people are saying I'm wrong but I don't see where I'm wrong.
For context, me (21m) and three other friends B(21m), S(20m) and A(22m) all got together because we were all in town and had free time during the valentines day weekend. While we were refilling our snacks we talked about how relationships are going and what we got for our respective partners or hopeful partners. I didn't have any prospects in terms of romantic interest and its something I felt sore about while hearing S and B talk about the gifts they got and gave to their partners, but A started to complain that he was getting too much attention from women and that he didn't know what to do with it all. he told us that he was feeling some pressure because so many girls were approaching him and flirting with him, that caused me to get angry and insult him which triggered a verbal altercation that turned physical when I threw one of his deepest insecurities in order to win the argument. Neither of us were hurt and I left quickly after both of us were separated. now B and S are telling me to apologize which i am not willing to do.
I recognise that I overreacted and I escalated the conflict by throwing a deep insecurity that A shared with me back at him but I feel that him complaining about getting too much attention is stupid and vain, he should have kept it to himself as far as im concerned.
Fucking lol.
That is not how any of that works.
The result was inevitable, and you may have lost that "friendship" completely, however you should still absolutely apologize.
This isn't a hill worth dying on, but it may already be too late, remember, forgiveness is not owed, it is earned through genuine action and remorse, it can't be demanded, it can only be freely given.
Here is some free advice.
If you know about someone's insecurities, especially if it is a friend, you only use that information to help them.
Unless your friend was deliberately insulating or mocking your difficulty in finding a partner, no, it wasn't reasonable for you to get angry. You and him have opposite problem, but you still both have problems. Regardless of whether it applies to you, your friend seems to have a legitimate problem - he's receiving undesired romantic attention. It may be the opposite problem you have, but that doesn't mean it's not a problem. If you had it your way, then you yourself should be unable to complain about your poor luck in dating, as that might be offensive to someone that is already in a committed relationship and finds the idea of strangers hitting on them problematic and offensive.
Everyone has problems, and sometimes people have the opposite problems. Some friend groups will have both people struggling with overeating and undereating. Some groups will have both those that can't afford a home and some buy a home, see their income decline, and suddenly have much more home than they can afford. Mixed-age groups have those that struggle with the difficulties of being old along with those that struggle with the challenges of being young. Just because your problems are opposites, does not mean that either of your problems are invalid.
Should your friends just never be able to talk about their relationships in your presence? After all, by your logic, any relationship is better than no relationship, so they should have to shut up and not vent any problems they're having with their partner. When you find a partner, will you also be prohibited from speaking about your relationship struggles, less you offend someone that is without a romantic partner?
In reality, it seems you are in the wrong here. I would apologize if I were you. Feel free to explain your feelings, but you should offer a heart-felt apology. Unless your friend was doing it on purpose, they were coming to you from a position of trust. They were sharing something that's been causing them pain, and they did so without any mal intention towards you. It's not reasonable to take offense at it. You cannot go through life getting enraged and offended when you come across someone whose problems happen to be opposite your own. If they were deliberately mocking or belittling you, sure, then you would be right to be offended. But this seems like a genuine attempt to open up to you and share the struggles in their life. The fact that you then went and deliberately tried to hurt them by calling up known insecurities? That absolutely deserves an apology.
Learning to say "I'm sorry", and mean it,is a fantastic personal trait/skill to have. I didn't have it at your age, but I sure wish that I had. It gets easier and more natural. I've learned an apology will go a long fucking way in smoothing things over and stop me from stepping on my own dick. Needing to "win" will do the opposite.