Tucker Carlson says Pete Buttigieg is 'fake gay,' should answer questions about gay sex
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/35459490
https://www.advocate.com/news/tucker-carlson-buttigieg-fake-gayOpen linkView original on lemmy.dbzer0.com502
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Tucker Carlson is "fake straight" and should answer questions about being straight.
He does seem very interested in gay sex.
I love this concept. Tucker Carlson just being this closeted gay man, who's rejected by his own people, and can't come out as gay. So he just flirts in the worst way possible.
"Yeah? You gay? Yeah? Talk about it! Answer all the questions I have about what butt stuff is like!"
Meanwhile everyone else is just confused as hell.
Soutpark needs to redo the "Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet" skit with the Tuckster.
The Tuchus
He kinda just looks it too. I know that's highly assumptions and shallow, but the gaydar has always gone off. Good skin, well-conditioned 80s dad hair, always dressed tidy but a little loose, definitely pays attention to his colours, good clothing combos and shoe choices too...
Like, just the article's pic, if you didn't know what Tucker looked like and had to guess who the bigot was in this pic...
I bet he gets around his house in cut-offs because he likes the comfort of shorts but denim is a real man's material.
or he's a nevernude
He needs a pair of these
its in the eyes and nope
No one talks more about gay sex than homophobes. I am bi and I think about penises less than Tucker Carlson
How it feels around dudes who see you enjoy a caramel latte instead of drinking it black for some reason. Like bro, some Italian grandma drinks espresso harder than you ever have.
Some Italian grandmas are harder than they will ever be too.
Thicker mustaches, too.
Tucker will confim from his own experience?
No way he would turn down a stallion like me, thought Tucker. He must be faking it!
Tucker's always there for the analysis.
True, no-bullshit journalism!
If it's something only a gay guy would know, that's the only logical explanation.
Tell us what it’s like being a “fake straight”, Tucker.
It's more likely he's a real straight, but no good at it.
Definitely gives off some incel vibes, I can see it.
So, what we're saying is...
he "will be caught buying crack from a gay prostitute going, 'we were just playing tummy swords.' And then he’ll deny it going, 'I did not perform a homosexual act.' 'no, you didn’t. Elton John is a homosexual act. You just blew that guy. It’s okay.'" -Robin Williams
don't google tummysticks lol
I mean if you haven’t seen the weird tucker Carlson thing with a bunch of greased up men in it uh idk man I don’t even remember what it was but boy does it make me not question that he understands what gay is… but uhhhhh it sure sounds like tucker just wants Pete to prove it by sucking his dick and is mad that he won’t.
Hey,
Thanks, and I don't think I have to watch it anymore!
No, Tucker, he still won't have sex with you. Not because he's not gay, but because you are a boner killer.
"I want to know more about Pete Buttigieg's sex life" says Tucker Carlson.
It fact, this is the thing about queerphobes, they are obsessed with the genitals and sex lives of queer people to the point that they can't look at anything that involved queer people without thinking of gay sex. That's why they think sfw material that just happens to have a gay person in it is pornography, because they have sexualised queer people to within an inch of their lives.
How could tucker be a queerphobe when he is positioning himself as an expert on gay sex. I emphasize positioning. Its important.
Bigots of any type believe themselves to be experts on the things they hate.
"But like... Which one of you is the woman???"
Shit I've heard people say, unironically. God knows it took a lot of restraint to not berate them down.
My hypothesis is that they just can't get the picture of a rock hard veiny cock the size of a forearm out of their minds, they're just so captivated by fantasizing about the meat cannon plopping in and out of their assholes or gagging on it while giving it the sloppiest toppy ever. They know that they'll be exiled by their community of equally closeted sheep in wolves clothing so they just rage endlessly about it instead of just admitting that they want Thor's cockhammer to turn them inside out. It's really pathetic, they should just bounce on their boys fatty until they blast off and leave everyone else alone.
edit: a word
So , a white, cis, hetro male is gatekeeping being gay?
Yeah that tracks.
"I did gay to be cool and popular. President, maybe!"
-- not gay Pete
What a weird take to say out loud.
I think we are all wondering one thing that Pete might be able to answer.
“When two gay men have sex, how do they know who's penis will open up to accept the other person's penis?”
-Dwight Schrute
Angela slowly nodding in the background
What questions would you ask someone if you thought they were fake gay?
Serious replies only.
how that bussy taste
I heard avocado tastes like peen, and my experience says... kind of
Only when it's clean
Like a box of chocolates.
Good question!
And who checks the validity of those answers, and who checks the validity of the person checking the answers, but then who checks the validity of the people checking the validity of the person checking the validity, I think I'm stuck, this doesn't stop
Me. You are now banned.
I think serious replies if the question was serious are not applicable here. This is a millionaire funded by billionaires. He's not serious, even Jon Stewart got him to remove his usual bow tie after a verbal spanking that would make nuns proud. He has no grounds to be serious, he's fanning flames for the olichary or whomever pays him to have more power.
I don't have references for any of this except the crossfire but where Stewart put him in his place. Dude's confused look seems like he's surprised at his own farts.
IIRC, he's extremely wealthy even without his work as a propagandist, being the heir to a frozen dinner fortune.
He just does it for love of the game.
User banned for sillyness.
Be Gay, Do Crime? Explain your crime.
Edit to add: The fashion police have a warrant
"So the penis opens up to accept the other penis right? Does it hurt?"
What a weird thing to say.
Tucker needs some new masturbatory material.
Yes, a capable politician is going to choose the hardest path to advance his career by claiming to be gay. Like playing US politics on super hard mode.
Nightmare mode would be a black Trans Muslim leftist.
Nah. Black Trans muslim right winger. Then even the left won't support you.
No Tucker, you first.
Masculine manly Republican men stop thinking about gay sex challenge (impossible).
This man is so far in the closet, he's inside a closet in a random house in Narnia.
The fuck does he know about sex? His name is Tucker.
"So you like having dicks in your mouth, but you don't currently have any dicks in your mouth. Curious.
Tucker Carlson claiming he has the power to issue the gay certification test is some wild shit. Is it just a slow news day at the propaganda factory or is he like trying to proposition Pete?
Tucker should bottom for Pete to own the libs
Tucker has the worst laugh on the planet. I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to bone down that spongebob-laugh-having dork.
This seems like maybe the last thing we should be concerned about right now.
Which is why he brought it up; getting bogged down in inane talking points distracts from the Epstein Files.
tucker carlson is in the unreleased Epstein files
Tucker Carlson is an illegitimate Epstein baby
Did he get tipped-off by Lady Graham?
I always thought a bow tie was the same as a woman wearing a bandanna, a declaration that you are gay and that you have pride about being gay.
Oh, certainly not! True, all of the men I know now who wear bow ties regularly are gay, but not the guy I knew back when I was a high school senior. Y'know, good, solid, conservative Limbaugh listener. Had a girlfriend even—back home, while he was at college—you wouldn't know her. Real friendly, he'd invite me over to his apartment to talk computers, share his university Internet login password with me, that kind of thing. Yup yup. Totally. 110% straight.
There's literally "butt" in his name. What about you, Tucker fucker? I remember that Putin interview when you took his cock so fucking deep.
This is the level we're dealing with not only with Cucker Tarlson but all of US, erm, "political discourse".
Frankly, I've always pronounced his last name "booty judge" because why not.
Tucker is the real hard gay.
Say say say say say.....hoooooooooooooo!
I would LOVE to see Tucker grill Buttigieg on gay sex. I hope he does it.
Why even repeat this cunt's message even if you oppose it? Best thing to do is let this drug of society fall into obscurity where they can do minimal damage.
Why are we still paying attention to anything Tucker Carlson says?
Because daddy Vlad wants us to.
"I want to watch" -Tucker Carlson
Obviously he considers himself an authority on gay sex.
Hold on, a guy that likes men AND women????? That's suuuuper sketchy 🤨🤨🤨
Maybe we should have a name for that... Duo-sexual? Hmm, needs more brainstorming...
He wants him to prove it to him hard
Tucker has always seemed a little "sweet" to me. He's probably bi and really wants to know what it's like
He's a fake human, he always looks like the firmware update didn't take.
The guy who got mad that the green M&M was losing her sexy boots, and likened Trump becoming president again to daddy being home and giving out spankings is being weird about sex? I would never have guessed.
I'm a STRAIGHT Conservative who wants to MURDER GAY CHILDREN and I would GLADLY suck a Penis just to PROVE how Straight I am!
I gotta say that this is the first gay circlejerk I'd pay to see! Or ever see!
Tucker waxing nostalgic for his boarding school and fraternity days?
Fake: Tucker Carlson Gay: Buttigieg
4chan post confirmed
is this parody?
Now, Pete, I'm going to need to describe it in great detail, exactly how it feels to enter another man... or else how will I know?
I’m having trouble processing the meaning of this insane claim. It does not compute.
I'm getting a fake hard on from all this projection. Of all people to say something as dumb as this.
C’mon Tucker. Offer yourself to prove how gay Pete is or isn’t.
Why does this give me "gaycation" vibes?
Guys, Tucker is right. Pete doesn't have blue hair and a nose ring. /sarcasm
Tucker Carlson should try to fuck a pig live on air to prove he doesn’t get a hard-on while fucking a pig… you know… to prove he’s not a zoophiliac
This coming from a guy who tans his testicles.
Tucker suffers from reverse-gaydar.
The only coherent point I can pull out of this is that being gay is the only mildly progressive thing about Pete the Neoliberal.
But not all gay people support ideologies that are good for them so idk.