Spyke
sh.itjust.works

Actually, there is only 1 Santa who gets cloned into every Santa believing household on earth. But this clone has a deadly allergy to milk. The body gets removed by an elf afterwards.

27
ummthatguyreply
lemmy.world

Could also be the result of transporter shenanigans. Chief O'Brien has a regularly updated copy in the pattern buffer and releases a few handfuls every holiday season... then a quick memory scan and into the matter recycler 'til next time.

16

What a coincidence, every holiday season I also release a few handfuls.

2
sh.itjust.works

That doesn't seem like that many cookies. Assuming an average of three cookies per household, that's only ~100 million houses visted. Santa is either racist or he's being paid off by the elven mafia to exclusively visit certain homes, only logical explanation for the discrepancy in the cookie consumption to global household ratio.

19
lemmy.world

Gotta imagine not every house puts out cookies. And since there are ~127 million households, that seems to work out pretty well.

Tho I have heard he leaves out Milwaukee for religious reasons.

1
Sabre363reply
sh.itjust.works

Ahh, but that 127 million only accounts for the United States or perhaps a few other nations. There surely are at least a couple other countries in the world that are the 'Santa Visit Roster'

3

It's amazing how Santa always wanted to drink the same cheap lager as my dad.

3
lemmy.ml

I need sleep. I read this as three numbers in an array and was curious why Santa split them over three days.

5

He needs some time to recover. That's why Christmas is only once a year

2

My kid probably got pretty close to that number. He's fine.

Good kid. He's got my wife's eyes and my eating disorder.

2

The alternative is they include the whole world then it's "not everybody celebrates christmas!!" It's a lose/lose situation. It's so easy to be upset and take things to serious. Lighten up enjoy the joke and move on. It's not that deep. People aren't gonna sit down and analyze the probable statics of who does and who does not celebrate then make a meme.

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Merry Christmas to Santa's digestive tract! | Spyke