For all of my fellow Chicagoans who, like me, are seeing this with no warning or preparation, I can share support resources, and I’m here if you just need to talk about it.
It's fine, that's just blood from their nose because of the head rush from slurping the entire garden up with that courageous bite. Do not correct me, this belief is going to get me through the rest of the day
In the Holy name of Da Bears, I swear on The Bean I will deliver smack down so hard, your grandchildren will taste celery salt and pickles! I'll waterboard you in Old Style until you see reason, ya cheesehead!
What difference would it make to the shitpost if it was an AI edited card in the picture, gimp edited, or someone printed out the card themselves? Or even they used AI to make the card and then printed it out and took the picture.
I think this is how doctors expect me to answer auestions about alcohol and smoking. Ive smoked kne cigarette ever, and a single beer gets me drunk for the night, about once a week. Doctors hear that and think im having 3 hot dogs before i get to work
People seem to be throwing a tiff over the bite from the center of the hotdog, but the real sins is not putting mustard on the dog and putting ketchup on the hotdog, equally.
Years sober alcoholic here realizing despite being an often loud obnoxious sloppy drunk getting in several fights (from running my mouth not attacking people), I never was cut off. (Except once by a buddy at his house party, which feels like the opposite of how this distribution should land.)
Is it that I just instinctively found dives where my shenanigans were tolerated, or does it take some kind of lower bat like attacking or sexually harassing people?
Just curious about others' experience. Thanks to any willing to share getting cut off stories.
I think a money-making establishment will always have a background incentive to make money, which will inevitably interfere with helping a person or even following the law, whereas your friend has mainly just the relational incentives to help you not hurt yourself or put yourself in a bad place
That brings back a memory where I was early 20's, and a coach who took a group of us out drinking taught me specifically that.
Seeing coach starting to square up with some other asshole, "Hey coach security's watching us. Maybe we should just go." He laughs "Do you have any idea how much we've spent here? If anything, they're thinking of kicking him out."
He was right... technically with that specific statement. In every important way, he was very wrong. He was someone I respected immensely though, and I definitely absorbed the lesson at the time
Except that financial incentive makes you 100% responsible if that patron you let keep drinking leaves and kills someone on the way home.
Bars and restaurants have an obligation to know when to cut people off. They have a legal responsibility, and if they fail that could lose their license forever.
I'm pretty sure that's only specific states or locales in the USA with liability laws for over serving. But also good luck to the prosecution proving a single bartender or establishment was the reason a person was overly intoxicated. In my non lawyer opinion a simple defense of "idk if she drank more before or after showing up or was on any drugs" would probably be more than enough to give reasonable doubt. But IANAL so maybe I'm off base.
I've never actually heard of a case of that being prosecuted in Ohio (where I live and we have laws about overserving customers). I'm sure if I look it up I could find something but it just seems like the sort of thing an AG would have difficulty getting charges to stick.
But congrats on the getting sober now. That is a monumental achievement that most people never have to struggle with and you should be very proud indeed of it. Very well done indeed.
This is a joke. That card is something bartenders give people who are drunk in some bars. Someone edited one to say Costco and photoshopped it onto a picture from a food court
As someone who has worked in bars, that's one sure fire way to piss off someone in a drunk state. You need to bring it with conviction and without making things confrontational.
Hiding behind a formality is probably the worst idea.
Well yeah, I didn’t say it’s a good idea. And as of covid days, practically every interaction type you can think up will piss someone off to an irrational, performative and base instinct level that makes some wonder if humanity had a good run but it’s all downhill from here.
Surprised Lidl didn't put up a picture of me and a notice "do not allow to buy veg" when they were selling packs of veg for a few pennies before Christmas last year. Several other shops did the same but I bought most from Lidl.
Pickled it in bulk (think branston pickle kinda thing) and still got several 0.5-1L jars of it left. Also ate a lot fresh, some cooked into stews and frozen. 10s of kg in total.
I live by the sea. Almost tempting to try out seawater pickling if they do it again. That is cheaper than vinegar. Use some 25L brewing buckets?
It's for your own good. JD Vance is on his way to collect the daily dogwater tax, and if he sees what you did you're toast (or whatever makes sense, please and thank you) 🛋️
Both of my grandparents had them, not sure if they still do. Places used to have like .50 refills and didn't list size limits, so Muricans started to buy and make bigger and bigger tubs to fill with liquid sugar.
There are levels of "functioning", and most of these people probably couldn't be called "fully functioning." More like semi-coherent, only technically self-aware flesh blobs that somehow continue to have a pulse.
I don't know what the average throughput of a human is, or how long people typically spend drinking at costco, but it still seems like that's more liquid than you could get through them in a reasonable meal break.
120 replies
What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Viennese meal?
1-Great reference, thank you
2-The charge is taking a bite out of the middle like a fucking psychopath
Oh yeah, I forgot that doing that was "antisocial behavior".
THIS IS DEMOCRACY MANIFEST
Get your hand off my wiener!
No, it's a Costco hot dog.
Listen, man. I like to abuse my weiner as much as the next guy, but this is just excessive.
I'm picturing the ketchup smeared all over his face while reading this.
Jesus, I wouldn’t even do this to a terrorist hotdog at a blacksite. Even I have limits.
Put this in the dictionary alongside the definition of Wrong.
He watched you bite the dog, and knew it was time.
You got off easy, sicko.
This is a severe underreaction. OP should be locked up safely away from society.
Isn't that why they're on Lemmy?
whatever happened to that hotdog is not right.
That's why he's cut off. It's his first one.
The weirdest thing here is them calling the Costco cashier a "line cook"
How you ate that hotdog is an affront to all mankind.
For all of my fellow Chicagoans who, like me, are seeing this with no warning or preparation, I can share support resources, and I’m here if you just need to talk about it.
Edit: for those in need of assistance.
It's fine, that's just blood from their nose because of the head rush from slurping the entire garden up with that courageous bite. Do not correct me, this belief is going to get me through the rest of the day
One Christmas I asked for the neon green relish for Christmas. My cool bil (who ran a hot dog stand) sent me a big assjar. Hell yeah.
You’ve got it. The more it looks like it would glow in the dark the better.
Wait does Chicago Costco use Vienna beef??
I doubt it. Vienna beef is just The Dog in a Chicago Dog for the most part.
Hey, I'm here for you, too. We're all here for you.
Well, I'm here for you as long as you don't put a drop of fucking ketchup on that dog.
Ketchup is great on hotdogs, FIGHT ME MALORT BEING!
Ketchup and English mustard is great. Just don't apply the mustard like an America.
In the Holy name of Da Bears, I swear on The Bean I will deliver smack down so hard, your grandchildren will taste celery salt and pickles! I'll waterboard you in Old Style until you see reason, ya cheesehead!
If you can’t throat an entire Costco hot dog wiener in one bite you don’t deserve to eat it.
I had an ex that could/would have done that, on cue, anytime. Their skill was unmatched, their dedication unwavering, their gag reflex nonexistent.
I miss them.
You dated the fastest hot dog shooter in the northwest? Omg
You would, you would.
Idk, that card looks like some AI which makes this whole post slop to me.
What difference would it make to the shitpost if it was an AI edited card in the picture, gimp edited, or someone printed out the card themselves? Or even they used AI to make the card and then printed it out and took the picture.
Why would one be slop and not the other?
AI ads the stench of stolen work to the mix.
All of the difference.
Bill Shorten eating a hot dog:
Surely that's a snag, not a hot dog?
Obligatory wkuk sketch
https://youtu.be/MRh91b74zTU
I love that it starts with 0-2 hotdogs and then escalates to 7 by lunchtime.
"Is that bad?"
"Well, it's not good."
Doctor: Uh So, Timmy, I got your bloodwork in, and I have a couple of questions.
Timmy: Okay.
Doctor: Just about how many hot dogs do you eat a day?
Timmy: How many hot dogs?
Doctor: Yeah.
Timmy: Geez. I don't know. I mean, you know, some days I could eat a couple and some days I don't eat any.
Doctor: Okay. Let's just say for an average. Take your whole week and try to figure out what your daily amount would be.
Timmy: I have no idea.
Doctor: Just try.
Timmy: Okay. A whole week average per day would be something like, I don't know, seven.
Doctor: Seven hot dogs?
Timmy: Seven, yeah.
Doctor: A day?
Timmy: ls that high?
Doctor: It's a little high.
Timmy: ls that bad?
Doctor: Well It's not good.
Timmy: I mean, l'm just ball-parking here, you know?
Doctor: Sure, sure. Timmy, I wanna try something if you don't mind. Walk me through one of your days.
Timmy: Walk you through my day?
Doctor: Yeah, just take me through a day in a life of Timmy.
Timmy: Okay. Well I wake up, and I take a shower. And, you know, get ready for work. I go downstairs and I have a bagel and something for breakfast.
Doctor: And something?
Timmy: A hot dog.
Doctor: Hot dog. Okay.
Timmy: I mean, I do usually eat a hot dog there.
Doctor: Okay.
Timmy: Then I take the train to work.
Doctor: Slow down. Slow down. Does anything happen on the way to work?
Timmy: Oh. Ha ha. I almost forgot. On the way to the subway there is a hotdog stand, so I usually have one or two, yeah.
Doctor: Two hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah. I usually have two hotdogs before work.
Doctor: So that's three hot dogs before work.
Timmy: Right, yeah. If you're gonna count the one at home. I mean, this is all just breakfast, you know?
Doctor: No, I understand. I get it.
Timmy: Then I just go through my whole day at work.
Doctor: Okay.Hold up. Walk me through your workday. What happens at lunch?
Timmy: Oh, lunch, well I mean, some days I'll just blow through lunch because of how busy I am and all.
Doctor: Really?
Timmy: Well l'm pretty sure I did that once.
Doctor: Okay. Well, on the days that you're not ''blowing through lunch'' what do you have?
Timmy: Well, on those days sometimes it could just be a salad.
Doctor: Could it?
Timmy: Yeah. But it's usually--
Doctor: It's usually hot dogs?
Timmy: Yeah, it's usually hot dogs.
Doctor: How many hot dogs?
Timmy: I don't know. Anywhere between one and four.
Doctor: Four hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah, that's probably safe.
Doctor: Well, I hope there's no more hot dogs in the day 'cause we're up to seven now.
Timmy: Yeah, on second thought, that number might be a little low.
My friend how long did you spend on this
Not long. I found the script online. It was a little jumbled and missing the character names. I just added those and cleaned it up a bit.
Fair enough
This is absolute gold thank you so much.
I think this is how doctors expect me to answer auestions about alcohol and smoking. Ive smoked kne cigarette ever, and a single beer gets me drunk for the night, about once a week. Doctors hear that and think im having 3 hot dogs before i get to work
They expectedly don't serve to barbarians.
People seem to be throwing a tiff over the bite from the center of the hotdog, but the real sins is not putting mustard on the dog and putting ketchup on the hotdog, equally.
The real sin is calling it katsup.
Fixed. Was typing on my phone, and it autocorrected to a learned word that my kid put in.
"What this food really needs is to taste like warm plant farts, bring on the mustard!"
^-^ ^You^
^(this^ ^post^ ^brought^ ^to^ ^you^ ^by^ ^the^ ^ketchup^ ^gang)^
Better than sweetened tomato taints
What's wrong with ketchup on a hotdog bro
Its basic hotdog etiquette to not use ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18. Mustard, relish, onions, cheese and chili are acceptable.
Disagree, put whatever you want on your hot dog, who am I to judge?
You're god, bork. Ultimately, you will judge us all.
But it's basic human etiquette to not eat stuff you are allergic too
You're allergic to chilli, cheese, onions, and relish?
Mustard and relish yeah
So then a chilli dog with onions is right up your alley.
Funny
Years sober alcoholic here realizing despite being an often loud obnoxious sloppy drunk getting in several fights (from running my mouth not attacking people), I never was cut off. (Except once by a buddy at his house party, which feels like the opposite of how this distribution should land.)
Is it that I just instinctively found dives where my shenanigans were tolerated, or does it take some kind of lower bat like attacking or sexually harassing people?
Just curious about others' experience. Thanks to any willing to share getting cut off stories.
I think a money-making establishment will always have a background incentive to make money, which will inevitably interfere with helping a person or even following the law, whereas your friend has mainly just the relational incentives to help you not hurt yourself or put yourself in a bad place
That brings back a memory where I was early 20's, and a coach who took a group of us out drinking taught me specifically that.
Seeing coach starting to square up with some other asshole, "Hey coach security's watching us. Maybe we should just go." He laughs "Do you have any idea how much we've spent here? If anything, they're thinking of kicking him out."
He was right... technically with that specific statement. In every important way, he was very wrong. He was someone I respected immensely though, and I definitely absorbed the lesson at the time
Except that financial incentive makes you 100% responsible if that patron you let keep drinking leaves and kills someone on the way home.
Bars and restaurants have an obligation to know when to cut people off. They have a legal responsibility, and if they fail that could lose their license forever.
I'm pretty sure that's only specific states or locales in the USA with liability laws for over serving. But also good luck to the prosecution proving a single bartender or establishment was the reason a person was overly intoxicated. In my non lawyer opinion a simple defense of "idk if she drank more before or after showing up or was on any drugs" would probably be more than enough to give reasonable doubt. But IANAL so maybe I'm off base.
I've never actually heard of a case of that being prosecuted in Ohio (where I live and we have laws about overserving customers). I'm sure if I look it up I could find something but it just seems like the sort of thing an AG would have difficulty getting charges to stick.
Maybe it's rur... rurality?
While I did sometimes get way too drunk in city bars too, usually that would have been with a group and had far less exciting adventures.
Also, it occurred to me that there's a pretty large slice of those times where I was blackout, so maybe I was cut off many more times than I remember.
😮💨 I kinda regret commenting about it. Starting to remember a lot of embarrassing shit
But congrats on the getting sober now. That is a monumental achievement that most people never have to struggle with and you should be very proud indeed of it. Very well done indeed.
Until you are bothering other customers, they won't do anything.
I don’t understand
This is a joke. That card is something bartenders give people who are drunk in some bars. Someone edited one to say Costco and photoshopped it onto a picture from a food court
So he ate too many? Or he ate from the middle?
Middle
As someone who has worked in bars, that's one sure fire way to piss off someone in a drunk state. You need to bring it with conviction and without making things confrontational.
Hiding behind a formality is probably the worst idea.
Well yeah, I didn’t say it’s a good idea. And as of covid days, practically every interaction type you can think up will piss someone off to an irrational, performative and base instinct level that makes some wonder if humanity had a good run but it’s all downhill from here.
You can't abuse the loss leader.
Surprised Lidl didn't put up a picture of me and a notice "do not allow to buy veg" when they were selling packs of veg for a few pennies before Christmas last year. Several other shops did the same but I bought most from Lidl.
Pickled it in bulk (think branston pickle kinda thing) and still got several 0.5-1L jars of it left. Also ate a lot fresh, some cooked into stews and frozen. 10s of kg in total.
I live by the sea. Almost tempting to try out seawater pickling if they do it again. That is cheaper than vinegar. Use some 25L brewing buckets?
Look at how they started eating the hot dog.
My son pretty much eats his hot dogs this way. He eats a lot of foods this way. When he eats half a donut, it's usually the top half.
My partner eats muffins from the top down. Sometimes, I've caught her just eating the tops off the muffins and leaving the bottoms.
There an episode of Seinfeld addressing this behavior
Apperantly i've been eating muffins wrong my entire life?
That's the best half - all the rest is shitty dough that only serves as a delivery vehicle for icing/whatever
That's why fairy buns are the best and it's an international crime that American style muffins have replaced them here in the UK.
A fairy bun is a teeny muffin bun with more decorative stuff on top. They are to muffins what sliders are to burgers.
Is that different to what we call a cupcake in NZ?
Those are probably an even better example
Thanks comments, I wouldn’t have understood otherwise. I wouldn’t eat a hotdog like this, but I think it’s okay
I dont understand...
They’re eating the hot dog wrong.
I don't see the hot dog going in and out of their asshole so they are not eating it wrong
Do you ride sidesaddle as well?
Imagine getting a card like this in an airplane.
this, but with the emergency exit door.
I know the hotdogs at Costco are good, but goddamn.
You’re the reason god invented prisons you degenerate (shudders)
Careful you don't get 3 of those....
I like the use of ketchup to maximize the overall outrage levels.
You would think so but often it's the only thing left when the others are out or broken.
It's for your own good. JD Vance is on his way to collect the daily dogwater tax, and if he sees what you did you're toast (or whatever makes sense, please and thank you) 🛋️
This better not awaken something in me.
Too late.
What this yours OP? Care to share the story?
Well that's a first time I've ever seen that in a Costco
How big is that drink?
The hot dog combo comes with a 20oz soda. DDG's calculator tells me that's 591 non-freedom units.
It's a pretty reasonable size by US standards. If you get the free refill it's a bit much though IMO.
Costco size
American child size.
What, the shot glass of cola?
You should see the 100oz refillable slushy cups.
That's for a family, right?
Right?
How do you physically fit that much liquid in to a functioning human?
Both of my grandparents had them, not sure if they still do. Places used to have like .50 refills and didn't list size limits, so Muricans started to buy and make bigger and bigger tubs to fill with liquid sugar.
There are levels of "functioning", and most of these people probably couldn't be called "fully functioning." More like semi-coherent, only technically self-aware flesh blobs that somehow continue to have a pulse.
Costco has restrooms.
I don't know what the average throughput of a human is, or how long people typically spend drinking at costco, but it still seems like that's more liquid than you could get through them in a reasonable meal break.
This is considered a 'small' in America.
That's not that big
smirks