Owner Of Adult Store Stunned After Pentagon Demands She Stop Shipping Butt Plugs To Soldiers In Middle East
Apparently the US Department of DefenseWar thinks that they can order non-US citizens not resident in the USA to cease and desist from mailing things.
Uh…
Hilarity of the items involved aside, the gall of the US military postal service to give orders to civilians not under their command and not even of their nation is shocking.
https://www.comicsands.com/dod-butt-plug-letterOpen linkView original on lazysoci.al316
Comments33
So, they want her to stop sending sex toys to Baharain, but
So she couldn't screen out those orders, even if she wanted to!
Lol tell your soldiers to stop ordering butt plugs
It's probably better that they're ordering them than improvising, but yes, it's very much a them problem rather than a her problem.
Due to country restrictions, they will unfortunately have to rely on IEDs (Improvised Excitement Devices)
Better hope they don't sit down too hard, or they might get more of that excitement than they're ready for! I've heard "without a base, without a trace", but this is more "sit on a shell, welcome to hell".
Especially considering what soldiers have on hand to improvise!
They should just be a rifle attachment.
Yup. The system by design (to avoid deployments being decodable) doesn't reveal the actual destination ... but somehow she's supposed to know.
I like her attitude to this whole thing.
I hope she updates her website with a 10% discount to all troops posted overseas
"Half off to DoW addresses."
Just slap camo pattern on it and get a Pentagon contract
Tactical Plug
The picatinny rail is ribbed for your pleasure
Oh no, that sounds uncomfortable as fuck
You could put it on the base for accessories
Afixing a flashlight to the rail could make a handy reading light for maps. Imagine a soldier ducking under another soldier's poncho, poncho soldier drops their pants and squats so the poncho comes closer to the ground.
I do suspect that moaning, as the light is operated, would be frowned upon.
Much better than the field-expedient buttplugs made out of everyday vegetables.
Like magic it disappears into its surroundings
Need a more flared base.
Properly fitted, a buttplug reduces cavitation shock waves from shrapnel and small munitions, reducing internal damage and increasing soldier survivability by over 9000
I'm no ballistics expert so I'll take your word for it.
You know, I miss the time you could look at a headline and know instantly it was The Onion. Now you have to check the URL and read the damn thing to know for sure.
Even then, are you truly sure?
I know, right? Parody is dead.
you cant stop her from plugging the butts of american soldiers. YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE.
She won't rest until she's plugged every butthole in Bahrain!
She’s not a resident of Bahrain either, so it still holds. If the DOD wants to appease the Bahrain government, they should intercept things on their end.
No damnit, it says “ON their end” not “IN”.
DoW, I think you mean.
Doesn't matter even with that spin. The DoW is well aware of how its military postal system works and thus knows that the sender has ZERO idea of where a package will be delivered to.
It actually makes sense when you include this important bit, "on behalf of the country of Bahrain"
It's likely Bahrainian customs inspecting the package, finding illegal contraband, then contacting the intended recipient for an explanation as to why they're receiving banned goods
US Military responds by saying they'll inform all parties to prevent future occurrences. It's classic CYA
There's a couple of problems with this:
The vendor has no idea what the destination is when sending it through military post. Part of the whole point of a separate postal system is that you can't figure out deployments from postage. So even if they're doing it "on behalf of Bahrain" they're aiming that the wrong direction. They should have been aiming it at the recipients (who obviously know where they are) not the shipper (who doesn't).
The country of Bahrain has no position where it can give orders to nonresident foreign citizens either.
You're completely correct, but that doesn't stop it from happening. It's just performative covering of asses all around. Now the Bahrainian government doesn't look like they're giving the US military a free pass and the US military can say they're doing something