This here thing is a peugeot satelis 500, It took me a day or two to figure that out as the only place it said satelis was a small patch on the clocks, very unremarkable just like the rest of the bike. 40ish bhp, 200ish kilos, comfy, quiet, horrible hard brakes like every scooter, tons of storage blah blah blah...

It does have one good point in it's favour, it's quite alike half of one these mad lads:

Half the cylinders, weight and power, All of the same wobbling about fun in the corners, no doubt helped along by the shagged rear shocks, squared off rear tyre and rethreaded (ala anglegrinder) front tyre. Seriously, it has to be forced to corner, you stay bolt upright and push the bike down, it is totally unresponsive if you sit normally or try geting down the inside. I love it. New favorite.