‘End-to-end encrypted’ smart toilet camera is not actually end-to-end encrypted
https://techcrunch.com/2025/12/03/end-to-end-encrypted-smart-toilet-camera-is-not-actually-end-to-end-encrypted/Open linkView original on slrpnk.net362
Comments77https://techcrunch.com/2025/12/03/end-to-end-encrypted-smart-toilet-camera-is-not-actually-end-to-end-encrypted/Open linkView original on slrpnk.net
Sometimes this timeline is too absurd not to love a little bit
I pray everyday that someone sneaks up behind me and hits my head with a large hammer
Im always watching the lamps just in case.
Feels like we've landed in an episode of Brasseye
Anyone who decided to buy a smart toilet with internet access deserves to not have an encrypted connection
Its even worse, its a smart attachment for any existing toilet
Only a matter of time before the Kohler Miracle occurs, a magnificent turd in the shape of the Virgin Mary.
Imagine paying $600 plus $7 a month for Kohler to look at your shit.
Jokes on the intern?
What the fuck are we doing as humanity
Storing petabytes of shit photos on coal burning servers cooled by drinking water.
Because a guy in a black turtleneck told us to.
Wait, it stores it?
I thought it forwards my shit pictures to my enemies.
Now there's a business plan
Why just pictures?
I think another type of device is necessary here.
Nothing productive, just making $$ off rubes.
No shit.
Literally a shit post. Well done sir.
What a shitty design.
From my end to another person's end connected by the plumbing system?
Seriously tho: I can understand why certain tech things might need a camera; if the toilet is able to accurately bidet the shit off my asshole with laser precision I can understand it might need to see all the dingleberries... But why the fuck does it have to send the camera data anywhere? Keep that shit local, confined to the device itself.
It analyses your shit and cross checks against the Bristol stool chart.
It then has either Metamucil or a block of cheese delivered to your house as needed.
ERROR: Too much blood detected in sample.
a very complicated human centipede
Camera toilet? For shitting with your boyfriend/girlfriend together.
Co-op or PvP?
PvE
FFA
PvP, obviously.
Co-op
Competitive Ranked PvP with time-eroding leaderboards
c/StallmanWasRight
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Shitcam, is in fact, GNU/Shitcam, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Shitcam.
I will never be surprised by insecure IoT devices.
The S in IoT stands for security
Lol perfect, I like that.
Literally using people's shit to train their shit AI.
I don't like to judge idiots too harshly, but if you bought a product marketed as an encrypted toilet camera you deserve whatever happens to you
Real gangsters use full fledged Dahua & go2rtc as their toilet camera
It may take a very special kind of idiot to spend $599 plus a mandatory subscription of at least $6.99 per month on such a thing.
Considering there has been a massive wave of smart cameras everywhere in and outside homes in the past and especially recently getting "hacked", it's not a stretch that randomly picking cameras to look through could yield a droopy balls and veiny cock jumpscare
If you’re hacking a toilet camera, you deserve whatever horrors you find.
To this very day, with only the slightest amount of technical knowledge, you can log onto people's existing devices, watch their video feeds, initiate print jobs, etc.
A 'haha im hax0r' amusement from 20+ years ago is still going strong.
That’s because they call it Ass-to-Ass Encryption
Poop back and forth forever.
Blast from the past there.
Blast from the ass.
Wait, this technology wasn’t an onion article or a fever dream? WTF Kohler, how much money did you waste on this tech and supporting infrastructure?!
Adult Swim predicted this ten years ago.
Ahhhh, beat me to it!!
What are the ends in this end-to-end? Someone more clever than me can make this into a joke.
I don't think the public key is going to help that end user recover the message.
pubic key lol
Literal shit post
Shit shorts, ShitTok?
They invented an internet poop camera and people actually buy it?!
The person who got this done is persuasive as fuck and should be in sales, not R&D.
um, couldn't you just look down at your shit, or take your own picture on your smart phone to compare to other poop images on the web? Like why the fuck would anyone need a toilet camera?
Might drop phone into the shitty toilet! But if the camera is specifically designed for my toilet, can't drop it in! What an amazing product idea for people like me! Also, I don't tell you your hobbies are dumb. If you're curious, I have a graphed some data showing my normal distribution of bristol scale output for the last few years. Can't tell you how many times I've had to fish the phone out of the toilet to collect that data (don't worry, it's waterproof, so it gets rinsed off during the flush).
If you wanna log your logs the old fashioned way with just a spreadsheet:
Date / time
On a second spreadsheet in that workbook, keep a food diary, because that's gonna provide a LOT of context (and you might discover some ways to be nicer to your tummy).
So is it any wonder that people are afraid of technology?
Nobody is afraid of technology.
Most people buying this stuff are just gadget goofs with way too much disposable income, nothing more.
Why does anyone even need a camera in their toilets?
From a dog's perspective that lives in an urban area, this makes perfect sense. Humans are fascinated with poop, collected in bags, and stored in the park bins. Why wouldn't they put cameras in their toilets?
Alright, I'll do it.
Why are we looking at this from a dogs perspective?
Because human experience alone is too dull for a being existing in a vast universe with trillions of stars. Slip on the metaphysical shoes of some other creature every now and then and marvel how utterly alien human existence actually is. And we're just one tiny wet rock, spinning around an unremarkable star, in an out of the way spiral arm of an unremarkable galaxy among an endless sea of pinpoints of light.
I disagree with all of what you said, but I like the way you think.
Carry on, but like a cat would.
🫡 Meow.
Content creation for an entire Pornhub tab.
End to end to end. That's 50% more ends so it has to be safer.
I love the phrase "data is encrypted at rest."
Having worked with a lot of medical data, the rules are simple:
"End to end!"
My toilet picked a fine time to update the flapper valve driver, I've got a surprise swirl with a peak above the water and a blood clot on top that really needs to go before company shows up.
If there's someone out there that gets off on watching me poop let them. (I'm a 310 pounds 40 year old.)
Toilet..camera? Do I want to know?
Adding the vids of my toilet to the vids the roomla made. It all comes together.