My mum was raised without eating pork (they just didn't have it growing up), and my dad saw and heard the abattoir near daily and associates the smell of pork with screaming children.
On the odd weekend when they were both away, us kids would sprint to the store, grab reams of bacon and cook it fast on the sly for a real fry-up. We'd have to air out the house as well afterwards to get rid of the smell, but they'd always know and complain about it when they got back
Protip for if you find a time machine: Charcoal Grill, fire extinguisher, tinfoil, and a pan that'll fit in the grill. Start your grill, get it all hot and stuff, line your pan with foil, drop your bacon on, cover, and check occasionally, flip when needed. DO NOT spill the grease, but if you do that's why the fire extinguisher is here. For best results use thick cut bacon (always).
Keeps the smell outside and it'll be some of the best bacon you've ever had, it's just kiiiind of a fire hazard...
Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.
LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...
Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)
Mushrooms are sold in head shops in Oakland, California. I understand that to be the case in a number of cities. You may be able to make your way to one of them.
I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing
A strong few years of devoted, in-depth field research on the subject yielded this insight and…not much else. Still trying to get published, maybe in High Times Investigative Quarterly (they’re an academic outfit, right?)
In that situation I make myself a half-rack of pork ribs in the slowcooker.
Wife doesn't actually mind this, she just doesn't care for pork ribs herself and I don't feel like making her a separate meal when I'm indulging my inner carnivore.
Wild! Orna is a geobased RPG which has bright purple teardrops called arcane slimes that you can fight.
It’s a pretty good game, but the creator wanted to avoid all scammy mobile game tactics and there’s not enough scarcity to make it long term engaging. It’s very fun for a few months every couple years or so, though, which I like better, tbh.
Sleep on her side of the bed. Then don’t tell her what you did.
This is some next-level chaos.
She'll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.
And bits of dried pizza cheese.
When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen
When my partner is out of town that's the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription
My mum was raised without eating pork (they just didn't have it growing up), and my dad saw and heard the abattoir near daily and associates the smell of pork with screaming children.
On the odd weekend when they were both away, us kids would sprint to the store, grab reams of bacon and cook it fast on the sly for a real fry-up. We'd have to air out the house as well afterwards to get rid of the smell, but they'd always know and complain about it when they got back
I'm so glad your mom and dad found each other.
Protip for if you find a time machine: Charcoal Grill, fire extinguisher, tinfoil, and a pan that'll fit in the grill. Start your grill, get it all hot and stuff, line your pan with foil, drop your bacon on, cover, and check occasionally, flip when needed. DO NOT spill the grease, but if you do that's why the fire extinguisher is here. For best results use thick cut bacon (always).
Keeps the smell outside and it'll be some of the best bacon you've ever had, it's just kiiiind of a fire hazard...
YEEEEEE LEZZ GOOOOOO
Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.
LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...
Don't change your underwear for two days.
Already on it.
I'm proud of you.
Factorio
He said he only had a weekend though.
"Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing."
We are not the same meme
I lasted like 40 mins before hitting the vape pen
Again, Factorio
Good
Relevant username
Where I'm from we call a bong a billy.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billycan
Enjoy!
Try a tab of lsd and go for a nice walk in the woods
Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)
Ugh. I hate it when people have a far easier time than I do finding drugs. Every dealer assumes I’m a cop
Mushrooms are sold in head shops in Oakland, California. I understand that to be the case in a number of cities. You may be able to make your way to one of them.
Are they sold openly this way? Or does the person behind the counter need to trust you to sell them to you?
Where do they get the heads? The mortuary,?
Find a good stick and bring it inside
Devious!
Sext her.
Sext her sister
Sext her sister's BIL
If you don’t like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.
Heh yeah. I'll just call up my xoke dealer.
Edit:
bout to get wild
Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter
Pee in all the sinks.
What about the sink I poop in?
The shower.
Waffle stomp!
Cleaning that up is gonna be work.
Grab your knife.
Ooh, study for 14 hours straight and forget to eat! That's usually what I do. Wild times.
I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing
Cocaine feels like a good time.
Cocaine feels like the need for more cocaine.
No one has ever been more correct.
A strong few years of devoted, in-depth field research on the subject yielded this insight and…not much else. Still trying to get published, maybe in High Times Investigative Quarterly (they’re an academic outfit, right?)
You guys are amazing
grind leetcode
Rearrange the lounge, or if you want to play it safe, maybe just the shed
Truest statement.
Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgHW02YF50s
hookers?
In that situation I make myself a half-rack of pork ribs in the slowcooker.
Wife doesn't actually mind this, she just doesn't care for pork ribs herself and I don't feel like making her a separate meal when I'm indulging my inner carnivore.
My wife would not want to miss out on ribs.
Time to finally put in that $25,000 patio door.
I can't wait till the bluesky fediverse bridge is done. Links dead to anyone without an account BTW.
I thought they opened that up, but I think a lot of users still have their accounts set to logged-in only.
"Sign-in Required
This user has requested that their content only be shown to signed-in users.
This label was applied by the author."
To be specific. Looks like you're right.
Oh hell yeah, fellow orna enjoyer. I like the arcane slimes almost as much as the deadwood.
Funny thing, I just made up ArcaneSlime myself and have no clue what you're talking about, but now I'm very curious lol.
Wild! Orna is a geobased RPG which has bright purple teardrops called arcane slimes that you can fight.
It’s a pretty good game, but the creator wanted to avoid all scammy mobile game tactics and there’s not enough scarcity to make it long term engaging. It’s very fun for a few months every couple years or so, though, which I like better, tbh.
Oh word cool, I'll have to give it a try! Thanks for letting me know about it!