Severly deficient autobiographical memory, I can only retain factual information, no lived through experiences. Though what facts get saved and what i can recall at any given moment is completely randomized and out of my control by the ADHD side.
So there's basically no functional or reliable memory to speak of.
I am almost the embodiment of "living in the moment" because for me there actually doesn't exist anything else, as soon thinking part of my brain shuts down or is inhibited by some drug.
It has taken me years to implement additional layer of thinking to take past and the future into consideration as something real.
I think I might have a mild form of that. I experience a kind of time blindness, which I only realized recently. Things in the past are kind of there, but not really in a coherent timeline I can access, and I know that the future exists but the difference between 3 hours, 3 days and 3 months can be hard to really grasp. I feel like I just now begin to understand how time works and how I can work with it, and I'm in my 40s.
I'd be curious about your experience, so please feel free to elaborate.
Time blindness is the same. It's just all a scrambled mess. The only way i know when something happened is by memorizing some bigger/world-wide/huge event which i can google to know when it happened.
As for the past memories themselves. It's just a collection of some random facts, not even details. Just the assumption of "i was there", maybe which people were there and the rough memory of the place where that thing took place and using that i can recreate or more like use imagination to create an artificial memory. Though the vividness of it is actually under debate which was pointed out to me by someone from aphantasia community that it might actually be conceptualizing.
Basically like reading a book which describes an event and then adding myself into that event. There is no difference between my memory and that of imagining a scene described in a book, though the books one could be better as it gives more information to work with.
I can remember random useless facts, but sometimes forget I have a middle name. I’m lucky I remember to breathe tbh 🫠 it’s a bit better with ADHD meds at least.
On the bright side, it means I get to enjoy my favorite media more because “oh yeah I forgot about that!” is the recurring theme lmao
My memory used to be really good, enough that people would (and still do) comment on it. "Hey do you remember what the client said about this during their imllemnatio process 4 years ago?" "Oh yes it was this. It was in mid-June of 2022 aaaaaand here's the email to confirm that".
The past year or so my memory has been terrible. I think from joining a polycule, the stress of balancing those relationships, the stress of going out to restaurants and shows and events so much more, the fact that the two new people have severe ADHD and being with them is to be part of two constant and ever-changing conversations. At first I thought my memory issues was because I was smoking too much weed to try to deal with it, but stopping only made things worse. So I got my diagnosis and am fairly confident I have experienced autistic burnout. Slowly recovering now.
I've got great memory, Everything gets sorted away in virtual filing cabinets however finding that info again sometimes gets difficult due to retaining so much.
I can't regurgitate/share the info, I just know a lot of things.
Things like Names sometimes takes a minute to recall, Especially if I've not spoken to them in a little while.
I have a painfully good social memory. I remember social interactions in vivid detail. I generally act like I don't remember as much as I do because it can come off as creepy or rude. I won't tell people this until I've gotten to know them well enough to share.
Names, numbers and that thing that was in my hand .5 seconds ago? Giant black hole....
It used to be incredibly good (apart from names), but it's one of the foremost fields where insomnia is noticeably hitting. I used to have great episodic memory, not quite photographic but I could browse through past events in my head and revisit them like a VR experience almost.
I'm starting to have holes in my brain now, though, and I can palpably retain information much less these days. Episodic memory is still decent, but still fuzzier than it used to and I sometimes have gaps. And retaining written and heard information is much harder than it used to be.
My memories go back to about age 4-5, when I lived near/in the Phoenix metropolitan area. I remember rolling down this one grass hill a lot, a passing, irrational fear of this one riding lawnmower that often came near said hill, an asymmetrical, irregular-shaped pool, a red ball going over a brick wall, and Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory album on this CD boombox I had.
I can remember the stupid thing someone said or did when they were 9 years old. (Oh you think no one remembers? I do!) But I can forget that I was supposed to do the dishes on my way to the sink. I can forget appointments and meetings unless I write them in my calendar, I can forget to write them down or I can write down wrong time/place/date in the few seconds of I was told the correct information. So yes and no.
15 replies
Why do you keep posting this every week?
Severly deficient autobiographical memory, I can only retain factual information, no lived through experiences. Though what facts get saved and what i can recall at any given moment is completely randomized and out of my control by the ADHD side.
So there's basically no functional or reliable memory to speak of.
I am almost the embodiment of "living in the moment" because for me there actually doesn't exist anything else, as soon thinking part of my brain shuts down or is inhibited by some drug.
It has taken me years to implement additional layer of thinking to take past and the future into consideration as something real.
I think I might have a mild form of that. I experience a kind of time blindness, which I only realized recently. Things in the past are kind of there, but not really in a coherent timeline I can access, and I know that the future exists but the difference between 3 hours, 3 days and 3 months can be hard to really grasp. I feel like I just now begin to understand how time works and how I can work with it, and I'm in my 40s.
I'd be curious about your experience, so please feel free to elaborate.
Time blindness is the same. It's just all a scrambled mess. The only way i know when something happened is by memorizing some bigger/world-wide/huge event which i can google to know when it happened.
As for the past memories themselves. It's just a collection of some random facts, not even details. Just the assumption of "i was there", maybe which people were there and the rough memory of the place where that thing took place and using that i can recreate or more like use imagination to create an artificial memory. Though the vividness of it is actually under debate which was pointed out to me by someone from aphantasia community that it might actually be conceptualizing.
Basically like reading a book which describes an event and then adding myself into that event. There is no difference between my memory and that of imagining a scene described in a book, though the books one could be better as it gives more information to work with.
You guys have memory?? HOW DO I GET THIS SUPERPOWER??
I can remember random useless facts, but sometimes forget I have a middle name. I’m lucky I remember to breathe tbh 🫠 it’s a bit better with ADHD meds at least.
On the bright side, it means I get to enjoy my favorite media more because “oh yeah I forgot about that!” is the recurring theme lmao
My memory used to be really good, enough that people would (and still do) comment on it. "Hey do you remember what the client said about this during their imllemnatio process 4 years ago?" "Oh yes it was this. It was in mid-June of 2022 aaaaaand here's the email to confirm that".
The past year or so my memory has been terrible. I think from joining a polycule, the stress of balancing those relationships, the stress of going out to restaurants and shows and events so much more, the fact that the two new people have severe ADHD and being with them is to be part of two constant and ever-changing conversations. At first I thought my memory issues was because I was smoking too much weed to try to deal with it, but stopping only made things worse. So I got my diagnosis and am fairly confident I have experienced autistic burnout. Slowly recovering now.
Except for names, insanely good apparently. I thought everyone remembered roughly everything but it does not seem to be the case 🤷🏻♀️
I've got great memory, Everything gets sorted away in virtual filing cabinets however finding that info again sometimes gets difficult due to retaining so much. I can't regurgitate/share the info, I just know a lot of things.
Things like Names sometimes takes a minute to recall, Especially if I've not spoken to them in a little while.
I have a painfully good social memory. I remember social interactions in vivid detail. I generally act like I don't remember as much as I do because it can come off as creepy or rude. I won't tell people this until I've gotten to know them well enough to share.
Names, numbers and that thing that was in my hand .5 seconds ago? Giant black hole....
What does it mean when god said “just fuck her up with so much memory”?
It used to be incredibly good (apart from names), but it's one of the foremost fields where insomnia is noticeably hitting. I used to have great episodic memory, not quite photographic but I could browse through past events in my head and revisit them like a VR experience almost.
I'm starting to have holes in my brain now, though, and I can palpably retain information much less these days. Episodic memory is still decent, but still fuzzier than it used to and I sometimes have gaps. And retaining written and heard information is much harder than it used to be.
My memories go back to about age 4-5, when I lived near/in the Phoenix metropolitan area. I remember rolling down this one grass hill a lot, a passing, irrational fear of this one riding lawnmower that often came near said hill, an asymmetrical, irregular-shaped pool, a red ball going over a brick wall, and Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory album on this CD boombox I had.
I can remember the stupid thing someone said or did when they were 9 years old. (Oh you think no one remembers? I do!) But I can forget that I was supposed to do the dishes on my way to the sink. I can forget appointments and meetings unless I write them in my calendar, I can forget to write them down or I can write down wrong time/place/date in the few seconds of I was told the correct information. So yes and no.
if I could remember anything that mattered