I don't see my parents point in not allowing me to go out.
so recently I was invited out to the mall by my Ex-girlfriend, the outing was going to be with her friend L and L's boyfriend B. ex-gf didn't invite her current BF G because G doesn't like L in the slightest, neither does he like me because Ex-gf and I are still in touch and talk regularly. I tried to get my parents to allow me to go but they said no out of fear of B or G harming me or me harming them and getting arrested. my mom was particularly concerned about the 'optics' of the situation since It would look like a double date and three white people with on black person.
my parents asked me if I understand and I said yes to their face to just shut them up and not be bothered by more explanations, but really I don't and it makes me very angry that they are so concerned about something so minor as optics. since no one else is going to care if three white people and a black person show up to the mall together. its not that deep but they are talking about how I could get lynched and how my Ex-gf will end up 'dead with no one knowing anything' and how white people aren't to be trusted.
plus they've been pushing me to get out of the house more and 'discover my own people and what I like' but when I want to do that they wont let me! I hate it! they wanna be Helecopter parents to a damn 20 year old!
any thoughts or opinions are welcome and encouraged since I cant see my parents perspective no matter how much they try to explain it.
Regardless of current politics, FUCK them. That is exactly how bigotry remains established.
The fact your parents are so pathetic that they cannot stand for someone else's autonomy and equivalent existence is nothing but a mark of shame on them. Good on you for not falling for the pathetic social pressure they claim is so strong.
'I just don't get it as far as I'm concerned they raised me this way "a asshole is an asshole no matter the race of person." "treat others the way you wanna be treated." "take someones kindness and pay it back with equal kindness". none of these specify race so I don't get why race is so important now when it never was before, especially in the black community.
You're 20? Do you need their permission to go out?
Yes and no. they have come to collect me a few times because I went some place without them knowing so I just let them know where i am to avoid that. if i need to go some place really far away i'll need my dad to drive me since I cant drive myself or call a friend, so I need their permission to go plus. if I leave on my own without my parents knowing where I'm going it just a constant stream of calls and worry and both are heart patients so that isn't good for them or my patience.
in this case what happened was essentially I said "Ex-gf invited me out on X-day to the mall" and they started asking normal questions before saying im not going. I am complying since right now I dont have a mode of transportation available to me.
You are 20, wtf. If they try to collect you, ignore them. Show them you are your own person. And move out btw.
Otherwise you won't get a life and will regret it in 10 years
This is why people start lying to their parents.
dude I already am on multiple situations chief among them is the 'im not anti white im pro black' BS my mom uses to justify being a dick to white people.