Oh god, I'm going to have to be the Old Trans explaining why everyone else's guesses on this one are wrong, lmao.
Back In The Day, before prosthetic soft penises ('packers') were widely available and cheap, a common substitute was to take a condom and fill it with hair gel. I never did it, but it was a tip around the time I came out in the mid 00s (although by then it was already starting to fade out in favor of silicone packers used today, it was mostly an affordability thing at that point). These weren't for sex, it's just to have something in your pants during your normal day that's penis shaped.
Oof, yeah, $45 in the 90s (? E: yeah, just saw '97 on your OP!) was a nonstarter for a lot of trans men! Condoms and hair gel were way cheaper in the short term.
Also Jesus Christ, I thought $40 for a binder now was highway robbery! $85?! That thing better be embroidered with gold.
Water is too liquid and flowy, that’s not how flesh acts. Hair gel isn’t 1:1 either, but it’s closer and readily available. It will also take slightly longer than water to make it look like you pissed yourself if the condom pops.
Could a trans man do a favor for a cis brother out here and explain the hair gel thing? My adhd curiosity is trying to think of practical uses and the only thing I’ve got is pube styling, if that’s a thing no hate but sounds less than comfy
i think the other commenters got it, mistaking testosterone gel for hair gel
fwiw i'm a trans guy and i didn't get it. the joke i probably would have made is "8. He's so obsessed with keeping his shoulders clean, he regularly slathers them in hand sanitizer and keeps you away from them." every t gel i've ever used is almost indistinguishable from hand sanitizer lol. but maybe that's how hair gel in the 90s worked
She is gonna be so embaressed when she finds out her husband is just an amish guy from a catholic, co-ed experimenting, all-girls highschool, who's always prepared to jog into the rescue of his alzheimer's patient mother to the point he covertly uses adrenaline injections daily just in case; and once had his dick stolen by a gynecologist who holds it hostage so the the husband has to regularly test experimental deodorant patches and sell smuggled hair-gel for lease money, with which he can rent his 7-inch penis back for one night every 4 months.
He has the box of dildos because he's secretly gay.
32 replies
this is crazy good
what is the use of hair gel that's not for hair?
Oh god, I'm going to have to be the Old Trans explaining why everyone else's guesses on this one are wrong, lmao.
Back In The Day, before prosthetic soft penises ('packers') were widely available and cheap, a common substitute was to take a condom and fill it with hair gel. I never did it, but it was a tip around the time I came out in the mid 00s (although by then it was already starting to fade out in favor of silicone packers used today, it was mostly an affordability thing at that point). These weren't for sex, it's just to have something in your pants during your normal day that's penis shaped.
Ah, that makes far more sense than the T-gel explanation. Probably a more realistic feel than the balled up socks.
Here’s an ad for a packer from the same issue of the magazine.
Oof, yeah, $45 in the 90s (? E: yeah, just saw '97 on your OP!) was a nonstarter for a lot of trans men! Condoms and hair gel were way cheaper in the short term.
Also Jesus Christ, I thought $40 for a binder now was highway robbery! $85?! That thing better be embroidered with gold.
And being sold out of Conroe Texas is wild - it still is a very yeehaw area north of Houston now and would have been 10x so back in the 90’s
Why hair gel and not something like water?
Water is too liquid and flowy, that’s not how flesh acts. Hair gel isn’t 1:1 either, but it’s closer and readily available. It will also take slightly longer than water to make it look like you pissed yourself if the condom pops.
The thought of a hair gel water balloon that lives on your crotch terrifies me. I'm glad there are better options available now~
Same as DIY breastforms, I would suspect; the squash 'n' stretch doesn't work as well with water as it does with something thicker.
Wait, is that why a dick is sometimes called a 'pecker'?
Mistaking testosterone gel for hair gel is the joke.
Maybe it is hormones in gel form?
Yeah all the others I get but that one i'm stumped on
Could a trans man do a favor for a cis brother out here and explain the hair gel thing? My adhd curiosity is trying to think of practical uses and the only thing I’ve got is pube styling, if that’s a thing no hate but sounds less than comfy
i think the other commenters got it, mistaking testosterone gel for hair gel
fwiw i'm a trans guy and i didn't get it. the joke i probably would have made is "8. He's so obsessed with keeping his shoulders clean, he regularly slathers them in hand sanitizer and keeps you away from them." every t gel i've ever used is almost indistinguishable from hand sanitizer lol. but maybe that's how hair gel in the 90s worked
Thank you my friend! That makes sense!
And I’m glad to hear no one is gelling their pubes!
OMZ, convincing ftms that having a Mohawk down there is the manliest would be hilarious.
She is gonna be so embaressed when she finds out her husband is just an amish guy from a catholic, co-ed experimenting, all-girls highschool, who's always prepared to jog into the rescue of his alzheimer's patient mother to the point he covertly uses adrenaline injections daily just in case; and once had his dick stolen by a gynecologist who holds it hostage so the the husband has to regularly test experimental deodorant patches and sell smuggled hair-gel for lease money, with which he can rent his 7-inch penis back for one night every 4 months.
He has the box of dildos because he's secretly gay.
The prefix geneto makes cis people sound like they're xmen
Makes me think they are a Linux distro lol
this is actually amazing
Do I want to know what trans men do with hair gel...?
I'm not a trans man, but I believe the joke is that it's actually testogel.
Wait, I missed a beat. Is Geneto the prefix that's replacing Cis now?
No they're subtly trying to get you to install Gentoo. It is very important you do not listen to them.
You in-fact should listen to them 'cos gentoo's ver cool :3
screams in hours of suffering to compile
The main hours one is the initial install. And you can take a walk for that :)
no, that's an older term.
This is from 1997, so it's more like cis replaced geneto-.
It's from 1997, but looks printed in the '40s
Trying to decide if I’m offended on this magazine’s behalf