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edit: [email protected] found it after I forgot to save the link: https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/forum/all/unable-to-install-updates-unless-battery-is/99bb073a-948e-4ccf-b14f-46e192fac457
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Comments73View original on sh.itjust.works
Found the post on the forums. The screenshot omits the comment from Craig who said "I ended up wiping windows and installing Ubuntu instead".
I found this reply helpful too, and so should you.
Hehe.
Thank you, I've updated the post body.
By the way, Lemmy also lets you update the post image itself.
I saw a great one yesterday.
Question: Help, I can't boot, here's the error code. I'm stuck in a loop and can't get into windows.
Answer: Open Microsoft explorer, navigate to....
sfc /scannowdoes fix certain problems, just not nearly as many as the Microsoft support forum would like.I do agree with you on the log, although that's often because whichever component is misbehaving just doesn't believe in error logs. I'm looking at you, Nvidia.
Hey, that's not true! sfc takes forever to run, so it's a good way to waste time and get even more frustrated.
DISM /Online /Cleanup-Image /RestoreHealthand pray it fixes everything before you reinstall.It's at the level where, after spending hours there, I feel like it has to be a conspiracy to waste your time. Because there is no way there could organically be that many posts about a topic without there being any useful or correct information.
Actually I had an issue where trying to sign into my samba share caused explorer.exe to crash constantly, running
sfc /scannowfixed it surprisingly. Glad that's on my "these programs only work on Windows" system.Sometimes it makes a network connection work temporarily.
I'm John from Microsoft and I have over 25 years of experience.
Please update your drivers and run run sfc /scannow.
I hope that helps,
John
Or then you do find an article that helps but its a registry edit.
With an alternative method involving a page in settings that only existed between may 2015 and feb 2016.
I've been running Linux for 4 years, but this still hurts to read
Into Cmd, super commandline or super commandline 2?
I think now it's Windows Cloud Commander 11000, soon to be re-integrated into your Office 366 account. Elevated privileges require a premium subscription.
I found more help in stack overflow for windows related issues compared to Microsoft.
I've never had a case where running that fixed anything. I get it makes sense to verify system integrity but I'm guessing the OS already does that on its own once in a while.
It does when there is system corruption. You first need to find the thing that caused the corruption though
You know, last time I've reached the MS forum, there was a support person there answering "No, there's no way to disable the Teams pop-up that appears over your shared screen when you mute the microphone. Lots of people ask the same question, and the developers have no plans of changing this".
The answer was complete, helpful, and completely out of the normal for the forum. The only thing more out of character would be if Teams actually had an option to make it work as any sane person would expect, but then, this is not on the forum people.
Seems suspicious. There probably is such an option hidden somewhere. Because whenever you get a clear answer there, it's invariably wrong.
Well, if you find it, please tell :)
It's a clear Microsoft paradox: is the support person right, or did Teams do something reasonable?
The funniest part about this is that almost every linux installation is totally different from every other one, whereas every windows installation is almost identical.
But really, I certainly wouldn't enter any random commands I was given from the internet on a linux machine unless I knew damn well what they did.
Why is Microsoft's support so completely and utterly useless, anyway? Do they purposely hire people who don't understand how computers work for their support team? They almost always reply with a "solution" that has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. Why are they so bad at their jobs?
As a user, it seems to me that Microsoft figured out a way to get the customers they care about to hire and pay for their own "Microsoft support" people.
If I have a problem at work with one of those M365 websites I use, or with the Windows partition I don't, and I can't fix it myself, the person helping me is going to be a fellow employee and not [email protected].
Because they're not Microsoft support. Microsoft Answers is a user forum and the "MVPs" there providing "support" are at best volunteers and at worst bots.
My favorite one was an issue with a device not showing up when plugged in, and their solution is to click on it and reinstall drivers
My guess is they oursourced the work to people who only understand basic English and answer the question they were able to decipher from a few keywords and the assumption that the question is about the most basic aspect of those keywords.
This is a huge upside of Linux. When something breaks you can make a web search and learn how to fix it, or that it's unfixable. On windows you make a search and all you get is this bs and seo article spam
There's a lot of SEO spam when searching for Linux issues, too.
Nah, arch wiki and forums are good, btw.
Just out of interest. What are some of these unfixable issues?
Usually hardware support
HDMI 2.1 with AMD for example.
Also - not just when something breaks? Like, you want to change the color of something, an icon, the default response to a key bind or behavior…. There are so many times when I’m forced to use commercial software and there’s some inane extra thing that is messing up my work flow, and there’s no way to change it.
My Arch machine has only the things I want on it. I don’t have to dig into registry keys to disable Cortana or whatever. When I’m running on poverty hardware, dwm/xmonad are bare enough DEs that I can internet browsers smooth and fast.
Linux will let you do whatever you want as long as you are smart/determined to spend hours googling.
Honestly a month ago me and my friend were looking at microsoft forums. One of which was somebody asking why tiktok was preinstalled in windows 11. Forum admin replied that it was bloat from a manufacturer of the hardware. It was a homebuilt computer and fresh copy of windows 11 home.
28 more people said windows 11 did this by default, the admin eventually realized it was not accidental or a fluke. Which he previously eluded to.
Shows the current state of windows 11
Alluded
I like to think it was a wordplay.
The wordplay alluded me.
They should've told them to run sfc /scannow
User: Hi! I'm having a problem. The
sfccommand doesn't work. Is there a solution to this?Microsoft Support: * panics *
The microsoft forums are the one place that could be fully automatized. You post a problem about anything, really anything. Can't change wallpaper? Can't login? Screen flashing? Files disappearing? Constant loud pitched noise? It's all the same. The answer, whatever your issue, is
sfc /scannow, "Restoration point" and "Reinstall".And arguably, that last step will most likely make the issue go away, at the price of not having a fucking clue as to what was wrong, losing a lot of time afterward, and having a fair chance of re-doing the same things, causing the issue to show up again. Great stuff.
You forgot the dism scans.
Also launching an update to see if it fixes things.
The most pissing thing is that the Microsoft "support" forum is always the top search result. Sometimes it occupies 5 or more of the top search results.
...but I haven't had to deal with that since I switched to Linux last year, so...yay!
Semi-relevant xkcd, but replace the last sentence with "Oh, he just wiped Windows and installed Ubuntu? Uh, cool, that works too."
Man, sometimes I forget how long xkcd's been going
Even more infuriating are those messages marked [FIXED] when the freaking post had a negative response or no response at all from the user.
Those forums should be full of endless posts marked [PENDING] or [EXPIRED].
CLOSED (Reason: No interaction)
That makes it sound like the fault is on the user side.
When there's no interaction it's usually because the user gave up.
The marker should be something that makes it clear that the responses were not helpful.
Very accurate 😂
Man, I hate all the boilerplate that Microsoft uses in their documentation, it's a pain to read anything.
I swear there's a weird fetish going around Redmond where their only release is to get you to run SFC /scannow
I said this before on another thread, but the only time sfc /scannow actually did something was when I had a machine with a drive that had a few bad blocks.
And of course it didn't actually fix anything because a system DLL was corrupt so DISM couldn't even repair the system, meaning the only solution was to reinstall windows.
I mean the guy’s name is literally Mac DePriest, so either MacOS or Temple OS.
- did you try reinstalling windows?need to see the source lmao
https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/forum/all/unable-to-install-updates-unless-battery-is/99bb073a-948e-4ccf-b14f-46e192fac457
Please updoot another commenter who sent it first instead. And, also, take a long look at the issue as it's hilarious too. Just like theirs, my laptop would try to update every reboot and cancel it seeing less than 40% battery because the battery is, well, long dead and the laptop is plugged into a wall socket all the time. Once a safeguard against idiots it grew idiotic itself.
omg that's hilarious, truly a windows moment
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/linux_user_at_best_buy.png
recruiting post
The entire thread is hilarious.
"I had to remove my laptop's battery, now Windows won't update."
"Are you using a laptop or desktop?"
"I said I am using a laptop without a battery."
"Please share a screenshot of your device manager, so I can make sure whether or not you are using a laptop or desktop."
"Fine." (Posts screenshot)
"According to your screenshot, you are using a laptop, and it has a battery in it. Please charge the battery to 40%."
"That's it. I'm using Linux."
Does it solve whatever Windows problem they were having?
No? Then it is not helpful.
It is like asking for help to fix a hole in your pants, and someone replies with "just buy a skirt".
I've replied to someone having a problem with Linux to just install Windows. It is the exact same useless vibe.
Well it is more like your ceiling is leaking from the apartment above and your landlord ain't doing shit. Installing Linux would be like moving out to another apartment or home. Even if it doesn't fix the leak the problem is now gone for you.
Ok, but what if the problem was that you didn't like the door color and you weren't allowed to paint it because of your landlord.
Are you still going to move your entire life to a different location?
Most problems on the Microsoft forums aren't going to explode their computers.
It has to be something that is nearly fully outside your control but is affecting you, there are probably milder problems as examples but I think this apt.
In the metaphor, half of the answers are asking you to do a useless workaround, blame you and/or are irrelevant to solving the problem. Hence the leak, where the answers are telling you to try running your taps for 10 minutes, put a bucket under the leak, telling you that there is no leak and that's actually a water fountain, etc.
I don't think that's a great comparison. You're most likely never allowed to paint your door. I would say it's more like curtains, your apartment has proprietary curtain rods, that you can't put your own curtains on for some reason, so you ask all your neighbors how to change them. They respond with "have you tried opening and closing your curtains yet?", "Try vacuuming them to get the dust off". Then you finally get a hold of the landlord and they say you can't replace them.
Are they still experiencing whatever problem they were having?
No? Then it is a solution. Not the solution, and not a possible solution for everyone, but it is a solution.
So what you are saying is that if someone has a problem with Linux, replying with "just install Windows" is a valid fix?
You "fixed" the issue by giving them 10 more problems.
Are you also giving them alternatives to all the software they use daily that isn't compatible with Linux?
What if they have hardware that is incompatible? Like Nvidea and certain printers?
You are essentially telling them to rip out everything and start anew. Which just isn't feasible or even necessary when they just have one problem.
So no, you did not fix anything.
Did you completely miss the part where I said "Not the solution, and not a possible solution for everyone, but it is a solution"? I don't know what you think the usual troubleshooting process is, but it doesn't start with "uninstall Windows". Obviously the user was sufficiently intelligent to consider the advantages and disadvantages of switching, and based on that information, chose a course of action that they thought was correct, and it ended up being the solution to their issue.
I don't know how else I can spell it out for you. Computer users are not dumbasses. They have agency over their own actions.
TIL that millions are spent buying nvidia hardware but none of those companies can actually use them
Just think, an extra long shirt can cover that hole, and we could embed a flexible display, wifi module, and a camera in the extra space. This could scan the faces of those around you, and display personalized ads! This is an excellent solution to the hole in your pants, and frankly, the only secure one.
Please don't install a camera in my hole.
Microsoft should replace support team with llm chatbot. Much better.