As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you're buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.
You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you're cruel.
Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.
Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it's a middle aged person who clearly doesn't understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you're on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don't recognize?
A bit less, partly because it's easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one's phone, if one can figure out which language it is
Brother if you're pissing straight ammonia you've got other problems. Your body specifically coverts ammonia to urea because it's toxic to you and it's usually bacteria that converts it back.
It does happen, you just don't get that much of a reaction because it's diluted. You definitely don't want to stick around the fumes that it gives off though.
Huh, the ones I've seen always say to flush thoroughly, and I've been told it's to prevent a potential buildup of residue from clogging the toilet or bursting a pipe. Maybe that's outdated info, or because of a different formula? Wouldn't be the first time some old wisdom doesn't apply to modern products anymore.
This depends on the color of your skin. Anything darker than a farmer's tan and she's probably calling her manager over, but otherwise she probably won't bat an eye.
I once bought 50 cans of butane. That caused a stir. Managers got involved, I was asked a whole bunch of questions about what I was doing, it was annoying.
Oh yeah, also had a similar experience with spray paint.
I painted my skoolie (used school bus converted to a motor home) with about sixty cans of Rustoleum. It was annoying as fuck trying to buy the stuff at Home Depot. Like, I'm going to go tagging with fucking Antique White spray paint?
You can simply buy the small charge canisters of them. A twelve pack in about the same footprint as a four pack of beer, and is about 4ish inches tall.
Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don't care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn't have any idea.
In the era of ai and facial recognition, this is the only one so far that seems like it could plausibly get you a knock on the door from law enforcement. Good job.
Went out once to buy movie tickets, get back to the old big screen to experience it properly again. But it was very noisy and busy so it was more than enough with just the one time.
No they're not. At Tim Horton's their special branded version are called "Timbits", but everyone knows the term "doughnut holes" and unless they're specifically talking about the kind from Tim Horton's they won't use that term.
Consider that your experience is not universal to all Canadians.
(Good news, mine isn't either.)
Around here, people were baking donut holes before Tim Hortons was a thing, we called them "Trous de beignes" which is just french for doughnut holes.
Now, I imagine there are places where that isn't the case, like whatever parts you're from.
And no, neither of us should post a photo of our Canadian passport or a video of our dead grandma mentioning them.
I'm not about to post PII online and we weren't filming ourselves doing random shit before smart phones.
French-speaking Canadians prefer to use the generic term "trous de beigne".
Sorry, neither my grandma nor my mom were posting on instagram making doughnut holes 20 years before Internet was even a thing?
The world existed before the Internet and we baked Trous de beignes in the kitchen instead of buying garbage frozen cardboard from some shitty corp.
They were smaller than Timbits because we literally just fried the hole part we removed from the doughnuts we also made. We'd use a glass to cut the doughnut shape and a sewing thimble for the hole because it was the right size.
The kitchen smelled for days and my mom would funnel the oil back in a container to reuse for the next batch months later.
As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you're buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.
You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you're cruel.
Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.
ಠ_ಠ
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)
Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it's a middle aged person who clearly doesn't understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you're on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don't recognize?
A bit less, partly because it's easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one's phone, if one can figure out which language it is
How make a cashier consider on the job suicide
What aisle has the half-dead old person
In my Walmart there is one in every aisle directly in front of what I want scratching their ass and adjusting their teeth.
I'm going with the classic:
Pringles can
Gloves
Sponge
Going in dry I see
Once you pop, the fun don't stop. Shit's getting chafed up in this bitch
Webcam, cactus and KY
You can't buy Kentucky at Walmart.
Oh, I thought they sold it by the Florida ounce
I hope you are trying to be slick
Not without the Kentucky he isn't.
SPIT ON THAT THANG
Swap cactus for mason jar
How to end up on a watchlist:
Pressure cooker, nails, prepaid phone
Casio F-91W watch, soldering iron, electronics wire.
You're going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone
Kid's backpack, kid's lunchbox, and a gun.
The back to school in America special.
Put the gun in the lunchbox and the lunchbox in the backpack
Gun, bleach, get well card.
Mop, wire coat hanger, pregnancy test.
bleach, ammonia based cleaner, mixing container.
uh oh, accidental chloramine gas bomb
reminder people, do NOT mix bleach with ammonia based cleaners to "speed up cleaning". youll accidentally speed up life
Why doesn't this happen when I piss in bleach
Brother if you're pissing straight ammonia you've got other problems. Your body specifically coverts ammonia to urea because it's toxic to you and it's usually bacteria that converts it back.
Urea + bleach also makes chloramines
It's diluted
It does happen, you just don't get that much of a reaction because it's diluted. You definitely don't want to stick around the fumes that it gives off though.
Why do you piss in bleach?
The bottle says no need to flush the bleach before using the toilet
Huh, the ones I've seen always say to flush thoroughly, and I've been told it's to prevent a potential buildup of residue from clogging the toilet or bursting a pipe. Maybe that's outdated info, or because of a different formula? Wouldn't be the first time some old wisdom doesn't apply to modern products anymore.
Clogged toilets are unheard of in Australia, so don't know lol
Can't see bleach blocking any pipes
KY
inside out glove
couch
What's a KY?
Lube
Kentucky
I'm good at this
Alligator clamps
Belt
Laxatives
Shipping boxes
Meat cleaver
Adult diapers
Birth control
Bucket
Bleach
Night vision goggles
Fingerless gloves
Bubble bath
Massager
Leather boots
Farady cage EMP bag
Zip ties
Meat grinder
Swim goggles
Funnel
Butt lifting suit
Rope
Prescription strength deodorant
Dog crate
Sorry for your loss card
Wooden cross
Ammo
Jock strap
Okay, actually it's just a script I wrote.
The easy-way-to-end-up-with-a-police-visit classic:
Plan B pill
Giant "9" balloon
Vodka.
It's what some people will pickup before going to a house and getting a surprise visit from Chris Hansen.
Gun, ammunition, balaclava
Gun ammunition, baklava
Hmmm, a baklava gun.
Now I want some of that sweet full-auto pastry goodness.
Last meal
This depends on the color of your skin. Anything darker than a farmer's tan and she's probably calling her manager over, but otherwise she probably won't bat an eye.
Here, terrorists in balaclavas are stereotypically white
You ain't never been hunting have you
I once bought 50 cans of butane. That caused a stir. Managers got involved, I was asked a whole bunch of questions about what I was doing, it was annoying.
Oh yeah, also had a similar experience with spray paint.
I painted my skoolie (used school bus converted to a motor home) with about sixty cans of Rustoleum. It was annoying as fuck trying to buy the stuff at Home Depot. Like, I'm going to go tagging with fucking Antique White spray paint?
More like huff yourself to death
I'd be better off buying 60 cans of Reddi-Whip.
Who has the fridge space for that?!?!
You can simply buy the small charge canisters of them. A twelve pack in about the same footprint as a four pack of beer, and is about 4ish inches tall.
https://www.amazon.com/Best-Whip-BW-24-Whipped-chargers/dp/B00ZYFD13O
What WERE you doing?
Making drugs, and graffiti
I think some of you have never been to Walmart and give the employees way too much credit in the intelligence department
I mean it's more likely that they just don't give a shit anymore.
Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don't care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn't have any idea.
This is accurate to my experience when I worked at the supermarket.
And that's what I prefer.
Whiskey, hammer, baby rattle.
You're going to surprise some friends' newborn with a custom baby rattle made from an empty whiskey bottle and the handle of a hammer. Very chique
Sodium Hydroxide, hacksaw, large trash can
In the era of ai and facial recognition, this is the only one so far that seems like it could plausibly get you a knock on the door from law enforcement. Good job.
Car battery
Jumper cables
Duct tape
If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!
None of this would attract attention, this is what you would buy to work on an old car. You don't get out much do you? 🤣
Are you working on the car or doing a patch job until you can work on the car?
There's nothing more permanent than a temporary fix.
If you think the mechanics you go to aren't cowboys, you're wrong.
If you think the guy who wired up your home wasn't a cowboy, you're wrong.
If you think the guy you would hire to wire up your home now isn't a cowboy, you're wrong.
It's cowboys all the way down.
I've inspected enough homes to realize that the people with the least respect for the dangers of poorly-installed wiring are electricians.
Yeah that hurts just right.
Depends on whether I'm getting paid fam
Right. I'm just having trouble imagining a scenario that would require a new battery and duct tape but not fasteners of any kind or bolts...
How else do you fix a seat belt anchor
Going to an auto parts store? If you do that with duct tape then you're going to have a very bad time.
Damn boy woosh
Went out once to buy movie tickets, get back to the old big screen to experience it properly again. But it was very noisy and busy so it was more than enough with just the one time.
What movie? Casablanca?
I'd go for jumpers, tape, and a tarp. Using the car battery makes it seem like your car battery died. Rope would also make it creepy.
That's also all stuff you can use while working on your vehicle.
True, zip ties would also fit in that category
I can never remember; is it the left or right nipple that goes to battery positive??
Rope, duck tape, and a tarp.
Chlorine, ammonia and a large plastic tub
Toaster, bathtub plug, pop tarts
Shovel, biodegradable garbage bags and zip ties.
You're going to clean up a beach with some friends? How thoughtful of you!
They're only biodegradable when exposed to the sun.
So you are saying to only use the bag for transport. Leave the bags out in the sun afterwards.
This is the way
Actually even better would be use them to take out a bunch of meats and other bloody trimmings to throw off the scent.
Small plastic bags, rubber bands and viagra. (does Walmart sell viagra?)
I’m very disappointed. I couldn’t find any cardboard tubes at my local Walmart.
Anyway:
Check in the party section, over by the office supplies. Wrapping paper makes great cardboard tubes.
Source: I, uh... saw it in a movie, yeah
The hero we deserve!
"The 100 piece puzzles were too hard..."
A gallon of blood, tampons, and a Popsicle kit.
What Walmart sells blood?!
Ask for it special from the deli/meat section or settle for the fake stuff during Halloween, I guess?
some sell blood in the meat department. This is only likely to be found in a place with a big population that uses it, commonly, in cooking.
Username checks out
Screws, hammer, sledgehammer
Apples, razor blades, carmel
Gatorade
Pregnancy tests
Plan B
Even worse:
Gatorade
Pregnancy test
Wire coat hangers
Couch, lube, a Barry White album.
Duct tape, Rope, newspaper
Super hard mode: 2 items
Vaginal cream and a fly swatter
Frozen pizza and canned pineapple
This is the best one so far 😂
We're trying to freak them out, not get a fist bump
I think pineapple on pizza is maybe even more divisive than cilantro/coriander. I'm pro both
Rope Duct tape Zip ties
Keep it simple.
Going to hoist yourself up and finally sort out that leaky drainpipe I see
Bleach, a saw, and cat litter.
a turkey baster and bleach
I've got this. Showing up with just these items in your basket at Walmart would be certain to raise questions:
The vodka would probably get you thrown out
Carrots Vegetable peeler Lube
What's a peeler lube? Or is it carrots vegetable?
I think the comment is missing some commas. This is what I think it's supposed to be:
I know, I know. I just wanted to poke fun at it. Maybe I should have added a /s?
No they're not. At Tim Horton's their special branded version are called "Timbits", but everyone knows the term "doughnut holes" and unless they're specifically talking about the kind from Tim Horton's they won't use that term.
No the fuck I don't.
-Signed A Canadian.
Canadian here. You're a shill.
Is it a regional thing? Like Southern US folks calling all fizzy soda pop drinks regardless of brand "Coke"
Consider that your experience is not universal to all Canadians.
(Good news, mine isn't either.)
Around here, people were baking donut holes before Tim Hortons was a thing, we called them "Trous de beignes" which is just french for doughnut holes.
Now, I imagine there are places where that isn't the case, like whatever parts you're from.
And no, neither of us should post a photo of our Canadian passport or a video of our dead grandma mentioning them.
I'm not about to post PII online and we weren't filming ourselves doing random shit before smart phones.
Your own source even corroborates what I've said:
Sorry, neither my grandma nor my mom were posting on instagram making doughnut holes 20 years before Internet was even a thing?
The world existed before the Internet and we baked Trous de beignes in the kitchen instead of buying garbage frozen cardboard from some shitty corp.
They were smaller than Timbits because we literally just fried the hole part we removed from the doughnuts we also made. We'd use a glass to cut the doughnut shape and a sewing thimble for the hole because it was the right size.
The kitchen smelled for days and my mom would funnel the oil back in a container to reuse for the next batch months later.
as a brazilian, i have no idea if you're right.