No, but I've wanted to ctrl+f before.

Thanks to smartphones and tablets, I default to ‘every screen is a touchscreen’ mode.

It has been known to happen.

nope

I have caught myself trying to zoom in on a book or magazine before, yes. Also thinking I would hit ctrl-f to search.

Yes! Compulsively, every time I read a magazine. Even though I spent my formative years in analogue times. It is now fully ingrained.

Seen a kid try and swipe to the 'next' fish pic on a large aquarium

No, but I would have loved a ctrl+z many times...

I looked at the front page of a (physical, on paper) newspaper yesterday and wanted to tap one of the teasers to get to the article inside.

I have totally double tapped something expecting it to get bigger.

Reminds me of this video from about a decade ago.

I've done that, only with highlighting text in a physical book. I read ebooks and frequently highlight words I don't know or quotes I want to save. Lol