ADHD Tax Vent
Fucking hell. I lost 70$ and my IDs and even someone else's ID. I was so busy with packing, travelling and planning that I lost my wallet somewhere along the way.
The one time, I dared to forget to keep constantly thinking about my wallet's location, I lose it.
The worst part is I skipped a proper dinner today because I thought that I was being frugal and saving money.
Fuck. Fuck.
Lessons? I guess
- Wear tighter pants
- Don't keep cash in the wallet
- Sleep and eat well
22 replies
I've been getting so pissed off recently with the amount of care and effort I have to put into husbanding all of these things. And the moment I loosen my grip even slightly I get punished terribly by losing or accidentally destroying something important and having to do a buggerload of extra work as a consequence.
The feeling it produces is like something like claustrophobia.
For example, I had an irreplaceable immobiliser fob for my old car. Of course I lost it, and had to laboriously input a numerical code by turning the key back and forth according to blinking light each and every single time I wanted to start the car.
After about 9 months of this ballache I incredibly found the fob hung on a field gate a couple of miles away from where I live, and was amazed that it still worked with just a fresh battery. From that point on I religiously and unfailingly kept the fob tied to my trousers at all times.
Then one day I took it off my trousers outdoors for the first time and boom - gone again instantly.
Except this time I had also lost the code I was putting in with the key turns. I literally had to sit in my car going through the 10,000 possible four-digit codes until I worked out what it was again. It took hours and I had to concentrate the entire time.
Haaaave you considered getting the immo removed? If it's aftermarket, shouldn't be too hard, if it's OE... Well, there's a nonzero chance it's even easier, or it could be fairly hard, or maybe impossible.
I most certainly have. I actually had 'key cover' insurance but when I tried to claim on it the insurer couldn't find any auto-locksmith who would attempt to fix my model of immobiliser. I also got a local engineer to try and bypass it but he couldn't work it out and had to give up... I got so fed up with vehicle's theft protection that I actually wanted someone to steal it.
Out of curiosity, unless your car is so super specific that you'd end up doxxing yourself, what immobilizer (or car if it's an original immobilizer) is it?
As somebody who still struggles with this immensely, the phrase I've heard that I've been trying to internalize recently is, "don't put it down. Put it away".
That said, horizontal surfaces are still my arch nemesis. All they do is attract clutter.
Edit: for my wallet, putting it away means putting it on my bedside table or in the left pocket of the pair of pants I will be wearing the next day. By sticking to those two places, I've definitely done a lot better about not losing it
Following somebody else's comment about how "taxes" help build communities, I'm now calling it ADHD fees (or ADHD hidden fees if you prefer the long version)
That whole situation sucks. I like to buy rock climbing pants because lots of them have zipper pockets while still looking like typical chinos.
I wonder if ADHD fine would work better, because of the implication that it is a mandatory penalty.
My pants do have zipper pockets, but would you know it ...I forgot to zip them up.
That sums up my emotional level right now ;-)
I'm ADHD fine :)
Oh man. I've done it a few times. The worst part is all the paper work and phone calls to replace the important stuff. Ugh. Best wishes to you.
Thanks
lol, I think I threw my wallet in the dumpster before a backpacking trip one time, because I think I had it in hand when taking out the trash. 3 hours later on the car ride up I realized I didn’t have it on me, and never found it
It's nice to know that other people have also dumpster dumped a valuable.
My dad and I searched for said valuable for hours before finally giving up.
My dad wasn't happy that I threw something so costly in the dumpster. And though he wasn't a dick about it, I've always carried the pain for throwing it.
Been there
I've also had lots of facepalm moments like this. so much that it's contributed to my OCD and unwanted thoughts/recollections.
dunno if this would work for you, but one of my strategies is to attach important things to my body or clothes (but not jackets, hats, or other items that can be easily taken off).
useful tools for this:
along with these, i adopted a policy of never setting things down on a public/outdoor surface. the object is always in one of two locations: my hand, or it's designated pouch/pocket.
Ok so Im not diagnosed with anything but im kinda old and I was the introverted kid and I have always been sorta "wierd". I made this contraption from various pieces from dog stuff and such to create sorta a sash to hold the retractible leash so I could have my hands free when needed (helps with picking up dog poop). Then I attached a towel to wipe the paws but it ended up with these metal hoops or such as part of it and I had already liked using carbiners as keychains and I had gotten this zipper wallet that had a keychain loop. So I put that on its own carbiner and along with the keys they attach and now its kinda a bandollier. Its been a massive thing for working for me. It is a thing though in that its part of what makes me the wierd guy. Im ok with that but I kinda wish people could recognize when something, even though it goes against fashion and norms, is incredibly practical and smart.
the struggle is real. thanks for sharing your experience. I've also been the weird guy in the class/office most of my life. i tend to think of it as the curse of early adopters or clever adopters. doesn't necessarily make easy.
at least we have strategies and keep finding new ones to get our stuff done, or keep track of things.
btw my version of the bandolier is a shoulder harness with pouches below each armpit, plus dangling keys, hand sanitizer, and my diy door handle puller. and carabiners, carabiners, carabiners. 🤣
yeah if I ever don't have a dog im was thinking of moving to just that. I tend to hate to buy things though so I may still keep my slapdash thing. I really would like some pouches though.
Thanks for the ideas.
I think this will be my golden rule gooing forward. Designated pocket in my bag.
I'm glad if it helps you.
FWIW I've lost my bag a few times also. i hope that's not the case for you.
i switched to a bag that's small enough i never have to take it off, even in a movie theater or while eating. preferably even when using the restroom.
I think wallets are a bad system we are all taught to use. Trying to use the system harder doesn't fix the problem, it just increases the stress. Instead I recommend trying what I have done.
I have a belt with some bags attached. They are Molle bags because they are useful, but anything would do. My car/house keys have a clip and my wallet, first aid kit, power bank, and other everyday items have pouches they live in. In order to leave the house I must, by definition, have my belt with all my stuff.
I think of it like a safety interlock. If you literally cannot run the blender with the lid off you cannot put your hand in while it is running. It is a type of passive safety and allows you to spend no mental energy trying to remember things, the reminder is built in to the system not your mind.
Have you tried setting an alarm?
Sorry, I've just been hit too much recently with useless suggestions on how to solve all my problems to resist posting that. heh.
I'm sorry, that sucks. :(
I'm going through my own ADHD tax - we moved in Virginia and I can't log in to pay personal property tax and I need to call thm to find out what to do so it's slowly getting later and later on it. heh. The fees aren't much but I think if I don't resolve it in another month or so, it might escalate to unpleasant things........ so I just need to call. heh
I went to the DMV for a title transfer and forgot...the title.