Spyke
lemmy.world

If you're pounding one out that won't really save you. He probably games with headphones and just doesn't want to get jump scares by mom.

I always had a desk and a bed and I made a point to never have my back towards the door when I was at my desk for the above reason.

204
toynbeereply
lemmy.world

I used to almost exclusively listen to any kind of audio through headphones. I had a microphone near my desk configured so that it would pass through the vibration of footsteps directly to my headphones. I was rarely startled, no matter what sordid activity I was undertaking.

50
lemmy.ml

I swear the footsteps trigger a Pavlov response in me at this point. I can even tell who it is by the footsteps

32
slrpnk.net

Pavlov

As in you instantly lose an erection, because you've been conditioned to associate footfalls with a ruined orgasm?

22

I used to be able to do that, too! These days, I live with two people: an adult wife and a toddler. Their gaits are pretty easily distinguishable.

9

By nature noticing these things repeatedly either comes from hypervigilance or having sensory differences that make you hear footsteps when others would not.

Obviously there are exceptions like if you live on a floor lower than someone or something.

2

Honestly, that was some 25-30 years ago. It was pretty simple to setup back then, but it might not be the same now, especially in Windows.

5

I forget the type of mic but there are mics specifically designed for picking up vibrations from surfaces (I googled it, they're called surface mics ffs, could probably use a cheap normal mic without a pop filter tho)

If those use USB or 3.5mm, or can be made to, then plug them in and on windows check the "listen to this device" checkbox and boom, you'll hear what's coming through that mic. Adjust the sensitivity to your needs, done

On other OSs you can do it too just as easily but I don't remember what my Linux distro calls it and if you've installed Linux you have enough info from my comment to figure it out methinks

5
lemmy.world

Fap with one eye ooooopen

Gripping your tube sock tiiight

Exit porn...

Enter mom....

Move your hand

And hope your boner doesn't stand

137

I know, the melody somehow started playing in my head from the first line. I still don't know why they did it but I'm not complaining.

9

Cut my sight into pieces

I can see you past the door...

Masturbation,

No squeezin,

Don't give a fuck if I bust a nut hands-free

1

"And when we hide porno, we go all out. It ain’t behind the refrigerator or under the bed. No, we become Batman when it’s time to hide some porno."

12

You reached the end