I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.
While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.
here's another one if you use chatGPT to solve the first one. Anyone who is fully optimized should be able to solve analytically shrodingers second order partial differential equation.
start with those problems, then we'll talk if you are fully optimized.
72 replies
"AMA and receive thoughtless one-liner answers"
Good thread, OP. I fully optimized your mom last night.
for what?
Just generally optimized.
just better at everything?
I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.
how good were you before?
Part of being optimized is not dwelling on the past.
yeah but percentage-wise?
∞%
Not answering quickly it seems.
But are you fully functional?
I've transcended functionality.
You're a manager?
Then what good are you?
I'm not good, I'm optimized.
What is the most optimal question to ask you?
"Are you fully optimized?"
Are you fully optimized?
YES
When will you wear wigs?
To the Optimization Ball.
What’s your morning routine?
While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.
This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?
My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.
Tell me more about this detachable penis of yours. Where would one... acquire such a tool?
If you already have one, simply detach it. If you don't have one, simply find a male and ask him to attach his penis to your vagina.
that seems unoptimized (i could do better)
You're all talk.
hah! you'll eat your words in the most inefficient manner soon! i will be fully optimised by... uhh... wow that's a big number...
Can you run DOOM?
That's for functional. If you want to test optimized, can you run Crysis?
Why have you stopped taking your meds?
I have transcended my meds.
I AM OPTIMIZED
You're already OP in this thread.
What follows is that your are timized
what kind of keyboard do you use?
Keychron K5 SE (low profile) with mint switches (65g actuation force)
When?
Immediately
How?
Optimally.
Why did you oil bukkake the pillow guy?
It's just part of the optimization process.
Does this make you the ultimate optimist
absolutely
What is the most optimized colour? For general optimality purposes. I like green.
I am the rainbow
26C FA582CC113 9063BB? A165? 3DA76 B2B2, 767A1A?
Ah yes, the Fibonacci sequence. Classic.
Dear god, you really are fully optimized!
∞
Well that doesn't sound optimized at all.
A little slack is due, he had to search how to type the infinity symbol for another answer so was just optimising the effort.
no, no, this is the first one
What do you think of unoptimized people?
They are the dirt from which I grew
What’s your peptide stack, and how many times a day do you cold plunge + sauna?
Skunk resin
I bathe in coffee & ginseng every morning
Is your name Eric?
RE-OPTIMIZED
It's Erik with a K, goddamnit!
Are you a level 9 turtle?
Why Dr. Phil?
Where did all the excess cheese from farmers go?
There is no excess cheese. There is only cheese.
find all possible eigenvalues and eigenvectors for the following 3 x 3 square matrix [1/0 1/0 1/0; 1/0 1/0 1/0; 1/0 1/0 1/0]
NO
here's another one if you use chatGPT to solve the first one. Anyone who is fully optimized should be able to solve analytically shrodingers second order partial differential equation.
start with those problems, then we'll talk if you are fully optimized.