Massachusetts couple denied foster care application over LGBTQ views, complaint says
Michael and Catherine Burke allege that the state’s Department of Children and Families discriminated against them for their Catholic viewpoints.
https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/massachusetts-couple-denied-foster-care-application-lgbtq-views-compla-rcna99339Open linkView original on lemmy.world394
Comments129
“If you give me an LGBTQ kid, I’m going to be a horrible parent. Wait, why did you deny my parenting application? This is discrimination!”
I don't know if I need to provide bonifides for being queer positive and not asking in bad faith, but why are there two pluses in that? It just makes me think of C++ and seems... jokey.
Yeah, that's why I generally prefer "queer". Plus, it's not an acronym, and reclaiming words is always good!
Many just say queer. Or LGBT. Companies and news organizations can't really settle on one thing to call us. Imo, LGBT+ gets the point across without being excessive.
They modify the A, so are probably Asexual and Ally.
This is why LGBTQ rights is so important. Imagine being a foster kids because of the US failed social safety net, only to be re homed in a religious bigoted house?! That's what the GOP wants for kids.
That’s exactly what happened to me as a kid. As a bonus, these religious nutjobs sexually abused their actual kid, and because I was just a foster kid, I wasn’t believed. Thank god my mom was able to get me out of that hell hole, but the trauma it caused me was so deep I didn’t even recognize how deep it was for almost 20 years.
And now red states made it legal to kidnapping LGBTQ children from loving homes to traditional homes
Wait, they're allowing kids to be removed from foster/adoptive homes and transferred to a religious home? On what grounds and who's authority?
They are talking LGBTQ kids from their families because gender affirming care is illegal.
I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you went through that.
Nah don’t be sorry, just be angry at a system that allows such things, and at a religion that shields such people. I came out okay in the end, because I have a family that loves me and helps support me through my traumas, but I don’t know what happened to their kid, or if they were ever stopped. That’s the part that bothers me. Knowing that those sickos could still be out there presenting themselves as righteous Christians while doing such things.
"This is why protecting traditional families is so important. Imagine being a foster kids because of the US failed social safety net, only to be re homed in a LGBT groomer house?! That's what the GOP wants for kids."
I literally just changed two things and it went 180 degrees on the other extremist side of the spectrum. Do with that info as you wish
And with such a simple change, you turned it into a disgusting and bigoted lie, when the person you responded to was completely accurate.
Someone who'd unironically say what I did would think the same
And they'd be wrong.
There's a common misconception that there are two sides to any issue. Sounds reasonable, right? Everyone loves compromise and meeting in the middle.
But homophobic and transphobic bigots are just wrong. They're provably, factually incorrect, and have an argument with reality itself. They're on the same level as Flat-Earthers or people who think 1 + 1 = 3. And yes, they'll say the same thing about me, and they'll be wrong and stupid when they do that. Why worry that the wrong, stupid, and hateful people think they're right? Why lend their hate even the veneer of credibility?
You can't "meet in the middle" with people who reject reality. 1 + 1 = 2.5 is just as incorrect as 1 + 1 = 3.
I can prove 1+1=2 by axioms, you can't prove the Earth is flat. Simple as
Someone crazy can tell you your actions are wrong. Someone crazy can insist on all kinds of things that are crazy, and insist that you are the crazy person. And by their standards, you can't disprove it.
So is there any point in arguing with such a person? Or lending any credence to their perspectives?
People who believe LGBTQ+ people are "groomers" or doing something unnatural are objectively wrong, and the fact that they believe they're right doesn't change that, nor does it obligate me to treat their mistaken beliefs as anything but the mistakes they are, and I won't pretend otherwise or grant their hate and bigotry any respect.
Why are they objectively wrong? I can't prove they are objectively right either but you seem confident that they are. So please, give me the info to shut their mouths off
Oh the difference is that religious bigots exist. And in huge, huge numbers.
"LGBT groomers" are not a thing. It's a figurative Boogeyman you invented or someone convinced you exists in an attempt to create a dichotomy where one does not exist.
Or, to be more accurate, the Religious Right considers any talk of alternative lifestyles as "grooming" now, because they find the notion that kids might be born gay invalid, and every single kid that identifies differently was "made" that way because they talked with a "deviant".
Meanwhile, Catholic dioceses all over the country are declaring bankruptcy, in spite of their tax exempt status, just to gain an advantage in the lawsuits over the priests who were, quite literally, grooming kids (no scare quotes required).
Not that I'm trying to support Catholicism, but the Pope is out here saying "God loves all, yes even LGBT"
This Pope is a Jesuit from South America, though, and Jesuits tend to be a bit more liberal than other orders, if for no other reason that they are involved in education in a lot of poor countries. A fair amount of the most liberal Liberation Theology in South America and Latin America came from Jesuits.
But there are limits, even to what a Pope can do, to steer a 2000 year old institution. He may be saying that God loves everyone, but as long as the Church says that homosexuality is disordered, those people won't feel welcome, even if the Pope wants to hug them.
Oh I think we agree. I think our conversation speaks to just how broken the institution of religion is, as applied to a group of size 8,000,000,000+.
Still, it's better than having a USA-like pope rambling about how "sodomites" must be sent to conversion therapy
Yes, God loves everyone
Your Bible says otherwise.
"your"? Dude the Bible is for all humanity to read
You mean put it into proper context, look at the stats, and acknowledge you're full of shit? Sure thing! But you won't let facts get in the way of your feelings amirite?
Yeah, you can make anything sound bad when you just lie and make shit up.
Could say the same of you calling everyone that points out the dangers of dehumanising "bigots"
You can say anything, that doesn't make it correct. And it's funny how people call themselves out, because I only call people exhibiting bigotry bigots.
If you're being called a bigot, maybe examine your beliefs and actions. After all, if it smells like shit everywhere you go, it's probably you.
@Unaware7013 @MicroWave @NatakuNox @[email protected]
My block button is getting quite the workout these last 10 days or so.
Was there a mass migration I didn't hear about?
Good luck thinking looking the other way will make people who you disagree with disappear
If thinking having two halves of a country willing to kill each other to be insane makes people call you a bigot, maybe I'm not the one that stinks after all
No one thinks you're a bigot for that belief, climb down off your cross or just be honest about your actions.
Yet I'm being called one for it
“I think murderers are bad people.” “I think Asians are bad people.”
Hey guys, you won’t believe this, but did you know that when you use different words that meanings change? I know, right?
Oh sure, they're totally as comparable as the one I made (everyone knows how related murderers and Asians are) and it's totally not fallacy you made up to make my point sound more ridiculous
Exactly! Comparing two populations wherein one is defined by intrinsic, inborn characteristics whose expression has no bearing upon their moral bent versus a group whose willful admittance to and participation in said group is dependent upon making moral choices and deeming them the same is, in fact, completely ridiculous. I’m glad you agree with me.
Has anyone told you you're stubborn as hell?
I have siblings, yes.
You changed two things and into something imaginary. There is no such thing as an "LGBT groomer house." You can't force a child to be gay or trans no matter how much you want to.
You might as well say "only to be rehomed in a dragon's den." It would make about the same amount of sense.
Uhhhh what? One, "traditional families" aren't anti LGBTQ by default. Second, LGBTQ parents aren't groomers. (can LGBTQ individuals be terrible humans just like everyone else? Yes!) Third, asking a foster family if they hate LGBTQ people is critical for the safety of foster children because mathematically 10% will be LGBTQ. And since there's no "Gaydar" to tell you can't risk putting any child with them!
You didn't prove anything except how ignorant you are. Do with that info as you wish
Pendantic though it may be... 30 percent is more accurate for children in foster care to be LGBTQIA+. Many lose their homes of origin and support BECAUSE they are LGBTQIA+ so the instance is way higher.
Kind of a no brainer to have homo/transphobic foster parents struck from the rolls. It's enough to be traumatized once by having your authentic self rejected by a supposed safe haven. Twice is unconscionable.
These boneheads seem to mix up up supportive with grooming. I had a conversation at a bar the other day with some dipshit that said if you support your child coming out as gay or trans, you're effectively grooming them to be a sexual deviant. They fail to realize that grooming is an active nudge or conditioning in the direction of a desired behavior, whereas being supportive is unconditional love regardless of identity. My buddy's kid is identifying as a girl atm, and while he and I both think it's a phase (he's 15 and just an awkward kid in general), we are supportive of his/her choice.
On the other hand, there are parents out there that actively nudge their kids into being some brand of queer from a young age (not just in providing an open minded atmosphere, but almost to discerning them gay from a stupid young age) that, to me, begins to cross a line. In my mind, let be kids be kids that become teenagers and then adults, and just support them in their choices while guiding them to be the best person they can be.
Bro those aren't my actual opinions
Bro don't make ambiguous statements. Use your words more wisely so everyone knows exactly what you are saying
Ok, maybe I needed to say that dehumanising and treating other human beings as demonic monsters is tearing countries apart
Don’t be a demonic monster you won’t be treated like one.
To the others you're a demonic monster too, and until you realise that your country will sink down the drain
Have fun having your comments being removed bigot
Part of being a foster parent is agreeing to respect the child's situation, religious views, sexual orientation, etc. If I tell the state that I'm not going to take a kid to church if they're religious, I'm not getting approved. If I tell the state I'm going to teach potentially gay children that being gay is wrong, I'm not getting approved.
Holy shit. The foster system standing up for kids. Now there's something that sadly doesn't happen very often. I hope this couple get what they deserve
Which is zero children to indoctrinate by way of fear and hate.
You know, I didn't even think of this. I initially just thought "good, they might get a queer kid they'll abuse/neglect and thus shouldn't have them" but the whole limiting of the expansion of more shitbirds sure is a nice bonus.
In this case that being no foster kids
Sounds like the kinda family that if their teenager says they're gay, will abuse and abandon them.
So yeah, they can go suck an egg.
Stop discriminating against our discrimination! Thanks for the good laugh, Michael and Catherine Burke.
The nerve of people to cry they were discriminated against for their views as if their views weren't the original discriminator... It's just mind boggling.
This got me to open the article again and search for what this may reference. I didn't see anything in particular about him being worse than her. Did I miss it? I admit that I mostly scanned and didn't read comprehensively because I don't care about these people and their bullshit views. Fuck anyone who says "Let's take the T out."
This highlights the hypocrisy that is endemic in the Catholic church these days. The couple feels they were discriminated against in the approval process due to their anti-Trans views, yet they are using a lawyer who was happy to take the opposite view when a Catholic adoption agency wanted to discriminate against LGBTQ couples.
Unfortunately, a key difference is that it's the State doing it in this case, and a private agency before. That may end up being the difference here. It still doesn't change the fact that the Catholic Church seems much more Interested in politics and litigating than actually helping people.
It's not hypocrisy, it's their self-interest. They have a political agenda and are spending their lives doing what they can to enforce it, and that means helping their faction gain a foothold into every aspect of public life, especially raising children which they have said emphatically non-stop is all about forcing younger people who don't have the ability to reject them logically to adopt their beliefs. They only care about making more Christians and shutting out enemies of what they think constitutes Christianity, especially the LGBTQ+ community.
They're being entirely consistent in that light.
Yes, it would only be considered hypocritical if they are making the assertion that everyone should be allowed to foster children regardless of their beliefs and whether or not they intend to impose them on the children. But that's not what they are saying.
Or America is really just fucked up
¿Porque no los dos?
I mean, America is fucked up because of tribalism and identity politics (both Republicans and Democrats do this) so yeah, it's los dos
This is why conservatives should not be permitted to be foster parents. Child abuse is a foundational principle of conservatism.
As a child of conservatives, I can confirm...
I agree no child should be placed in a home that would endanger them, but why is this even news? Couple needs to grow a pair and either change their views or just not adopt/foster. Go back to church or golf or whatever. Quit bothering the legal system. Perhaps they could volunteer for an LGBTQ organization and learn why "the T" doesn't make anyone different or lesser.
There are even dozens of Christian adoption and fostering agencies that will completely ignore any and all criminal histories if you are godly enough. In fact, being as hypocritical as possible seems to be a selling point for these agencies. If you preach God's love but have smashed a racists face into the concrete and lost your job over it and then shot your dog in the street while your wife defrauds the public and scams vulnerable people to the point of being sued by the state of Texas then you are exactly who they are looking to foster.
Edit: apologies, my fat fingers bungled it: if you are a racist who smashes black people's faces into the concrete
What's wrong with smashing a racist's face into concrete?
You're not supposed to hurt your friends.
See, that's why religious people are a cancer, look who they befriend.
Edited, I'm bad at typing. He was a racist who smashes a black man into the concrete
“Gay people suck, unless I can use them as a stick to beat up Muslims”
Fuck off.
Tell me more about this “making assumptions” thing. I’m especially interested about everything you seem to know I “think”.
Projection much?
If you are planning on continuing this discussion, mind rule 1.
Yeah, child abuse isn’t an ideal trait to have if you intend to be the legal guardian of children.
Fuck that couple in particular.
Good, no child should be placed with parents who may discriminate against them for their natural state of being.
"Views", meaning they'll abandon their child if they ever come out or acknowledge that LGBTQ people exist...
Hahahaha! What a great take.
good? why should children be indoctrinated into bigotry
I think that until the church does a few strong demonstrations that they are not fiddling with children anymore - like, say, a public commitment to turn all allegations of child abuse over to secular authorities, like Biden just did with the military - that they should not be allowed access to children that they don't produce themselves.
Cat: They shouldn't even be allowed access to the children they do make themselves.
That's a much more difficult one to defend, from a legal or ethical or moral stance.
My opinion is that teaching a child religion as the only truth is child abuse, without telling the child that there are also people who believe there are no supernatural phenomena in the universe and explaining their best arguments for their viewpoint. It's no different than existing in a society of hunters and not teaching the kid to hunt. We win by knowing more, not by being stronger or tougher or purer in dog's eyes or whatever.
But my opinion is no basis for passing laws and such. When you're talking about who should take care of orphans, or of kids who have been subject to treatment that the law agrees is abuse, the mere having of bad viewpoints which are nonetheless legal is not sufficient grounds, if you ask me. Many religious people would consider my above opinion to be bad at best and hate speech at worst, for instance, but I think my wife and I would do alright taking care of a kid, if we had the time and resources to give.
But IF the people proposing to take a child into their care are regular attendees of the meetings of an organization that is known to protect pedophiles, that is definitely grounds to turn down that application on very solid legal footing, if you ask me.
Cat: If someone can't be trusted to treat an adopted kid right, they can't be trusted to treat any kid right. End of story.
Well, I'm already on the record as to my view of what constitutes child abuse; the fact of the matter is that we have to live with a lot of people doing a lot of things that we don't like to children in a free society in 2023.
What is kinda good from my 50-odd year perspective is that people are not quite so entitled now as they were when I was a kid.
I'll allow it.
So:
I think point 2 kinda invalidates the lawsuit, and point 4 is going to become extremely relevant when we find out they were fine with hitting kids who misbehaved or something.
The article calls this a "complaint" rather than a "lawsuit" so I guess this is moot.
The couple seems to think people have the right to foster by default, and the regulation sets out conditions for when this right can be revoked.
I'm not sure of the actual law, but it seems to me that the right to foster should be granted on a case by case basis. Regulation should set the necessary requirements, but the department should have the final say on the sufficient requirements. And the department should be allowed to revoke an application for any reason or even no (stated) reason.
Like, you shouldn't just have the right to foster by default.
Discrimination against the discriminators is kosher.
Only when it's the right type of discrimination.
Yes? If you choose to be a homophobic racist sexist asshole, you should be discriminated against.
Sexual orientation, gender, sex, skin color are all things you don't choose, you're just born that way.
I don't get why they think this is discriminatory when Massachusetts is mostly Catholic to begin with. Because they have a superiority complex, they are "true Catholics" I suppose? I mean even the papacy, USCCB and other large Catholic regulators have shifted their views on LGBTQ people. While a lot of dioceses still aren't yet uniamious on marriage equality or performing same-sex marriages within church premises and with church tradition/clergy, I think most now say the queer community at least deserves love, respect, and tolerance. Being trans or nonbinary is tricky, yes, but if you foster a child who considers a transition it's important to give them spaces to really evaluate the choice. Take them to therapy, support groups, and maybe some medical consultations to evaluate their options. With children especially but people in general shouldn't transition completely on a lark. Make sure they are confident in their choice. Still, these people couldn't even have a nuanced approach like that. What a shame.
It's a plant. These people are probably intentionally doing this to get a case before the US Supreme Court who will (they hope) overturn it. I'll bet they knew this would happen.
Massachusetts is not "mostly Catholic". Of all the states, it is next to last in religiousness.
I suppose I mean it is mostly Catholic as in the church has a large present in Massachusetts (where I live as well). Lots of people here grew up in the church, were baptised in Catholic tradition, did Catholic sacraments like confession, communion, or confirmation as children. Catholic charities play a large part of a lot of the social services here too. This survey is unusual because it doesn't seem to check off the qualities of religiosity. What are they praying about, what kind of God do they believe in, and how do they behave when they attend services? I'm quite skeptical since the supposedly most religious states are Southern red states, which are often religious in hallow, discriminatory ways. In the northeast culture, people are uncomfortable being seen as highly religious because we also want to seem rational, but that doesn't make us completely non-practicing. My point is, the judges, lawyers, and/or witnesses this couple will encounter likely also have a familiarity with Catholicism and can just as well find a doctrinal rebuttal to their bigotry in addition to legal ones.
The state cannot start being allowed to make determinations about what religious groups may and may not adopt children. Thats fundamentally on so many levels not fucking ok.
We can and should as long as it's based on relevant behavior not religious affiliation. If you don't believe in using proscribed antibiotics you should not be caring for kids, for example. I don't care if it's because your god told you they were evil or because you think your healing crystals are better.
the determination should be based on your ability to care for the child emotionally, physically and psychologically. if you can't do all 3, then you're unfit to be a parent.
Wait what?
Of course I should be able to discriminate people if they argue for intolerance. Popper, anyone?
Value in tradition? What traditions are these people valuing?
I'm sure you know this and you're just a troll. But just as a reference to other readers, I'd like to remind everybody that biology supports LGBT kids, not bigots.
@kadu @[email protected]
The only good thing to come out of comments like that is my block button gets used quickly.
Could also just change whenever you wanted, if that were the case. But no, I deliberately endured nearly a decade of pain because I 'chose' to be bi, in their words, lol.
Not to discount your opposition to their point, which should be opposed, but you do know that sexuality is pretty fluid for a vast number of people along the Kinsey scale, right? For a lot of people, they ARE heterosexual because they are indoctrinated that way from an early age. Not everyone capable of being sexually fluid identifies that way.
You mean like how religion indoctrinates people and hides actual pedophiles while pointing the finger elsewhere?
And the long history of abuse of children by nuns and priests in children's homes and religious schools/ facilities?
Being LGBT isn't something you just wake up and choose to 'identify' as. You don't wake up and decide, hey I'm gonna be gay! It's just part of who you are.
Religion is a choice and something that can and does indoctrinate people. Maybe look in the right direction and you'll see who the actual bad guys are.
Biologically speaking, gay people are born that way.
No one is born religious.
So tell me again about indoctrination.