I know a girl who thinks it goes. she'll make you breakfast. she'll make you toast. but she don't use butter, and she don't use cheese. she don't use jelly or any of these
It's I believe "she don't use jelly" by the flaming lips. But also Vaseline isn't that toxic to eat (I would not recommend eating it) especially if you were only using it to butter toast.
Wounds heal best when they’re kept moist, (something tattoo artists have known about for a long time, as they always suggest keeping lotion on a healing tattoo) and traditional gauze bandaging actively dries out wounds. This prevents effective healing and causes additional scarring.
Stop the bleeding, and then smear a bit of Vaseline on top of the wound before putting a bandage on to cover it. The Vaseline will prevent the bandage from drying out the wound, allowing it to heal faster and with less scarring.
Yep! Perfectly good dressing for most minor wounds! Although I think the triple antibiotic hasn't been shown to have much benefit when compared to Vaseline alone.
Lubricates and protects basically any metal, rubber or plastic
Stays slick when giving a massage
EDIT:
For the gents in the house, apply liberally to prevent any "sticking" throughout the day. Baby powder also works and is probably better for humid climates
I suggest Gold Bond Extra Strength for your junk fellow dick and ball havers out there, prevents chaffing, heals if it’s already there, and as was told to me when I was first educated about it by a buddy on my wrestling team, “feels like tiny little fairy’s are gently blowing on you balls”. 10/10 would recommend
This has been a game changer for my chronically dry lips. It stays on long and makes your lips look great! Plus they're healthier. Couldn't recommend it enough.
A thin layer on new car battery posts when you put a new one in to help protect from corrosion. Cheaper than the anti-corrosion spray and you probably have some lying around.
Favourite perfume is too expensive for everyday use?
Spray a few pumps into a 150ml of vaseline, mix thoroughly, check if the smell is strong enough, add a few pumps if necessary.
Your perfume now lasts a LOT longer.
Apply the vaseline mixture to the usual spots (wrists, neck etc..)
Holding mechanical parts together during assembly, for example some parts in automatic transmissions. It dissolves in the transmission fluid and doesn't impair it's performance or clog anything like greases could.
Packing a replacement oil-pump with it to effectively pre-prime it so it pumps oil as soon as you start the engine it's attached to.
48 replies
I know a girl who thinks it goes. she'll make you breakfast. she'll make you toast. but she don't use butter, and she don't use cheese. she don't use jelly or any of these
she uses vaseline
Good cover by Ben Folds
wtf...
are you certain she wasn't trying to kill an abuser?
It's a song.
from where? the section on how to murder a cheating bastard the stupid way?
It's I believe "she don't use jelly" by the flaming lips. But also Vaseline isn't that toxic to eat (I would not recommend eating it) especially if you were only using it to butter toast.
It's just a fun, silly song.
Fun fact, the inventor of Vaseline recommended eating it, and ate it every day.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Chesebrough?wprov=sfla1
Wounds heal best when they’re kept moist, (something tattoo artists have known about for a long time, as they always suggest keeping lotion on a healing tattoo) and traditional gauze bandaging actively dries out wounds. This prevents effective healing and causes additional scarring.
Stop the bleeding, and then smear a bit of Vaseline on top of the wound before putting a bandage on to cover it. The Vaseline will prevent the bandage from drying out the wound, allowing it to heal faster and with less scarring.
Isn't traditional gauze bandaging supposed to be paired with a dressing, that would usually keep the wound from drying out?
I was raised to always put a bead of Neosporin under the bandage but that's just Vaseline with some antiseptic ingredients
Yep! Perfectly good dressing for most minor wounds! Although I think the triple antibiotic hasn't been shown to have much benefit when compared to Vaseline alone.
Oh dear I love the stuff.
Skin LOVES it
MUCH better than aloe for sunburn
Lubricates and protects basically any metal, rubber or plastic
Stays slick when giving a massage
EDIT:
For the gents in the house, apply liberally to prevent any "sticking" throughout the day. Baby powder also works and is probably better for humid climates
I suggest Gold Bond Extra Strength for your junk fellow dick and ball havers out there, prevents chaffing, heals if it’s already there, and as was told to me when I was first educated about it by a buddy on my wrestling team, “feels like tiny little fairy’s are gently blowing on you balls”. 10/10 would recommend
Applying liberally to the orifice.
Not that orifice. Get your mind out of the gutter.
I meant a camera lens. uwu
To hide the wheels on the rig of your sci-fi hovering speeder, of course.
In that movie where that guy kisses his sister. 👉👈
That's the sequel.
Homecoming sluts 9?
It lets you use a snorkel mask with a mustache. (Clean the mask well though, it will destroy the plastic)
um lip balm?
This has been a game changer for my chronically dry lips. It stays on long and makes your lips look great! Plus they're healthier. Couldn't recommend it enough.
Waterproofing PCBs
Chapped lips
Putting a layer just inside your nostrils to catch pollen and help with hayfever
I regularly do this. I have regular nose bleeds, and issues with a dry nose and this keeps it all soft and suple
Protecting industrial components from corrosion
A thin layer on new car battery posts when you put a new one in to help protect from corrosion. Cheaper than the anti-corrosion spray and you probably have some lying around.
To quiet a squeaking hinge after misplacing my wd-40
Don't use WD-40 for that. It's not a lubricant, it's a cleaner. Use silicone lube or oil instead.
Sealing a rubber gasket
Favourite perfume is too expensive for everyday use? Spray a few pumps into a 150ml of vaseline, mix thoroughly, check if the smell is strong enough, add a few pumps if necessary.
Your perfume now lasts a LOT longer.
Apply the vaseline mixture to the usual spots (wrists, neck etc..)
Oooor, don't use perfume. It's suffocating to some of us.
I don't but for those who do, this trick saves some bucks.
I don't like being in the same room where people use hairspray, spray deodorants and such. I have to cough immediately.
When using perfume with vaseline the scent is lingering longer but is not as aggressive.
That's a good point. It would be more controlled.
Put in papercuts for instant relief
makes stainless steel extra shiny. we used to coat machines in it when we went to fairs to show them off.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
like, when your head gets stuck in a bannister or a suitcase handle or whatever
The Vaseline is usually just out of reach, though, on a rickety end table with the scorpion terrarium.
Home made matches. Cut a strip of cardboard and dip the end in vasoline …light it. It’s flammable
Light it with what? Sounds like you don't know how matches work
Fun fact: lighters were made before matches
If you're in a dry climate, it's useful to coat the inside of your nose with vaseline to keep it from drying out.
putting it on fresh tattoos
Not sure if it qualifies for being a "good" use of Vaseline, but you can make emergency candles with it.
I use it before a long run to prevent chaffing. Its not glamorous, but it works great.
Mix it with human hair to make model animals that you then eat for your actually surprisingly unentertaining late-nineties MTV chat show.
Eat it