Colbert, "It's a gift to exist."
She would probably have to get a second job to support them which means she would never see them and she would be working all the time and miserable.
Having a kid costs so much money it's hard to explain even to my parents one of whom was a grant writer and nonprofit organizer for children's healthcare.
If you don't have at least $50,000 in the bank that you could spend without suffering you're not ready for what the hospital is going to do to you. We have totally fucked this whole country up.
But we need new people here. We don't necessarily need Americans to make them. Plenty of people see what we do here and come here anyway. They are willing and ready to make the kind of sacrifices necessary have another generation of their family, and we generally as a society are benefiting from their ambitions to do that.
I don't understand how so many people can be so pro-birth and anti-human at the same time, but I don't begrudge people who run the numbers and say the math doesn't math and so abstain from having children.
I need you Americans to understand this clearly, my partner and I have had two kids in a hospital and we paid exactly zero dollars. I mean, philosophically we pay taxes so technically we paid for it, but like, Jesus you guys have it mixed up.
i think that if someone is legit mad because you don't have kids, then it's not that you don't have kids, it's that your extra time and money aren't thrown out the window, and their "it's SoOoOoOo worth it, though!!!" is replied to with "of course it is! drinks after work? no? maybe over the weekend? no? just let us know, i guess..."
I'll take spending time with my god-kids (god-children?) than go out with my team members. They're good people, but my relation with them is much less intimate and stable.
Having children puts me in the minority where I work. I'd say maybe 30% have children, but it's never really discussed. I guess I've seen it elsewhere, but I assume this is a social pressure mostly aimed at women.
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How or why people feel so entitled to insist that other people have kids is beyond me | Spyke
38 replies
I personally want to work for a world where the choice of having an offspring doesn't ruin you financially
It wasn't a loss of respect they sensed, it was envy.
My fiancée and I just flatly say we can’t have kids and that shuts most people up.
Never mind the reason why we can’t have kids is because we don’t like them.
Why don't you like kids?
Why not ? People don't like many thing, they are allowed to not like kid aren't they ?
Well it's because of the notion that the very reason of being alive is to propagate more life. That's the fundamental nature of life because without that there would be no life. So if you think that life is worth while, it would be logical that you contribute. Otherwise it would be somewhat selfish. And such a mentality of not wanting to sacrifice one's freedom in order to be a parent and take on that responsibility comes across as immature.
I don't think you should have kids if you don't want to. I'm just explaining why some people find it bad and upsetting that you don't.
there's billions of people in the world, there's zero impact on whether the humanity will continue or not. being upset at someone for not procreating is silly and having kids just for the sake of propagating life as if people were scarce is ridiculous.
It's just a logical argument such as if everyone decided not to have kids, humans would go extinct pretty quickly. Not that I really care. I'm happy to be alive so I'm glad my parents weren't against having kids.
i get where "if everyone does that then it'd be bad" comes from but it doesn't apply here, if you look around do you realistically see it as a necessity for everyone to have kids to save the humanity from going extinct? if one or few people says that they don't want to procreate, will every single person in the world follow suit? in case that i live my life without having kids, what's the worst that will happen to humanity because of my choice?
i'm also happy to be alive, but i also have reasons why i don't want to have kids and it's not like i'm taking life away from someone with that decision.
not having kids = selfish has got to be in the top 5 dumbest arguments i've ever heard, especially considering that kids today and their kids and so on are destined to grow up on a toxic hellscape wasteland planet.
"oh the kids will fix it"
LOL so not having kids = selfish, but having kids so they can fix the problems of the last couple hundred years = generous. got it
and you're confusing "purpose of life" with biological instinct. yes, all living things from bacteria and viruses on up the evolutionary ladder are hardwired to engage in behavior that results in the passing on of their genes. "purpose" is a cognitive construct invented by philosophers who couldn't stand being just animals. there's no formula for it, or even quantifiable evidence that there is such a thing. so my "purpose" is to not have kids
I think it's always seemed like the world was going to hell. It's all relative.
I don't care if you have kids. I don't really care if humans go extinct. I'm happy to be alive so I'm glad my parents wanted to have kids,
If they don't know anyone who chose differently, then their choice just cannot have been a mistake
We need your kids for meat and organs.
Better to not have kids if you don't love them.
I don’t think I’ll ever have kids precisely because of how much work and responsibility they are. But if I ever have a kid, it would not be mine; this world is too fucked up to bring a new person into, I would instead adopt one of the many kids who need a parent
I think it's a little crazy to bring children into the world as it stands today. I feel really guilty for having my kids, I should have foreseen this.
Even if the world was a much better place, if you don't want kids you shouldn't be a parent. But that's what they want, they want bad parents so they csn act like they're better.
Don't feel guilty. People had kids right before famines, literal world wars, local wars, etc. and funnily enough, the world has never been better (in certain aspects, like survivability of small children). You are literally what keeps humanity alive!
Not to mention that we can better the world before your children have become adults, so keep that as a goal to work towards.
Yeah we have to plan how to take put billionaires.
In a world full of dragons, raise dragon slayers.
Because having society collapse due to a lack of people is going to hit everyone? And no, I don't believe immigration is a proper solution. And yes, overpopulation is still a bad thing, but the countries that are reducing aren't part of that problem...
Lmao. Society will be fine with less people. If society needs more people, then they can fucking pay them to have children. Literally, it's that fucking easy. I have friends with three fucking jobs, when would they get to see their kids?
WE are society. And I agree that something has gone terribly wrong since the 60s/70s regarding worker pay. Are your friends ready to get a fourth and fifth job when the boomers have all retired? Because someone needs to pay for them, as someone will one day pay for us... But who is going to pay, if we won't have enough kids?
So the option you give is more work or bringing a innocent to the world to make them work in hell... Yeah clearly a visionary
Let me state first that I LOVE my kids and enjoy every second with them.
That being said, if you realized you don't like having kids after the fact then misery loves company and kids are A LOT of work and expense.
Please, if you realized you don’t like having kids after the fact, do NOT have more after the first! Why so many go on to have more than the one!
She's right in that they are a lot of work, but they're worth it if you want children in the first place.
It's all about what you think the work is worth, I guess. Anything in life that you want, and you need to work for, you do the work if you want it badly enough. Pretty simple.
But they can't choose to be born. Having children is intrinsically a non-consensual act.
That's not really relevant to the point I'm making but, yeah, it's not a consensual act to have offspring. Nothing that's ever been born has chosen to be born. But countless things have been happy they were.
In the words of Stephen Colbert, "It's a gift to exist."
Obviously quite dependent on circumstances...
She would probably have to get a second job to support them which means she would never see them and she would be working all the time and miserable.
Having a kid costs so much money it's hard to explain even to my parents one of whom was a grant writer and nonprofit organizer for children's healthcare.
If you don't have at least $50,000 in the bank that you could spend without suffering you're not ready for what the hospital is going to do to you. We have totally fucked this whole country up.
But we need new people here. We don't necessarily need Americans to make them. Plenty of people see what we do here and come here anyway. They are willing and ready to make the kind of sacrifices necessary have another generation of their family, and we generally as a society are benefiting from their ambitions to do that.
I don't understand how so many people can be so pro-birth and anti-human at the same time, but I don't begrudge people who run the numbers and say the math doesn't math and so abstain from having children.
I need you Americans to understand this clearly, my partner and I have had two kids in a hospital and we paid exactly zero dollars. I mean, philosophically we pay taxes so technically we paid for it, but like, Jesus you guys have it mixed up.
I see that among my wifes friends and i think its the genuine wish to be at a similar stage in life. To do playdates and shit together.
Misery loves company
Shared suffering is halved suffrring we say haha
i think that if someone is legit mad because you don't have kids, then it's not that you don't have kids, it's that your extra time and money aren't thrown out the window, and their "it's SoOoOoOo worth it, though!!!" is replied to with "of course it is! drinks after work? no? maybe over the weekend? no? just let us know, i guess..."
I'll take spending time with my god-kids (god-children?) than go out with my team members. They're good people, but my relation with them is much less intimate and stable.
I’ve never met a parent irl that didn’t respect my choice.
They always agree with my reasoning and they either say that they really wanted them anyway or that it just happened and they have to deal with it.
Maybe when I was in my twenties there were some weirdos that would say shit like, “they’d be so beautiful”.
Having children puts me in the minority where I work. I'd say maybe 30% have children, but it's never really discussed. I guess I've seen it elsewhere, but I assume this is a social pressure mostly aimed at women.